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To see, see the swarthy sky
and marvel at its big blood ochre depths...
..so tell me, Duriel do you wonder why
the Annelida ignore our grunts?
And, do their foobly stares
make you feel a pithy fly?
I can tell you, they are worried by
your turgid frouggery growth
that looks like a spongy purple mold.
What's more, it knows your
uvulated premasticated
bial smells of a fetid infected sore.
Everything under the big swarthy sky
asks why, why do you even bother?
Only you have the charms of that chitin shell
that see's you to and back from hell.
An exercise in revolting poetry, aimed at inducing the maximum amount of pain.
”There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." - Hamlet (1.5.167-8), Hamlet to Horatio.
![[Image: yVR5oE.png]](http://imagizer.imageshack.com/img924/329/yVR5oE.png) ![[Image: VKQ0KLG.png]](http://i.imgur.com/VKQ0KLG.png)
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you forgot to put in </backspace> at the end. :)
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07-04-2003, 08:22 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-04-2003, 08:44 PM by Professor Frink.)
Novelos Terrificos
Edit: that's in reply to "I'm done for. Number 5." by Rhydderch Hael for those of you in flat view.
Posts: 785
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07-05-2003, 01:56 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-05-2003, 01:57 AM by NuurAbSaal.)
Congratulen on buyen "teh Armoor"! "teh Armoor" beeing elit and beeing smart you forr buyen elit "teh Armoor". No morre egain you suXXors!
Schtep One: Openn peckage! Good schtart it is!
Schtep Tow: Ignoree teh smell! Yor "teh Armoor" is brant-new we gaurante you!
Schtep Thre: If "teh Armoor" beeing red usen red scrol to wipe claen so you beeing abl to readd name on "teh Armoor"! Name beeing "teh Armoor"!
Schtep For: Detrermin whic side beeing up on "teh Armoor"! Most poeple wanten bigger hole beeing down and sticken head or equivilent trough othre!
Schtep Feiv: Edjust arms and (iff male) privete parts for meksimum compfort!
Schtep Sics: Endjoy! You now beeing in "teh Armoor" and elit!
Orda a secund "teh Armoor" inn time beeing less tahn thre weks and getten free "Belt of neva constiptaion becos is longa for meksimum compfort" for fre!! Yes, fre!
Rispectfuly,
Shinny Thing whic costen not to muhc
--
Have mercy, English is not my first language and maybe I overdid the whole "unreadable instructions" thing. But if any of you ever came across one of those things in RL, you'll understand (I hope ;) )
teh NuurAbSaal
EDIT: and it IS a guide, isn't it :P
"I'm a cynical optimistic realist. I have hopes. I suspect they are all in vain. I find a lot of humor in that." -Pete
I'll remember you.
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The Chaos Sanctuary
Hello, my name is Geoff Fraizer, and this is my guide to playing a whirlwind-casting pike-wielding Barbarian in the Blizzard game "Diablo 2"; if this does not suit you, try reading any of my other highly challenging guides: The iron maiden-casting blood-golem commanding Necromancer and the Frozen orb-casting, Frozen orb-casting, Frozen orb-casting sorceress (new in this version: you and your frozen orb.)
*Pren_LL-AB
USEast HC
Dark_Mutterings (Necromancer)
Doug_Winger (Wearbear)
Heroic career and 1.10 aspirations cut tragically short because NOBODY CAN DO ANYTHING WITH A 22.2K CONNECTION WHY DOES GOD HATE ME.
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Looks like you still have not forgiven Blizzard for the Whirly Barb. :)
GF = Heat Magnet.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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That could go either way, considering it was the hated uberbuild for so long, and then nerfed into oblivion, and apparently nerfed again with 1.10... :P
It's just an old-tyme lurker jab at 'the man'. /grin
No, not TheMan... not that old-tyme.
*Pren_LL-AB
USEast HC
Dark_Mutterings (Necromancer)
Doug_Winger (Wearbear)
Heroic career and 1.10 aspirations cut tragically short because NOBODY CAN DO ANYTHING WITH A 22.2K CONNECTION WHY DOES GOD HATE ME.
Posts: 16
Threads: 1
Joined: Apr 2003
07-09-2003, 11:52 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-09-2003, 12:00 PM by Kyrene.)
