Agony at work,

[Alrin]

Sigh. Double Sigh.

I hate my job. Actually no, I loathe the person I am forced to work with.
In September I applied for a job, because being unemployed and still living in a small apartment with your spouse is no holiday. The job was a helper position ( I am not sure of the english title ) where my task was to help a disabled man in his everyday life.
Ok, so I am not exactly trained for this. I am a computer support person, but this was the only thing available in the vicinity. Anyway the job was fairly simple. Help him do his daily things, go exercise, go riding and help him cook, feed his snakes etc. Basic, run-of-the-mill stuff. Also, I am usually very good with people. Easy to talk to and so on. I get along with pretty much everyone.

He has a physical handicap and also brain-damage from a car accident he was in when he was 18 years old.
Sounds fine? It does, doesn't it? Well it's not.
Prior to his accident he was a complete jackass. He was a hooligan, alcoholic and basically a thug. He got "kicks" from going out on the town and beating people to a pulp with those knucklebrass things you have on your hands.

Whenever he is with me (alone) at home or at the exercise he continues to spew forth verbal vomit on me. Its accusations of theft, its bullying about x attribute he decides to pick on that day. It is constant nagging "Is it done yet?" and he is always.. ALWAYS reminding me that I am his slave and he can order me around to do anything he wants. I have tried to speak to my boss, but all I get back is "well, he has brain damage - you have to be more understanding."
Understanding?! He verbally abuses me nonstop every day of the week that I work there! He keep coming up with nonsense tasks for me to do so that I miss my ride home ( I travel by bus ).

Last week alone I worked a Sunday. I was THREE hours late home because I missed the bus. And why? Did he trip and slash the aorta and was forced to rush to the hospital. No. Did he crack his skull open on the table edge? ... Unfortunately no.

He. Was. Combing. His. God. Damn. Hair. FOR FORTY MINUTES!
"You are an idiot if you dont understand its important to get the hair done properly."
Exact words. And why was I forced to sit and watch this man comb his hair?
Because.. <drumroll> I had to make sure he got it right.

*winces painfully* I know. He has brain-damage, right? Right. And he knows how to annoy me. And he had the nerve to sit and smile and laugh at me when he noticed I was in a hurry to get to the bus. He takes actual pleasure of screwing up my day. He calls me at home on the days I don't work, making sure I dont get to relax any. I vomit daily before I go to work now. I have never been this sick before. Physically or mentally.

Here's the kicker though. I can easily quit my job. I can do it right this very moment. No questions asked. However... if I do.. the economic situation will turn grim again. My wife works only part-time and the support I would get if unemployed will be enough only for the extreme necessities in life. Rent, food, bills and thats it.

So my question to you guys is this: ( and you are not the only ones I asked )
Is it worth feeling like crap and having these totally absurd working condition BUT having some money to spend on other material items.. OR.. quit the job, start to relax a bit and start feeling better BUT not have as much money anymore. Atleast until I get a new job?

Right now, the only vent I have for this is playing WoW. I do not want to burden my wife too much so I only talk to her about this when it's extra hard.
After a really bastard-like day I usually blow off some rage at Counter Strike:Source.

Thoughts? Anyone been in this/a similar position?

Regards, a troubled Alrin.

ps: Oh and sorry for the long read, but such is the nature of venting posts.

[Occhidiangela]

Sigh. Double Sigh.

I hate my job. Actually no, I loathe the person I am forced to work with.
In September I applied for a job, because being unemployed and still living in a small apartment with your spouse is no holiday. The job was a helper position ( I am not sure of the english title ) where my task was to help a disabled man in his everyday life.
Ok, so I am not exactly trained for this. I am a computer support person, but this was the only thing available in the vicinity. Anyway the job was fairly simple. Help him do his daily things, go exercise, go riding and help him cook, feed his snakes etc. Basic, run-of-the-mill stuff. Also, I am usually very good with people. Easy to talk to and so on. I get along with pretty much everyone.

He has a physical handicap and also brain-damage from a car accident he was in when he was 18 years old.
Sounds fine? It does, doesn't it? Well it's not.
Prior to his accident he was a complete jackass. He was a hooligan, alcoholic and basically a thug. He got "kicks" from going out on the town and beating people to a pulp with those knucklebrass things you have on your hands.

