Battle Net Funnies, Version 1.10

[Pren]

I played a little with my new trap assassin last night.

First game, I was soloing in act 1 while the rest of the 7 people were off doing whatever in 3. The first time a guy died, I snickered to myself. The third time, I was contemplating suggesting that he drink potions. After the 7th time it was all I could do to not suggest he try to suck less. Other people were dying periodically too.

When I did duriel in a party, basically all 7 people other than me died. They were sort of zerging down the portals in duriel's chamber. Not fast enough, unfortunately. The majority of the battle was me spamming shadow warrior to distract duriel and me and the necro running around waiting for the slackasses to come back down. I almost didn't have to return to town for potions, but I ran out of mana with him at about 5%. When I returned, I had the worst loading lag I've ever experienced short of lister and began slamming reds (no rejuves on belt) and managed to run off with under 5% of my own bubble left. I promptly snaked two of the 4 uberdrops, because I've never been able to loot a boss in a public game. I now have a dual leach battle staff on weapon swap, I'll see how well it works with blade fury :P

The most pitiable thing I've seen is one amazon dying 5 or 6 times in a row to the same thing trying to recover their corpse.

[Brista]

I thought I'd share another one. I was in Nightmare Plains of Despair and a Barb joined me. Rather than get involved in any fighting he followed me around watching for a while

Barb: what sort of Nec???
Me: (with a silent Duh!) skellies
Barb: don't they suck?
Me: Nope

Pause, invincible army marches across Izual's turf chewing up gloams and venom lords

Barb: I think I'm gonna make a Nec

:lol:

[Refrigerator]

Well, here are a few quotes about what people think about clerics. Particularly mine, because I'm not really doing a survey. Just what they've said about the cleric. Already I've talked too much.

"Holy bolt is ridiculously useful!" -This guy was pretty shocked
"GOD LOVES HOLY BOLT!!!"
"weirdest duriel kill i've ever dun..."

Lots more, these are the few I remember... great fun!

Greetings,
Refrigerator

[BotMolesti]

A Pally and I (necro with puny skels and a clay golem) go down to durance of hate level 1. He puts up a tp, then kind of freezes. I wait, then I wait some more, but, oh well, I'm desperate to get the durance lvl 2 wp, so I think to myself, why not try it alone.

Turned out to be a mistake, next room had some boss mage and his minions waiting. The meteors and stuff quickly decimated my hardly able crew (© Sirian) and I ran. Back to the entrance, where the pally stood. I put up town portal and bailed out, all alone now. At Kurast docks I watched, with a strange mix of fascination and desparation, frozen pallys health bar go down. Then he dies.

It's all my fault! I just had to rectify this situation or else I wouldn't be able to look into a mirror again. The vision of this pally, waking up and finding himself dead and forsaken, would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Some dozen trips to blood moor later, my one second army finally clears the room.

Pally wakes up and says: Wow! Lag!

Yeah sure, 30 minutes lag spike.

[Occhidiangela]

Ran into a random werebear in HC yesterday. I had an arctic blast hat I found, so I went from early werebear, lvl8, to using Arctic blast and poison pots so that we would not have two werebears heading into the Barracks.

We did pretty good, as a team, young nvm and me, until we got hear the Smith. He made some comment "I am nine years old."

I reply with *grin, and how do you like the game, I am 44.*

His reply: No your not.

I was not ready for that.

My reply: Why would I lie to you about my age?

His: no your not, repeated six or seven times. I suppose he was either nine, or wanted to act like a nine year old, not sure.

Me: "Being rude is a bad idea in Hardcore, you seem to act like you are nine. Let's just play and forget the age thing."

Him: fin, your 44.

We killed the Smith, him hanging back while I took care of business, and I picked up the Malus.

We went to the camp, I began to type him a message, and while composing

"turn in malus"

hit the screen about 5 times in a row.

I changed my message.

"No, I don't think so. You need a lesson in manners. Ask your Mom for it. Good day."

I left the game, not sure if it really was a nine year old, or if it was just a jerk. If it really was a nine year old, I am not sure if I should feel bad for letting that young'n irritate me.

