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Minionman,Jul 19 2005, 12:18 PM Wrote:I wish I could turn things into other things.
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Through an odd twist of fate, involving a near death experience in an italian restaurant, a side order of tomato sauce, and a copy of last month's Popular Science Magazine you discover an inate ability to transmute matter. Worlds of possibility open before you, indead a near infinate combination of objects lurk just beyond the fabric of reality, just waiting for you to use the seam ripping tool that your mind has become. The future of man-kind is a coin, one side - hope, the other - despair. You are the thumb upon which the flip of that coin will begin. Vast power seems to pulse in your fingers. One problem though, your control is rather poor. You seem adept at reproducing items from the environment of that Italian restaurant, and even better with the menu items, but when you tried for the cure for cancer, you turned a pile of lab coats into a camel and when you tried for your Destruct-O-Ray, you managed to turn a house-cat into an exquisitly detailed miniature reporoduction of the Great Barrier Reef. It seems that the coin flip upon which our destiny hangs has bounced off your outstretched hand, and gone rolling off under the couch of chaos theory. Perhaps there are set recipies for this sort of thing?
I wish my ISP was a bit more stable.
ah bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bob
dyah ah dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dth
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posts: 1,034
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Jeunemaitre,Jul 19 2005, 12:11 PM Wrote:Through an odd twist of fate, involving a near death experience in an italian restaurant, a side order of tomato sauce, and a copy of last month's Popular Science Magazine you discover an inate ability to transmute matter. Worlds of possibility open before you, indead a near infinate combination of objects lurk just beyond the fabric of reality, just waiting for you to use the seam ripping tool that your mind has become. The future of man-kind is a coin, one side - hope, the other - despair. You are the thumb upon which the flip of that coin will begin. Vast power seems to pulse in your fingers. One problem though, your control is rather poor. You seem adept at reproducing items from the environment of that Italian restaurant, and even better with the menu items, but when you tried for the cure for cancer, you turned a pile of lab coats into a camel and when you tried for your Destruct-O-Ray, you managed to turn a house-cat into an exquisitly detailed miniature reporoduction of the Great Barrier Reef. It seems that the coin flip upon which our destiny hangs has bounced off your outstretched hand, and gone rolling off under the couch of chaos theory. Perhaps there are set recipies for this sort of thing?
I wish my ISP was a bit more stable.
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Granted. The servers are now sitting on a very hard to knock over block of stone. It absorbs vibrations, doesn't tip easily, and the stone is very hard to split. in order to maintain this block, your internet rates have gone up by 200% or $50 a month, whichever is greater.
I wish I could shoot lightning from my hands.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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Minionman,Jul 19 2005, 09:17 PM Wrote:I wish I could shoot lightning from my hands.
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granted. Now that you're a sith Mace Windu slices you in half with his well funky purple-bladed lightsabre. Ouch.
I wish I could take photos of the moon which didn't end up like this:
![[Image: dscf1541small2rk.jpg]](http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/2818/dscf1541small2rk.jpg)
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Bob,Jul 19 2005, 05:34 PM Wrote:granted. Now that you're a sith Mace Windu slices you in half with his well funky purple-bladed lightsabre. Ouch.
I wish I could take photos of the moon which didn't end up like this:
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granted. you take photos of the moon which are completely black because you forgot to put the film in the camera.
I wish to see a funny wedding.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 272
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Minionman,Jul 19 2005, 11:52 PM Wrote:I wish to see a funny wedding.
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granted. Unfortuntely it's your own wedding, and, upset at the trauma of being laughed at by all the guests and you, your new wife files for divorce the same day.
I wish you know that I have a digital camera
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Bob,Jul 19 2005, 06:37 PM Wrote:granted. Unfortuntely it's your own wedding, and, upset at the trauma of being laughed at by all the guests and you, your new wife files for divorce the same day.
I wish you know that I have a digital camera
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Granted. Instead of forgetting the film, the pictures come out blank because the camera somehow gave your computer a virus that completely destroyed it. Now you have no computer for awhile and have possibly lost some important information.
I wish I could get taller and shorter at will.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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Minionman,Jul 20 2005, 02:06 AM Wrote:I wish I could get taller and shorter at will.
[right][snapback]83890[/snapback][/right] Granted, however your power only extends as far as wearing and removing various pairs of shoes with differing sole thicknesses. Incidentally, while attempting to walk at your tallest in a pair of forty-eight inch platforms, you fall and break both your ankles.
I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
When in mortal danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.
BattleTag: Schrau#2386
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NiteFox,Jul 20 2005, 05:45 AM Wrote:Granted, however your power only extends as far as wearing and removing various pairs of shoes with differing sole thicknesses. Incidentally, while attempting to walk at your tallest in a pair of forty-eight inch platforms, you fall and break both your ankles.
I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
[right][snapback]83911[/snapback][/right] Granted. The fish survived to reproduce, and its offspring are clogging the waterways all over the place. They're worse than zebra mussels. You have single-handedly ruined the water quality of 49 states and the whole of Canada (Mexico's water can't be ruined any more than it its). Plus the fish are vectors for cholera and typhoid fever, so you also caused a pandemic. How do you feel now?