Whenever he is with me (alone) at home or at the exercise he continues to spew forth verbal vomit on me. Its accusations of theft, its bullying about x attribute he decides to pick on that day. It is constant nagging "Is it done yet?" and he is always.. ALWAYS reminding me that I am his slave and he can order me around to do anything he wants. I have tried to speak to my boss, but all I get back is "well, he has brain damage - you have to be more understanding."
Understanding?! He verbally abuses me nonstop every day of the week that I work there! He keep coming up with nonsense tasks for me to do so that I miss my ride home ( I travel by bus ).

Last week alone I worked a Sunday. I was THREE hours late home because I missed the bus. And why? Did he trip and slash the aorta and was forced to rush to the hospital. No. Did he crack his skull open on the table edge? ... Unfortunately no.

He. Was. Combing. His. God. Damn. Hair. FOR FORTY MINUTES!
"You are an idiot if you dont understand its important to get the hair done properly."
Exact words. And why was I forced to sit and watch this man comb his hair?
Because.. <drumroll> I had to make sure he got it right.

*winces painfully* I know. He has brain-damage, right? Right. And he knows how to annoy me. And he had the nerve to sit and smile and laugh at me when he noticed I was in a hurry to get to the bus. He takes actual pleasure of screwing up my day. He calls me at home on the days I don't work, making sure I dont get to relax any. I vomit daily before I go to work now. I have never been this sick before. Physically or mentally.

Here's the kicker though. I can easily quit my job. I can do it right this very moment. No questions asked. However... if I do.. the economic situation will turn grim again. My wife works only part-time and the support I would get if unemployed will be enough only for the extreme necessities in life. Rent, food, bills and thats it.

So my question to you guys is this: ( and you are not the only ones I asked )
Is it worth feeling like crap and having these totally absurd working condition BUT having some money to spend on other material items.. OR.. quit the job, start to relax a bit and start feeling better BUT not have as much money anymore. Atleast until I get a new job?

Right now, the only vent I have for this is playing WoW. I do not want to burden my wife too much so I only talk to her about this when it's extra hard.
After a really bastard-like day I usually blow off some rage at Counter Strike:Source.

Thoughts? Anyone been in this/a similar position?

Regards, a troubled Alrin.

ps: Oh and sorry for the long read, but such is the nature of venting posts.
[right][snapback]69892[/snapback][/right]

One word.

1. Saltpeter. In his eggs. Won't hurt him, but will allegedly render him unable to sucessfully mangle the mongoose while he has it in his diet. Since he sounds like a real wanker, that would be an appropriate payback for the personal abuse.

2. Bring a tape recorder. Record the day's conversation. Each day, or only when he really get's pissy. Present it as evidence to your boss that the fellow is not jut brain damaged, but beyond that and quite possibly is a fraud. Hard to say about that last.

3. If this is what it takes to pay the rent . . . hang in there and keep looking for other jobs. As soon as one opens, depart at high speed.

4. Change your phone number and don't let him have access to it. File harassment charges against him with the police every time he calls. That last may be risky, in terms of keeping the position, but quite possibly may be what is required to get his attention.

That's all I can think of.

Occhi

[kandrathe]

Please redouble your efforts to secure a job in your chosen profession. Even if you have to find a volunteer position, try to do something that you would love getting up and going to work for.

And pick up some motivational reading like;
Do What You Love for the Rest of Your Life : A Practical Guide to Career Change and Personal Renewal

The theory here is that if you focus on doing what you love doing regardless of compensation, then at a minimum you are getting more experience in your preferred vocation. Eventually, your dedication and passion to doing what you love will result in the compensation you deserve. Just have faith in your abilities.

Life is too short for you to live in hell, and your girlfriend will agree with me. If she loves you then she would rather you be happy in a small flat rather than miserable.

[Alrin]

Please redouble your efforts to secure a job in your chosen profession.&nbsp; Even if you have to find a volunteer position, try to do something that you would love getting up and going to work for.

Something I would love getting up and going to work for. Hmm..
Problem solving. I love a good puzzle or a decent mind-grind.
As I said earlier, I worked as computer support for Volvo IT in Sweden a couple years ago and that was no doubt the most fulfilling job I have ever encountered.
I absolutely love animals and landing a job as taking care of and/or working with animals would be one of the top things on my list.
And with danger of speaking WoW-speak, maybe picking up some kind of crafting trade.
Art is a passion of mine but I never have time/energy to pursue it. I play the piano and violin but again, energy/time is diminished to the point of zero.

Doing things like metalworking, or perhaps carpentry would also appeal to me. I love seeing results from the effort I put into doing things. But alas, financially that would not be a viable build :shuriken:

Thanks for the replies though, it helps more than you would think.

