Battle Net Funnies, Version 1.10

[Occhidiangela]

My favorite line last night, when I finally got the connection sorted out and into a Hard Core game (by then my Variant friends were gone), was the comment of a Paladin in the Cold Plains:

"Man, it's different playing without Map Hack."

He is the same guy who asked me

"Why do I keep getting that message in the left hand corner of the screen about sold SoJ's"

Me: "Blizz added a neato feature, and a Diablo Clone will probably spawn at some point in this game if a magic number is hit."

"What number, and why are people selling SoJ's in HC already"

Me: "I don't know, and Blizz is not telling, but it is, IIRC, a Realm wide, Ladder and non Ladder thing. Check out their Forums and the Arreat Summit for more details, I am trying to play here. It was discussed a bit in the Beta for the patch."

He: "What, no one knows?"

Me: "For goodness sake, buddy, the patch is only a few hours old!'

He: "Yer just a f**kin noob, I'll go find some one who knows!"

*Person of dubious wit has just left the game, Diablo's minions laugh in their stew*

I admit that I dribbled some coffee out of my mouth giggling when I read his reply.

A litte while later, a few more folks joined in, game was named "andy now" and a 17 Level Hardcore Amazon showed up in the Barracks as I was in the process of fighting some rather nasty archers. Had to run to town for pots, they were being most rude. Shortly thereafter:

* So and so was slain by a Bone Archer *

My Guess: No points in Vitality, I suppose, and that four Skeleton Archer Champ Pack who had been making my level 12 Assassin dance a Tango, based on the Cross Fire they set up rather nicely, did for him rather nicely. I think the rube in question came down my TP when I ran to town for a few more red pots, and, sadly, walked right into it. I guess he never learned how to drink potions in those first 17 levels of Hardcore, and I of course never figured a 17 would be as far back as the Barracks. Whoops.

What was it that Yoda said to Luke when he turned 21?

"Drink, you will!"

Casual Conversation heard in the UW West Chat, Hardcore.

"Man, I lost a 94 Barb to that Diablo clone. He is tough."

"I took my barb against Pindle and he got F****n Owned!" These appeared to be non Ladder folks.

Some things never change.

[Baajikiil]

I'm already having the time of my life back in the pubbie bnet games. Old habits die hard, but I'm trying to ween myself from the anti-PK techniques that are ingrained into my playing style.

It seems to me that 7 out of every 8 players I've met must have been ~12 years old(due to mannerism/typing skill/level of thinking). I've already heard a dozen arguments that break down to, "No that's your Mom!". The complaints about the difficulty are very amusing as well. They all think that because their 1.09 lvl 90s(non ladder of course) can't handle hell anymore, the game must be too hard.

I've also run into several good party players, a made a few more playing buddies already :)

The lack of maphack is refreshing to say the least. I'll be happy for a while at least.

[Nastie_Bowie]

my favorite last nite was the following;

Him: i still have a wf but i cant use.

Me: why?

Him: i need one hex to use.

I promptly spit a mouthful of tea on my keyboard, I was laughing so hard.

A few of the other people liked it when i said "guess you guys will have to really learn how to play the game now." as you can imagine this drew a couple of rude remarks. i laughed some more.

needless to say i had a fun evening, listening to the crybabies.

Excellent job, Blizzard!

[AssA]

Well, some guys were blaming "crappy b.net software" for the fact that they weren't able to go through someone's TP to the Canyon of the Magi :P

[Jugalator]

Actually, my favorite pubbie game in 1.10 was the first and only one I have played in so far...

Why?

Because everyone in the game was sticking together, not greedily picking up items they couldn't use, and just having a good time! I'm sure such a pubbie game would have been almost impossible just two days ago. Not even a single "tp tp plz plzzz" spam.

It almost felt surreal...

[ildon]

My experience has mostly been better than before the patch, but that may mostly be due to playing in ladder games, where just the name itself kind of makes it "more serious". I actually took a screenshot of all 8 players in the game on the same screen fighting together, because it's something I hadn't seen in a LONG time. I actually get annoyed now when people run more than a screen and a half away. heh.

I wish I had experienced this "not picking up items you can't use" generosity, as my healer pally is really hurting for good equipment. :(

[Baajikiil]

Overheard another funny conversation:

Player1: Can we transfer items from old 1.09 characters to new 1.10 characters?

Player2: Not ladder characters.

Player1: (expletive deleted)! How can we get good stuff then?

Player2: You have to fight monsters, and they drop the items.

Player1: (Silence)

:)

EDIT: "overheard", not "overhead"

[Nechtán]

Me : yeah you cant max ms and own all anymore
Me : ms is only useful with godly bows
Me : so i guess you will need a buriza or better
Him : buriza sucks
Me : you are the first person to ever complain that buriza is too weak
Him : wtf noob i have a bow that does 1000 damage
Me : with what skill?
Him : and buriza is only 300
Me : you mean an ith bow?
Him : lol
Him : ith sucks

Sadly, this bastion of legitness died about ten minutes later to a pack of extra strong rogue archers in act 1 normal. I wonder if he even knew what Rust Storm was.

[TriggerHappy]

Mines was a variation of that:

Random level 3: Anyone has good ama stuff?

... Silence ...

Me: The monsters do, now go kill them and take it.

Random level 3: I can't, all i have is **** for wpns!



It's been alot of fun watching people adapt to 1.10 in ladder games without twinking and rushing.

[Occhidiangela]

I just found my second Envy Jewel Last Night, which I put into the second socket of a three socketed hunter's bow. One more and my Merc will rock, four more, two for here two socketed helm and two for here two socketed armor, and we will be uber.

Wheeeeeeeee! I could finally be uber!!!!!!!! After all these years.

I wonder if that will make the hair on the top of my head stop thinning, get me more miles per gallon of gas in my car, and reduce static cling.

[Swarmalicious]

I am one of the blessed who happened upon some really cool people yesterday - one of which was an actual girl, can you imagine? :) - so I can't complain about the pubbie sewage with my usual vigor. There are people out there worth meeting, I must say.

That said, one of my favs from my hours of play was something like:

(In the Arreat Plateau)

him "What are we looking for again?"

me "The Crys passage"

him "I know, but I've always gotten rushed before now. What does it look like?"

me (sigh) "A cave entrance. With snow."



---which isn't all that bad, I know. The thing that really kills me are names like "nigg-killa" (actual name, can you freaking believe it?).

That stuff just makes me want to give up and go live in the woods. Its just the saddest thing ever that people out there, especially kids, feel so unempowered that they need racism to make themselves feel stronger. If that's even the case.... who knows.
Something to live by though, which is our only hope against such thinking:

"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

[kandrathe]

No but you may be satisfied with the extra lilt in your voice, and a new bounce in your step.

I already recycled my rogue for a prayer merc, but I'm having second thoughts. This new guy is an idiot. Many times the entire party is engaged in frenzied combat and are downing red pots like brewskies at a frat party while he's busy running as fast as he can into the wall. My merc is a real dolt.

[Leah_heartsword]

About 3 months ago I went to my friends house to play some LoD. When he logged on his account on his computer he called me ove.

Ricky-"Hey chec this out man." *clicks on Pack*

Me-"HOLY S***!!!" *Pack and stash is filled with about 30 windforces*

Me-"Dude deleate those Windforces now. I don't want you to get banned."

[gekko]

So, I'm just wandering around, doing nothing much. A level 92 sorc comes in, says nothing, doesn't party, whatever.

A few minutes later, she says: "what you mean there like supercows now?"

She left soon after.

gekko

[MongoJerry]

I got in a great party in a hardcore ladder game last night. There were six of us all teamed up who went through all of Act I and Act II. Too bad I died due to a modem disconnect right in the middle of Duriel's chamber. :(

Anyway, this was a great group of players to play with, but there was one funny moment after we'd just killed the Summoner, read the book, took the red portal to the Canyon.

A guy says, "This is the worst part. Searching all the tombs for the right one."

I stared blinking at the statement and waited for the person to say, "lol" or something. Finally, when I couldn't wait any longer, I said, "Um, we killed the summoner, so we know the symbol. The game tells you on the quest screen."

The guy says, "Oh, yeah. That's right..." :lol:

[Brista]

Slightly tangential but this certainly brought a smile to my face:

Player 1: I got full arctic set gonna use it on my zon it roxxx
Player 2: wow, nice!

[Refrigerator]

My favorite line last night, when I finally got the connection sorted out and into a Hard Core game (by then my Variant friends were gone), was the comment of a Paladin in the Cold Plains:

"Man, it's different playing without Map Hack."

WOW! That sounds almost exactly like my first night on 1.10! I had a bunch of connection problems, then in my first game, someone commenting about how different it was without Maphack. Strange how the world works.
:D

[AssA]

I've heard people go as far as "Omg this game sux I can't use maphack" <_<

[whyBish]

It's not just pubbies that are funny... I made a n00b goof last night...
FootSlap, my HC West ladder assn (now 40), had partied two separate times with different players from the A.B. and had complained about hearing their carachter charge (the pala skill), and seeing them move reeally fast. I thought something weird was up until the Necro I was partied with reminded me that those Act5 skeletons charge :P (The fast moving was server updates of char positions I guess)

[Archon_Wing]

This barb yelled at me for taking a plain long bow off the ground that dropped from a monster. -_- And no, he was using javelins at the time.