Battle Orders
by F.R. Enzier
Imagine, if you will, the casual menace of a charge of crashing ungulate quadrupeds, baring the screaming earth of the savannah to the mocking eyes of the sun, only quintessentially more dangerous, adding life, stamina and magical essence, with a mighty roar, challenging heaven and hell itself; that in essence, captured, pure and screaming, like a caged tiger, is the stamp of authority a Barbarian leaves on the land he straddles, like a colossus, burnished and golden, mocking giants, whenever he utters those immortal words, âUh, oops!â
Edit: Since I stuffed up the title after using the "preview" button...
Francois
"Go now and sin no more." - John 8:11
All technical links have been removed from this signature, until definitive 1.10 data becomes available.
Read some Tales from Sanctuary lately?
All my characters are simply Red on Europe and at home, see them here.
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This thread is closed; the contest is over. Thanks to all the participants!
We'll announce the winner in a bit - give us a few days to come to a consensus.
-Bolty
Quote:Considering the mods here are generally liberals who seem to have a soft spot for fascism and white supremacy (despite them saying otherwise), me being perma-banned at some point is probably not out of the question.
Posts: 904
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...three!
We have a three way tie. These were our favorite entries.
Quote:(Nicodemus Phaulkon)
The Test of a True Amazon by G. Gulling Massis
No matter how much Aella steeled herself, forever locked in conflict for those that claimed her presence in the war-party was based on her looks and not her battle prowess, she couldn't find the strength within herself to undergo the mythical Amazonian practice of righteous self-mastectomy in order to properly draw a bow; not so much because of the social or fashion challenges that it would provide, but more so because of the lifelong compensatory need to hold herself listing twenty degrees to starboard in order not to topple over while standing.
(Protoshoggoth)
The Glorious Adventures of Corian_Countertop, part Deux
Corian_Countertop trudged grimly through the thin muck and discarded carapaces littering the twisting tunnels of the aptly-if-unimaginatively-named Maggot Lair, stalking The Big Honkin' Immobile Maggot of legend, when suddenly the thought occurred to him that if goddamned (literally!) insects could traverse this thing on a daily basis, why was Raoul, his otherwise trusty merc and boon companion, hung up in a corner halfway across the level?
(Nicodemus Phaulkon)
Uniforms, High Kicks and a 401K by Polly Ester Chafes
The situation of personal investment had become untenable as, taking another battle stance in preparation against the Fallen now milling in closer and closer as if sensing her distraction from the fact that the last round of finishing kicks had indeed caused her uniform bottoms to "go ninja" in-between her glutes, Desdemona began to realize that if she truly intended to successfully retire from her career as an assassin; she would have to find a way for her assets to stop bunching in the end.
Nico and Proto: To collect your prizes, PM or e-mail your title of choice. Doesn't have to be immediately. Also, keep in mind we're not here to perform "title maintenence," so whatever you decide will likely stick with you.
[o: *LEMMING* :o]
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I'd just like to tack on to Lemming's announcement here; it was BRUTALLY tough picking these winners. Each moderator picked their 5 favorites, and then the entries with the most votes between all of us won.
I myself picked 10 entries that made me laugh uproariously, and I had a very hard time whittling them down to just five picks. These entries were fabulous all around; I'd say that as a contest concept, Lemming deserves a round of applause (yes, this contest was his idea). Hopefully we can do more such contests in the future, and spread some more forum titles around from time to time to the winners.
So thanks go to all the applicants for making a very hilarious thread and a fun read all around!
-Bolty
Quote:Considering the mods here are generally liberals who seem to have a soft spot for fascism and white supremacy (despite them saying otherwise), me being perma-banned at some point is probably not out of the question.
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:lol: Good choices , funny even after reading 2-3 times apiece :lol: Congrats guys !!
Stormrage :
SugarSmacks / 90 Shammy -Elemental
TaMeKaboom/ 90 Hunter - BM
TaMeOsis / 90 Paladin - Prot
TaMeAgeddon/ 85 Warlock - Demon
TaMeDazzles / 85 Mage- Frost
FrostDFlakes / 90 Rogue
TaMeOlta / 85 Druid-resto
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