Cheers,
-Al

[Malakar]

He got "kicks" from going out on the town and beating people to a pulp with those knucklebrass things you have on your hands.
[right][snapback]69892[/snapback][/right]

Sounds like this guy needs a little bit more brain damage, preferably from a beating with brass knuckles. That should fix his hair.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's pieces of *$#@ like this never getting what's coming to them.

[jahcs]

2.&nbsp; Bring a tape recorder.&nbsp; Record the day's conversation.&nbsp; Each day, or only when he really get's pissy.&nbsp; Present it as evidence to your boss that the fellow is not jut brain damaged, but beyond that and quite possibly is a fraud.&nbsp; Hard to say about that last.

3.&nbsp; If this is what it takes to pay the rent . . . hang in there and keep looking for other jobs.&nbsp; As soon as one opens, depart at high speed.

4.&nbsp; Change your phone number and don't let him have access to it.&nbsp; File harassment charges against him with the police every time he calls.&nbsp; That last may be risky, in terms of keeping the position, but quite possibly may be what is required to get his attention.&nbsp;
[right][snapback]69893[/snapback][/right]

I would definitely go with Occhi's advice on these items, as for poisoning his food, while not permanently damaging and very tempting, take the high road. ;) .

Another suggestion: work only your assigned hours. If you are contracted from 7am to 5pm (or whatever) only work from 7am to 5pm. The only reason I would stay late is if your patient or his home were in danger. Advising someone on how their hair looks is what girlfriends, wives, and mothers are for. (Just don't get them all in the same room together :shuriken: .) If he doesn't have any of these, tough. If he needs help combing his hair then help him. If he needs an opinion on how it looks, tough.

Personally, no amount of money is worth a job that makes you physically ill before you even arrive.

If you were in America you might be able to file a claim for hostile work environment and mental anguish, see a psychiatrist, and have your employer foot the bill for the shrink and the lost wages while you recuperate. Maybe the court can squeeze enough out of him for retraining in a new line of work.

[Yrrek]

Sounds like this guy needs a little bit more brain damage, preferably from a beating with brass knuckles. That should fix his hair.
[right][snapback]69904[/snapback][/right]

LOL! I know I shouldn't laugh at that, but oh man that was the right line for this thread! Thank you Malakar! :)

[Lord_Olf]

Hail Alrin,

not a nice situation... not, not, not.

I would advise what jahcs and Occhi already stated: Bring a tape recorder to have some proof of what is going on with this person. Change your phone number so that he "only" annoys you at work, and try to get another job ASAP. And yes, work your assigned hours only.

Having money is nice, but is any amount of money worth wrecking your health, mentally and physically? I think not, and would only hang in there if I absolutely needed the money. Even if I could only afford the bare neccesities without it, I would quit it.

I mean, were not talking about a job that "sucks", but about a job that is very detrimental to your well-being. Also, another thing to consider: If he's already picking on you (or rather, giving you hell), what might be the next step? One day, you might find that he's pressing charges against you for whatever reasons he picked out of the blue sky, just to make your life a little more miserable. Neglect, physical abuse, whatever... and that would be worse than having to financially tighten the belt for some time.

Sorry if I pose as devil's advocate here, I guess you don't want to think about the situation becoming worse than it already is. But it is a factor I would keep in mind, and another good reason to quit that job immediately. Maybe after aquiring some proof of how he's treating you (tape recorder), to have at least something in your hands if things should go from bad to worse... which I hope they will not.

Brain damage is not an excuse for being an asshole.

I hope your situation gets better.

Take care,

Lord_Olf

[Any1]

You have my deepest sympathies.

A person like the one you describe usually cannot be reigned in and controlled by reasoning (from you, your boss, his mother, or the Pope). Violence and other mischief is out of the question. Unfortunately, the only solution is to get away from him. No amount of money is worth the physical and mental anguish you have detailed here. You have a couple of options:

1. Convince your boss that this guy is a sociopath (tape recorder idea), and get another assignment.

2. Quit and look for another job. If you can seriously put 40 hours a week into your job search, it will certainly pay dividend much faster.

3. Stay on, while you look for something else. This will mean more pain. If this is your choice out of necessity, take a long shot, and stand up to this guy. Tell him you will not put up with his behavior and things will have to change (pound the table a few times). I'm not naive enough to think he will have a change of heart. However, most bullys are just cowards deep down, a show of mental strength might temporarily turn the tables.