I am not into enabling behaviour for nonsense, and I really wonder at why that lad is allowed to play on bnet. My son in 11. He is allowed to play Warcraft and Starcraft, SP, but not on bnet.

[Walkiry]

Maggot lair, late at night, me with my new poison javelin Amazon.

Me: Don't hit the scarabs, let the poison kill them.
Random: Why?
*whack whack... bzzzzzzerrrrrt*
*Random has been killed by steel scarab
Me: Because that way they make no sparks.

*whack whack... bzzzzzzerrrrrt*
*Random has been killed by steel scarab
*Random2 has been killed by steel scarab

Me: Will you let the poison do the killing?
RandomN: Why.

Ad nauseum.

:lol:

[Ferengi]

Actually, the bad side of Diablo hasn't changed much. The other night I noticed a group making an Andy charge and starting to drop, so I thought I'd try out the new +fire effect on Holy Fire (he's a chipper) in a tougher place. It was amazing, I was doing 4x the damage with a puny scepter than the 2 sword barbs combined. The group got smart fast, they let me lead and then the bad side, they grabbed everything. It was good that I didn't need anything (HF chippers basically pump vit out of boredom after too many point pile up).

OTOH, I have had some really good party games in ladder games beyond Act1. A throwing hybrid barb and my confuse+BP necro combined to takedown the Throne room and Baal (after the other melee chars died and left). It was nimble fingers and fast thinking and probably the best game I've ever played. And there have been 2 or 3 others, and that might exceed to total in 1.09.

Oh that group I mentioned in the first paragraph? They robbed my Andy drops, went to Act2 to sell them and returned to Act1 !!! Not a word about going forward in Act2. Not a word about how their characters "owned Andy". The word is out about how hard the game has become and players are adapting. The preceeding joke posts will be become a memory in ladder games for some time yet to come.

[Walkiry]

Oh that group I mentioned in the first paragraph?  They robbed my Andy drops, went to Act2 to sell them and returned to Act1 !!!  Not a word about going forward in Act2.  Not a word about how their characters "owned Andy".  The word is out about how hard the game has become and players are adapting.  The preceeding joke posts will be become a memory in ladder games for some time yet to come.

You're probably right, but so far it's been quite fun, enjoy it while you can ;)

Act 1 Nightmare, I create a game called "Act 1 Quest 2".

Random people join, lots. We're a full 8 people party before I've left town. I go to the cold plains and throw a portal, people come through. Few seconds later a level 12 starts yelling "my portal! my portal!" spamming the whole screen. Sure enough, the portal goes to catacombs level 2 as I see everyone but a paladin there in the party screen.

I shrug and go with the pally. My Valky tanks, I poison the baddies while he uses holy fire (really!) and FoH on undeads (which were quite resistant to my poison). We're doing some OK progress.

A couple of minutes pass.

A has been killed by tainted.
B has been killed by tainted.
C has been killed by tainted.
A has been killed by tainted.
D has been killed by tainted.
A has been killed by tainted.
B has been killed by tainted.

(and so forth :lol:)

Level 12 spammer: HELP! (x10).
Level 12 spammer: What are you doing in cold plains?? (x6)

Me: Well, the game is called Act 1 Quest 2, and that's what I intended to do when I created it.
Level 12 spammer: Why not Andy?? (x1000) (really!)
Me: What's the hurry?

Spammer has left the game.
A has left the game.
B has left the game.

The rest joined us in the cold plains and we started to really make some progress. We killed Blood Raven (the pally was quite happy to have orb sorcies to deal with poison resistant baddies since his FoH was sucking up too much mana). Dark wood, back, forth, the group actually stayed nicely together and we were starting to work well as an improvised team. We had two Valkies, the other Amazon was using lightning fury, we had the cold sorcies (one with the orb, the other used blizzard + spike) and the paladin was tanking and managing the mobs very handily.

And you know what? The game froze in Tristram and after some 20 seconds it came back, dropping every single person except for me out of the game. Curses!

