Got a Thinking Problem?
#1
It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone --"to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home.

One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in.

He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors...

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today, I registered as a Republican.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
#2
Hahaha! Priceless :)

During the first 8-9 lines of your post, I actually thought you were talking about yourself, regaling a story from your everyday life... I guess I don't have to worry too much about becoming heavy thinker... :P
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
#3
Doc,Jul 7 2005, 11:36 AM Wrote:It started out innocently enough.

==snip==
[right][snapback]82717[/snapback][/right]

Choice. :lol: And here I thought TA was all about Maxim Magazine and "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century."

Thanks for the chuckle.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
#4
[wcip]Angel,Jul 7 2005, 01:33 PM Wrote:Hahaha! Priceless :)

During the first 8-9 lines of your post, I actually thought you were talking about yourself, regaling a story from your everyday life... I guess I don't have to worry too much about becoming heavy thinker... :P
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I am both shocked and insulted that you would think of me as a Republican. I demand satisfaction! **Pulls off a gauntlet and throws it on the ground**

And for all you punks getting ready to draw a line in the sand, I am no democrat either!

I say we clone Ayn Rand and vote her into office.

Oooooh, I bet that put some gasoline on the fire.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
#5
Doc,Jul 7 2005, 10:36 AM Wrote:----cut----

Today, I registered as a Republican.
[right][snapback]82717[/snapback][/right]


Ahh, humor. Typical snot-nosed liberal supiriority complexed pseudo-intellectual drivel. At least you could have been a bit more original that just regurgitating the same old "Republicans are dumb" message. *Shrug*.



-A
#6
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 02:05 PM Wrote:Ahh, humor. Typical snot-nosed liberal supiriority complexed pseudo-intellectual drivel. At least you could have been a bit more original that just regurgitating the same old "Republicans are dumb" message. *Shrug*.
-A
[right][snapback]82729[/snapback][/right]

Are you trying to win an award for Dumb-Assery? Are you by chance the typical example of a Republican? Should I judge them all by your example? Dare I become hypocritical and judge them by your spelling? That is a Lounge standard. Ah, I'll let that slide for now.

I am no liberal. And since when is that a bad word? Did you know all of our founding fathers were liberals?

Infact, I am a fairly hardcore conservative. I am somewhat Technocratic. I am a militant libertarian. Yeah... I said it. Come and get me all you big government beaurocratic goons! I got scissors for your red tape right here you pansies!
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
#7
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 01:05 PM Wrote:Ahh, humor. Typical snot-nosed liberal supiriority complexed pseudo-intellectual drivel. At least you could have been a bit more original that just regurgitating the same old "Republicans are dumb" message. *Shrug*.
-A
[right][snapback]82729[/snapback][/right]

There is a growing body of conservatives who find themselves alienated by the Republican Party's discrepancy between actions, words, and the long term interests of the US of A. A buddy of mine sent me a three page paper explaining their grievances, back in September, and encouraged me to join him in voting for John Kerry in protest of the inconsistencies, mistakes, and confusion in Republican leadership. He resigned his commission in the USAF two years before he had intended to, he was so unhappy with our political leadership. His assignment was to have been an instructor at the Air Force Academy.

Anyway, he was very upset. He agreed that the Democrats don't have many good answers either, but felt a need to punish the Republican leadership with his vote. (As do a number of conservatives.) EDIT: I think he mistook me for a Pat Buchannan lap dog. :P

There is no Perot, there is no, TR, no Bullmoose Party.

Nader? Harrumph.

Ayn Rand? *Shrugs* Wait, didn't Atlas already do that? :blink:

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
#8
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 11:05 AM Wrote:Ahh, humor. Typical snot-nosed liberal supiriority complexed pseudo-intellectual drivel. At least you could have been a bit more original that just regurgitating the same old "Republicans are dumb" message. *Shrug*.
-A
[right][snapback]82729[/snapback][/right]

I took this as a joke thread. I thought it was quite pun-funny. As long as jokes are the only things being hurled across the aisle we are in pretty good shape. And I would label myself as an independent conservative who generally finds the Republican candidate the lesser of two evils :lol: .
The Bill of No Rights
The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance. Robert A. Heinlein
#9
Doc,Jul 7 2005, 01:15 PM Wrote:I am no liberal. And since when is that a bad word?[right][snapback]82732[/snapback][/right]
It's not.

And I thought it was funny until I saw the last line and thought "dammit why does everything have to be political these days?" And for the record, I don't align with either party and think both have some 'splainin' to do...
#10
jahcs,Jul 7 2005, 02:59 PM Wrote:I took this as a joke thread.  I thought it was quite pun-funny.  As long as jokes are the only things being hurled across the aisle we are in pretty good shape.  And I would label myself as an independent conservative who generally finds the Republican candidate the lesser of two evils :lol: .
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Don't get me wrong. I am not a huge fan of Republicans these days. However, to me it is not a question of "lesser of two evils". It is more a question of 1) Not good but still sane and 2) Insane.