I wish I understood why the printer won't print.
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Lady Vashj,Jul 20 2005, 02:01 PM Wrote:I wish I understood why the printer won't print.
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Granted! Your knowledge unveils a vast conspiracy involving several government members and many Rich and Powerful⢠people extending through all manners of domestic electronic appliances, to increase benefits and produce a false stimulation of the economy. You'll have to hide for years and years, constantly on the run and narrowly staying one step ahead of the black helicopters.
I wish the friggin' program I'm writting was finished already.
(I'm bored out of my skull with this Java programming crap).
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Walkiry,Jul 20 2005, 08:38 AM Wrote:Granted! Your knowledge unveils a vast conspiracy involving several government members and many Rich and Powerful⢠people extending through all manners of domestic electronic appliances, to increase benefits and produce a false stimulation of the economy. You'll have to hide for years and years, constantly on the run and narrowly staying one step ahead of the black helicopters.
I wish the friggin' program I'm writting was finished already.
(I'm bored out of my skull with this Java programming crap).
[right][snapback]83920[/snapback][/right]
Granted. You pull several all nighters top finish the programs, than go insane from lack of sleep and for the rest of your life think you are a giant bunny.
I wish to see a cabbage explode.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 475
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Minionman,Jul 20 2005, 11:31 AM Wrote:Granted. You pull several all nighters top finish the programs, than go insane from lack of sleep and for the rest of your life think you are a giant bunny.
I wish to see a cabbage explode.
[right][snapback]83923[/snapback][/right] Granted...Now you're wearing a lot of coleslaw.
I wish I had a Milky Way candy bar. (Predictionator running at capacity...)
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Lady Vashj,Jul 20 2005, 03:07 PM Wrote:Granted...Now you're wearing a lot of coleslaw.
I wish I had a Milky Way candy bar. (Predictionator running at capacity...)
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Granted. You must now drive out to California to collect your prize of a milky way bar. failure to show up in person will result in a $1,000 fine.
I wish I could have a bowl of chocolate ice cream right now.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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Minionman,Jul 20 2005, 10:19 PM Wrote:Granted. You must now drive out to California to collect your prize of a milky way bar. failure to show up in person will result in a $1,000 fine.
I wish I could have a bowl of chocolate ice cream right now.
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You are unable to get your bowl of ice cream -- at first. As you live the long life ahead of you, you always harbor secret regret over this unfulfilled wish.
Fifty years in the future, your colleague Igor J. Klernfelter develops a machine that can transport a single person through time! Unable to endure a life in which your single, innocuous wish has been thwarted, you volunteer to test it. Klernfelter, who has ambitions to right many of historyâs greatest wrongs, insists that this first test be used on something unimportant that will not change history too much.
You go back to this date in history and HAVE that ice cream, RIGHT NOW. Itâs DELICIOUS! You savor it slowly, resting the bowl atop Klernfelterâs unique, soon-to-be-patented Hyperchronicity Sequencer.
Unfortunately, the sequencer is thrown hopelessly out of whack by exposure to the chilly treat. You cannot return to your proper time! You also cannot get a message to Professor Klernfelter, as the test conditions preclude your influencing history.
Unable to retrieve his machine, the broken-hearted Klernfelter loses interest in his research, and time travel is stillborn.
Somewhere, Adolf Hitler is laughing.
I wish I didnât have to go to the dentist in a few hours.
Sailboat
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Sailboat,Jul 21 2005, 07:38 AM Wrote:You are unable to get your bowl of ice cream -- at first. As you live the long life ahead of you, you always harbor secret regret over this unfulfilled wish.
Fifty years in the future, your colleague Igor J. Klernfelter develops a machine that can transport a single person through time! Unable to endure a life in which your single, innocuous wish has been thwarted, you volunteer to test it. Klernfelter, who has ambitions to right many of historyâs greatest wrongs, insists that this first test be used on something unimportant that will not change history too much.
You go back to this date in history and HAVE that ice cream, RIGHT NOW. Itâs DELICIOUS! You savor it slowly, resting the bowl atop Klernfelterâs unique, soon-to-be-patented Hyperchronicity Sequencer.
Unfortunately, the sequencer is thrown hopelessly out of whack by exposure to the chilly treat. You cannot return to your proper time! You also cannot get a message to Professor Klernfelter, as the test conditions preclude your influencing history.
Unable to retrieve his machine, the broken-hearted Klernfelter loses interest in his research, and time travel is stillborn.
Somewhere, Adolf Hitler is laughing.
I wish I didnât have to go to the dentist in a few hours.
Sailboat
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Granted. Your dentist apointment has been postponed due to your incarceration at a federal prison. Your checkup will be in a week.
I wish I could actually build a time machine.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 272
Threads: 16
Joined: Feb 2003
Minionman,Jul 21 2005, 01:49 PM Wrote:Granted. Your dentist apointment has been postponed due to your incarceration at a federal prison. Your checkup will be in a week.