[Jorath]

Yesterdau I played in a game where all 6 of us were level 22, and playing together. Travincal and the temple were done all together.
We killed Mephisto, and while I spent the next 10 minutes killing the blood lords and remaining council members, everyone else ran to Diablo from the RoF waypoint.

About the time I got done, they got to D, then everyone proceeded to die 5+ times. I died twice, because D decided that I needed the lightning hose since I was doing the most damage.

We slowly whittled him down, and the drops were snagged instantly.

Once in act 5 a player left and got his lvl 80 frenzy barb. He rushed to the ancients (this is point where I should have quit) and the next 5 minutes was a game of play-catch-up for the rest of us as he sprinted ahead and killed everything.
After doing the ancients quest I left the game because being rushed is BORING. My only regret is that I didn't leave as soon as I cleared out the Durance level 3.

[jahcs]

Jorath,
I played a similar game last night, on soft core ladder on USwest. I had a charged bolt/static sorc. I tried moving through travincal and the durance systematicaly while others were charging off and bringing back swarms of monsters chasing them. A couple of us would get the monsters strung out again and kill them, while popping into town for potions while the others waited it out in town. A particularly nasty corridor had a boss pack of blood lords and a pack of stygian dolls led into it. I almost died at diablo, to stupidity (drank potions in the wrong belt slot). After he died I went to Harrogath and exited the game.

I have yet to see a boss drop in a multi player game beyond a flash of yellow items falling toward the floor before they disapear (most don't survive long enough to land).

In most games there is greater cooperation and more of a party feel. Until the boss is almost dead, then one or two people keep fighting and everyone else crowds in and waits for the "uber drop." Also I notice more people willing to visit all the areas of the game, get all the pieces of the Staff, and all of Khalim's body parts.

[CelticHound]

Actually, the bad side of Diablo hasn't changed much.

Oddly enough, this is why I'm against putting anti-rushing features into the game. I really want the typical b.net scum (as opposed to variant scum) to be able to self-segregate themselves in the 1.10 equivalent of Cow games.

You can force a pig to wear an exquisite silk kimono, but it's still a pig.

-- CH

[Occhidiangela]

And about that kimono . . . oh, not for me? OK, I get the picture . . . :D

[Crystalion]

I have yet to see a boss drop in a multi player game beyond a flash of yellow items falling toward the floor before they disapear (most don't survive long enough to land).

Wild. (Can you tell that I've not played in public games in years? Not since early D1 in fact).

This strikes me as funny, since I often leave money, blue and yellow items on the ground unexamined so I suppose these leeches would love to run around my games after I've killed the monsters.

I'm aware of the potential value/worthlessness of items and the value of my time (limited inven space ditto). I am aware that if I cared to maximize my loot I'd be pushing, ala EQ, for higher clvls to exclusion of almost any other consideration (I don't).

I have a friend that demonstrated it very well when someone IRL wanted to argue with him that it was worth it to pick up pennies--he simply pulled some pennies out of his pocket and scattered them on the ground. Naturally the person arguing with him did *not*, in fact, find it worth while to pick them up (and if he had started to, to try to win the argument, my friend would have gone out and bought a few rolls of pennies... you get the picture).

[MongoJerry]

In most games there is greater cooperation and more of a party feel. Until the boss is almost dead, then one or two people keep fighting and everyone else crowds in and waits for the "uber drop." Also I notice more people willing to visit all the areas of the game, get all the pieces of the Staff, and all of Khalim's body parts.

Two days ago, I checked out the Amazon Basin games, and ever since then I've been hooked! The politeness, comraderie, and teamwork in those games are amazing! There's a hard held tradition in those games that when you find anything remotely useful in a game, you drop it in town by the stash. As the game is winding down, the players in the party then divy up the loot (very valuable items that more than one player lays a claim to get divied up by lottery). Since the LL folks are such great folks, I felt I had to let you guys know about them if you don't know about them already. Go to the Amazon Basin, read the Basin Games FAQ (there are a lot of etiquette rules that one might not at first expect, so you should definitely read the FAQ before joining), and then click on WeaselTech to get game names and passwords. I highly recommend them!

[Guest]

Crystalion: But IRL one of those pennies couldn't be worth a million dollars (or could it? :P).