-A
#11
Doc,Jul 7 2005, 12:15 PM Wrote:Are you trying to win an award for Dumb-Assery? Are you by chance the typical example of a Republican? Should I judge them all by your example? Dare I become hypocritical and judge them by your spelling? That is a Lounge standard. Ah, I'll let that slide for now.

I am no liberal. And since when is that a bad word? Did you know all of our founding fathers were liberals?

Infact, I am a fairly hardcore conservative. I am somewhat Technocratic. I am a militant libertarian. Yeah... I said it. Come and get me all you big government beaurocratic goons! I got scissors for your red tape right here you pansies!
[right][snapback]82732[/snapback][/right]


Well, I bet you that my spelling in English is significantly better than your spelling in any language other that English, but I happen to be fluent in another language and I bet you that you are not. I also do not always have the time to check my posts for spelling, so if sometimes certain words are not spelled correctly.... deal with it.

Our founding fathers might indeed have been liberals, but their version of liberalism drastically differed from ours. They would be spinning in their graves if they knew that you were equating them to the liberals of today.



-A
#12
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 05:21 PM Wrote:Well, I bet you that my spelling in English is significantly better than your spelling in any language other that English, but I happen to be fluent in another language and I bet you that you are not. I also do not always have the time to check my posts for spelling, so if sometimes certain words are not spelled correctly.... deal with it.

Our founding fathers might indeed have been liberals, but their version of liberalism drastically differed from ours. They would be spinning in their graves if they knew that you were equating them to the liberals of today.
-A
[right][snapback]82762[/snapback][/right]

I have done no such thing. You are the one pushing for making liberal a bad word.

For the record, I speak two languages fluently. American English, and Southern English. Yes, there is a considerable difference. There are parts of the South where people are speaking English, but you wouldn't understand a word they are saying. And they wouldn't understand a word you were saying either. :P It is another language.

And I will go on to say that I have loved (some of) the Republicans in the past. I am totally disgusted by the Neo-Cons of today.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
#13
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 04:21 PM Wrote:Our founding fathers might indeed have been liberals, but their version of liberalism drastically differed from ours. They would be spinning in their graves if they knew that you were equating them to the liberals of today.
-A
[right][snapback]82762[/snapback][/right]

Too bad we can't go to their graves and test this out. because, of course, we can't tell what the people who started the country would be thinking about what's happened in the last 230 years or so.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
#14
Minionman,Jul 7 2005, 04:51 PM Wrote:Too bad we can't go to their graves and test this out.  because, of course, we can't tell what the people who started the country would be thinking about what's happened in the last 230 years or so.
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I know this is a novel concept for you, but reading history books can be an enlightening experience sometimes.



-A
#15
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 11:56 PM Wrote:I know this is a novel concept for you, but reading history books can be an enlightening experience sometimes.
-A
[right][snapback]82775[/snapback][/right]

Ashock,

You're being reactionary and condescending in almost every post in this thread. It does not make for fruitful discourse, or even interesting forum fodder.

Doc's original post was meant to be funny, don't take offense so easily.
Signature? What do you mean?
#16
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 05:56 PM Wrote:I know this is a novel concept for you, but reading history books can be an enlightening experience sometimes.
-A
[right][snapback]82775[/snapback][/right]

I read a lot of history, enough to know that a lot has happened between when those guys were alive and doing things and now. The joke was about how:

1. We can't possibly know their thoughts for sure.
2. If they really were watching the country, they would have taken in all that has happened between now and then, so opinions would have changed.
3. If you did take their opinions straight out of 1700's, they would be pretty useless to us because of a number of changes in the economy, politics, size of the country, world conditions, etc.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
#17
Any1,Jul 7 2005, 05:53 PM Wrote:Ashock,

You're being reactionary and condescending in almost every post in this thread.  It does not make for fruitful discourse, or even interesting forum fodder.

Doc's original post was meant to be funny, don't take offense so easily.
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Doc's post was mildly amusing, until the last line. Since I have heard way too much garbage of this type, I no longer have any tolerance for this crap.

Oh and please don't tell me how and what to think. You are not the PC police.


Bye bye now.


-A
#18
Ashock,Jul 7 2005, 10:59 PM Wrote:Doc's post was mildly amusing, until the last line. Since I have heard way too much garbage of this type, I no longer have any tolerance for this crap.

Oh and please don't tell me how and what to think. You are not the PC police.
Bye bye now.
-A
[right][snapback]82794[/snapback][/right]

Dude... Who pissed in your cornflakes?
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
#19
Guilty as charged, amused, too.

=)
Scientist by Day
Sorceress by Night
#20
Mephista,Jul 8 2005, 06:05 PM Wrote:Guilty as charged, amused, too.

=)
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LOL

Sorry for disappearing from 7L. RL has picked up pace again.


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