Good luck to you.

[JustAGuy]

Last week alone I worked a Sunday. I was THREE hours late home because I missed the bus. And why? Did he trip and slash the aorta and was forced to rush to the hospital. No. Did he crack his skull open on the table edge? ... Unfortunately no.

He. Was. Combing. His. God. Damn. Hair. FOR FORTY MINUTES!
"You are an idiot if you dont understand its important to get the hair done properly."

How in the world did he get you to watch him comb his hair? Why didn't you just leave?

Sad to hear that you are in such dire straits. If you can't get by without this job, and I'm talking pay rent and eat food here, then stay with it until you can find another. If you can get by for a month or more, and there is absolutely no recourse within the job, then quit. There are two obvious choices here: change your current situation at work, or find new work.

He sounds like a complete bastard. Could be that he's lashing out at you because of the situation he's in. Beats me, though, I'm no psychiatrist. All I know, from what you've written, is that he's causing you mental, and in effect, physical pain. If I was in your situation, I would attempt to make change, one way or the other, but I wouldn't harm him or anyone else in the process (even if it was untraceable). You don't sound like the type that would assault or poison him anyway.

A change is required. It's your choice as to what to change. Good luck in what ever you decide. I tend to look at bad things happening as some sort of karmic payment. Just consider all the anguish and pain you've gone through as simply "paying your dues". You've got better things coming to you.

[whyBish]

I've never heard of anyone counting their money when on their deathbed.

[Alrin]

How in the world did he get you to watch him comb his hair? Why didn't you just leave?

He did the old "If you dont stay and do what I say I will fire you." routine.
Sadly it worked as I did not have the foresight to see that he was only continuing his abuse. Anyway...

*grins widely*

There has been some change. <clears throat>
I am proud to announce that I have now managed to get paid sick-leave. Atleast 2½ weeks. The most amusing part of that thing was that when I called my employers (who hire me out to this client) they told me that he had decided to terminate my employment there.
Apparently, his faith in me showing up at work had been shaken when it became apparent that I became sick alot recently. (The same sickness I got the doctor to sign on sick-leave for). So he (in his infinite wisdom) decided to let me go and boy am I .. thoroughly PLEASED! I will recieve a full months pay even though I dont have to work the last two weeks after the sick leave ends. (Thanks to an understanding employer).
Also, when that period is up they are going to try and help me start working with a more.. normal client. For this I am extremely pleased, happy beyond belief.

So, the nightmare ends. I am also putting his number(s) on automatic block on the phone so if he calls me, I will auto-ignore him. :)

Cheers,

-Alrin, starting to relax again

[jahcs]

Ah, a mostly happy ending. Congrats Alrin.

[Occhidiangela]

So, the nightmare ends. I am also putting his number(s) on automatic block on the phone so if he calls me, I will auto-ignore him. :)

Cheers,

-Alrin, starting to relax again
[right][snapback]70140[/snapback][/right]

Now that you are through nightmare difficulty, you are ready for Hell difficulty. :D Congrats on making the grade.

Occhi

[whyBish]

There has been some change. <clears throat>

Congrats!

[Lord_Olf]

Hail Alrin,

There has been some change. <clears throat>
[right][snapback]70140[/snapback][/right]

nice to hear that! I hope your job returns to normal...

Take care,

Lord_Olf

[TaiDaishar]

So, the nightmare ends. I am also putting his number(s) on automatic block on the phone so if he calls me, I will auto-ignore him. :)

Cheers,

-Alrin, starting to relax again
[right][snapback]70140[/snapback][/right]

The all powerful squelch is at work yet again against the world's idiots!

Congratulations! Hopefully your next client will be a kind person who loves to give tips :)

[kandrathe]

Congratulations. Hopefully your next client is a human being. I going to suggest that your next assignment might involve a really hot beautiful heiress, but then I realized it would just exchange one torture for another. :) Be careful for what you wish for, sometimes you get it in abundance.

[Alrin]

Congratulations.&nbsp; Hopefully your next client is a human being.&nbsp; I going to suggest that your next assignment might involve a really hot beautiful heiress, but then I realized it would just exchange one torture for another.&nbsp; :)&nbsp; Be careful for what you wish for, sometimes you get it in abundance.
[right][snapback]70226[/snapback][/right]

It maaay also introduce a certain element of tension in my marriage so I will attempt to keep any hot heiresses at bay for the time being. :w00t: