You Know You're a D2 Addict When....

[Premezilla]

....1. You rush over to Sears to have your clothes repaired because
their durability is low

2. You sell your wedding ring because it doesn't have enough mf

3. Your best friends are pawn shop owners named Gheed, Elzix, and
Jamella.

4. You spend hours chasing woodland animals in order to gain experience.

5. Your wedding vows included "till lag do us part"

6. Your gravestone reads: "(Your name) lvl 78 (he has lost experience)
Death takes it's toll of $32,000

7. Your list of ten things to do before you die includes reaching lvls
90-99.

8. Your friends can't come over because you're transferring items

9. You wonder if you'll get to go to the Pandemonium Fortress after you
die

10. You call your local pest control center because you have a case
of those darn "PK vermin"

11. You scoff at the Harry Potter movies, because you know that it's
not "real" magic. One hydra would teach them all a thing or two!

12. You habitually carry around jars of tomato juice, blueberry jam,
and grape jelly "just in case"

13. You don't speak to your significant other for a week because for
Christmas, they got you a shirt that requires 45 strength to wear when
you obviously only have 43.

14. You routinely check your local used prosthetics store for a leg
that once belonged to Wirt

15. You refuse to go on your family trip to cattle country,
because you feel you 'just aren't ready to tackle the cows'

16. Whenever you hear a *chk* sound, you glance around to make
sure you don't get hit by a trap

17. Even though you work in an office 9-5, you brush up on your plumbing, engineering, and diplomatic skills because you want to beef up your synergies

and finally....

17. You wonder when K-Mart (or Wal-Mart) will start stocking yellow,
green, and gold items, instead of those crappy "Blue" light specials.
(Get it? BLUE, YELLOW, GREEN, GOLD? Rarity of items?)


Well folks, I had a pretty good time coming up with these. Feel free to add more, let me know what you think, and if I come up with any more I'll add them. Adios!

[yangman]

18 - When you start YAYKWYADTA thread.

I'll leave it to you to figure out what the acronym stands for. ;)

[Nystul]

Just out of curiosity, did you ever read the humor posts archived here:
http://web.archive.org/web/20000408193227/...2/diahumor.html

Some of the similarities are striking! :)

[Occhidiangela]

You really know you are a D II addict when . . .

1. You still read and post on the Lurker Lounge Armory and Workshop sections.

2. You refer to your next door neighbor, the body builder, as a barbarian and call him Larzuk when you see him in the morning.

3. You examine every rock in your yard to see if it is a Pul rune.

4. You refer to the trunk of your car as your inventory, and your garage as your stash.

5. You exchange your white gold wedding ring for yellow gold, since you don't want to be a cheater and be caught wearing a White ring . . .
(I didn't do that, but a real, legit addict would)

6. You go on vacation to Greece and keep trying to book lodgings on the Island of Philios . . . because it is a home to the Amazons! Yep, wanna do some girl watching on that beach!

7. You still drink a glass of milk right before you go jogging in the morning, so that your stamina stays high . . .

Ciao

Occhi

[Bob]

You try to pay for your groceries in chipped gems, but when you're refused, start muttering about the patch making chippies near worthless

[Premezilla]

Just out of curiosity, did you ever read the humor posts archived here: 
http://web.archive.org/web/20000408193227/...2/diahumor.html

Some of the similarities are striking! :)

Not before, but thanks for pointing it out to me, some of them are geniuinely hilarious!

[Archon_Wing]

- You pick clothes off the ground and wear them
- You expect those clothes to come from critters
- You can carry 5 swords in your backpack but can't use them because you don't have strength
- Someone gives you mean looks and has a knife pointed at you, but you think it's ok because he needs to go back to town to hostile you
- You want to go to hell
- The first thing you think of when you die is, "No my gold and my experience!"
- You think wearing this charm will protect you from being burned
- The first things you say to new people you meet are "wug?" and "asl?"
- You go around swatting flies so you can get enough exp
- You fear cows
- You never talk to people unless they have an exclaimation mark above their head
- When someone tells you to do something, you reply "not enough mana"
- You have a best friend that follows you around, beats people/monsters up for you and inexplicably dies when you do.
- At the funeral, you're not sad because your dead friend can come back for 25,000 gold
- You throw away your wedding ring for a duel leech, resistance one
- You think old people are only good for identifying things

Hey, I tried. -_- :P

[Premezilla]

you had me rolling wif laffter! nice ones!

[Lord_Olf]

you did great! The last one was my favourite... reminded me of the Cain Rap:

"My homeys were destroyed, but I carry on,
with the help of young Anya who's no Amazon"

Nice one, Archon!

And when Occhi goes to Greece, I'll be there to take care of the Ouzo...

Take care,
Lord_Olf

[Lady Vashj]

....When you ask the membership of two different forums and a Yahoo group what's wrong with your HoZ.

[[wcip]Angel]

.. when you better know your characters' names than your friends'.

... when you stop watching pornography ...
....................... :blink:

.. when you see tornadoes on the weather forecast and automatically assume "ahh. Druid."

... when you - at parties - start mixing bloody maries with blue curaceau for that special 'fix-it-all'-drink.

... when you suddenly find yourself conducting the soundtrack from the expansion pack in class.

... when you're desperately trying to teleport into the girls' locker room.

... when you finally have a full command of 1337-speak.

[Premezilla]

....When you quit your job, hobbies, and extra-curricular activities to find your lost Cinematics disk

....When said disk ends up in your second CD drive because you love seeing that Act V townsmen explode into mush?

....When you're on the VIP list at Blizzard functions because your game time alone has generated enough traffic at the battle.net servers that it has become the "hottest place to be seen on Saturday Nights"

....You have your own private "US (Insert realm here) Channel" and can be accessed only by invitation

....The paladin character model bears a striking resemblance to you, down the seemingly-invisible mole near the crease above your right eyebrow

and finally

....When Blizzard mails you the secret of the chat gem.

[swirly]

....When you quit your job, hobbies, and extra-curricular activities to find your lost Cinematics disk

....When said disk ends up in your second CD drive because you love seeing that Act V townsmen explode into mush?

....When you are reading a "You Know You're a D2 Addict When" thread and feel the urge to point out that said act V explosion is part of the expansion and so 1: doesn't have a cinematics disk since there was only one install disk for the expansion 2: that you always have to have said disk in the drive to play anyway and 3: that you believe that particular video is hard coded in some game files.

[NiteFox]

...When you make your own cinematics disc using Bink and Smacker's converters.

Sheesh... <_<

[Zyr]

...when you understand completely why "3. You examine every rock in your yard to see if it is a Pul rune" is infinitely funnier than if Occhi had said Zod instead.

...when you twink each of your new characters 305% MF gear because you just know that, even though it's undocumented and no one has ever posted about it, some day-- maybe even today!-- Coldcrow simply has to drop a TFoS.