I wish I could actually build a time machine.
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Granted. Since you now have a time machine (which you obviously brought back in time) you have no reason to make that wish. The entire thread collapses in a temporal paradox and but you, and I, and possible Lemming get a headache.
I wish the 16 CD's that I accidentally ripped with MP3 encoding rather than vorbis would automatically re-rip themselves as ogg so I don't have to do it.
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Bob,Jul 21 2005, 08:28 AM Wrote:Granted. Since you now have a time machine (which you obviously brought back in time) you have no reason to make that wish. The entire thread collapses in a temporal paradox and but you, and I, and possible Lemming get a headache.
I wish the 16 CD's that I accidentally ripped with MP3 encoding rather than vorbis would automatically re-rip themselves as ogg so I don't have to do it.
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Granted. I don't completely understand your wish, and am feeling lazy, so your face is now covered in yogurt. Tastes good doesn't it?
I wish I nad more interesting movies to watch.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 292
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07-21-2005, 04:33 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-21-2005, 04:43 PM by Jeunemaitre.)
Bob,Jul 21 2005, 10:28 AM Wrote:I wish the 16 CD's that I accidentally ripped with MP3 encoding rather than vorbis would automatically re-rip themselves as ogg so I don't have to do it.
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I have absolutely no idea what you just said, but that won't stop me from declaring your wish... (wait for it, wait for it) GRANTED!!!!!
You files are reformatted without your involvement: that new copy of Win-RF® (the handy new windows background utility program that reformatts selected media files to be compatible with your preferred player), has taken it upon itself to solve your problem. Unfortunately, it decides (based on some odd quirk of baysian decision analysis) that you don't really need anyting on your computer to have the extension .dll, so it rewrites them as files with a .dat extension. Then it decides that the whole file extension-thing is overrated, and consolidates all your files into some new extensionless operating system hybridization. Those CD's didn't require your attention, but it might have worked out better if you solved your own problem.
I wish I could sue this Klernfelter guy: I think his "Hyperchronicity Sequencer" may be infringing on my WishR-TR⢠technology (Your source for Wish Related Temporal Re-alignment©!).
edit: Son-of-a... beaten to the punch. Oh well, next wish in line...
Minionman,Jul 21 2005, 12:28 AM Wrote:I wish I nad more interesting movies to watch.
Right then. Not so sure on the "nad" thing, but we'll just go with the rest of it. You hunt through a few cupboards, and find a stash of the latest and greatest dramas just released on VHS and Region 3 DVD. Sorry to say this, but you just realize that your stuck with a region 1 DVD player and that's it. The movies are there, but there's no way to play them.
That reminds me of something. I wish I could go to the Nationals game tonight and get a chear of "Go Nats!" started. Just think: 40 thousand people chanting "Go Nats! Go Nats! Go Nats!" It'll be beautiful :whistling:
ah bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bob
dyah ah dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dth
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posts: 1,034
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Jeunemaitre,Jul 21 2005, 10:33 AM Wrote:I wish I could sue this Klernfelter guy: I think his "Hyperchronicity Sequencer" may be infringing on my WishR-TR⢠technology (Your source for Wish Related Temporal Re-alignment©!).
edit: Son-of-a... beaten to the punch. Oh well, next wish in line...
That reminds me of something. I wish I could go to the Nationals game tonight and get a chear of "Go Nats!" started. Just think: 40 thousand people chanting "Go Nats! Go Nats! Go Nats!" It'll be beautiful :whistling:
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To grant both your wishes: Klernferter, desperate for a way to win the suit, builds a new time machine, goes back, and makes a few changes to the laws, and you are now in jail. Klernferter's changes also result in the Expos instead moving to Indianapolis, leaving the Washington D.C. stadium as an area where drug addicts hang out, and they are the ones calling "go Nats".
I wish I could make money for having memorized all 50 states in 2000 population order. (I have actualy done this, although don't know them in Alphabetical order.)
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 32
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Minionman,Jul 21 2005, 10:09 PM Wrote:I wish I could make money for having memorized all 50 states in 2000 population order. [right][snapback]84020[/snapback][/right]
you can. in fact someone we all know with the initials MJ is willing to pay you $5000 for your skills as long as you sleep over with him at his fantasy ranch.
[shrug] well not everyone would consider that a perverted wish :P
incidentally have any of you read Magic Street by orson scott card? it's about wishes gone awry... oddly apropos.
i wish i actually enjoyed exercising.
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Aello,Jul 21 2005, 05:09 PM Wrote:you can. in fact someone we all know with the initials MJ is willing to pay you $5000 for your skills as long as you sleep over with him at his fantasy ranch.
[shrug] well not everyone would consider that a perverted wish :P
incidentally have any of you read Magic Street by orson scott card? it's about wishes gone awry... oddly apropos.
i wish i actually enjoyed exercising.
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Granted. Excersizing naked outside on a snowy day becomes very fun to you.
I wish my graduation ceremony had been a lot shorter.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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