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05-06-2005, 05:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-09-2005, 01:30 AM by Zafarium.)
pazuzu,May 6 2005, 07:33 AM Wrote:Granted. You realized it sooner. However you have yet to realize what is the final exam...
I wish I could type faster with just my left hand, because this is taking forever!
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Granted. You now can type faster with just your left hand. Unfortunately it is only one WPM faster and you now lose the use of your right hand as concentrating on improving your left hand, makes you ignore your right hand, making it shrivel up and die.
I wish this thread was stickied.
EDIT: Stupid typos. I wish typos didn't exist!
Was doesn't equal wish.
I have my own signature. Yay.
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05-06-2005, 05:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-06-2005, 05:59 PM by jahcs.)
Zafarium,May 6 2005, 09:34 AM Wrote:Granted. You now can type faster with just your left hand. Unfortunately it is only one WPM faster and you now lose the use of your right hand as concentrating on improving your left hand, makes you ignore your right hand, making it shrivel up and die.
I was this thread was stickied.
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Your wish has been corrupted by a typo so I will grant the wish exactly as written:
Sometime in recent history you were turned into a piece of thread and placed in a vat of sticky goo.
I wish my customers were friendly and smart.
The Bill of No Rights
The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance. Robert A. Heinlein
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jahcs,May 6 2005, 07:58 PM Wrote:Your wish has been corrupted by a typo so I will grant the wish exactly as written:
Sometime in recent history you were turned into a piece of thread and placed in a vat of sticky goo.
I wish my customers were friendly and smart.
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Poof! Now all your customers WERE friendly and smart and because this contradicts with the Basic Rules of the Universe™ the universe implodes instantly and an alternate universe is created in which all customers are even more horrid and as a bonus, your employer despises you so much that when he sees you foam is coming out of his mouth.
I wish I would never have to shave ever again (oh this is just TOO easy).
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
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TaiDaishar,May 6 2005, 02:16 PM Wrote:Poof! Now all your customers WERE friendly and smart and because this contradicts with the Basic Rules of the Universe™ the universe implodes instantly and an alternate universe is created in which all customers are even more horrid and as a bonus, your employer despises you so much that when he sees you foam is coming out of his mouth.
I wish I would never have to shave ever again (oh this is just TOO easy).
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Granted. You're now preadolescent and will continue to un-age until you reach the point of conception, at which point you disappear and will have never existed.
I wish I had one full tin of every kind of sour Altoids. Little 1.76-ounce tins like they sell them in.
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Lady Vashj,May 6 2005, 12:21 PM Wrote:Granted. You're now preadolescent and will continue to un-age until you reach the point of conception, at which point you disappear and will have never existed.
I wish I had one full tin of every kind of sour Altoids. Little 1.76-ounce tins like they sell them in.
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Granted. You buy it as a specialty item that costs so much that ou would have saved money by buying severlaboxes of regular 1 altoid mixtures.
I wish I was president without having to campaign.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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Minionman,May 6 2005, 01:19 PM Wrote:Granted. You buy it as a specialty item that costs so much that ou would have saved money by buying severlaboxes of regular 1 altoid mixtures.
I wish I was president without having to campaign.
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You are president, and you just learned that 17 different groups are plotting your assassination: tomorrow.
I wish my Senator would answer my letters to her.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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Occhidiangela,May 6 2005, 08:49 PM Wrote:I wish my Senator would answer my letters to her.
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Granted. Every night, hooligans steal your mailbox, so you never get to read the said letters.
I wish that I never saw this thread!
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Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
Swiss Mercenary,May 6 2005, 03:59 PM Wrote:Granted. Every night, hooligans steal your mailbox, so you never get to read the said letters.
I wish that I never saw this thread!
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Granted. Now everyone gets mad at you for letting someone else use your forum name to post in the thread. Since you honestly didn't see the posts, you must not have written them, right?
I wish I was a summoner necro.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 652
Threads: 43
Joined: Feb 2003
Minionman,May 7 2005, 01:37 AM Wrote:I wish I was a summoner necro.
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Granted, you are now a summoner necromancer, although not a very good one, in fact, you downright suck, while trying to raise a mere Clay Golem you somehow managed to create a clone of Rossane Bar which will make your life a living hell with idiotic jokes from her thankfully DEAD sitcom.
I wish I didn't feel so... yucky right now.
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
Posts: 1,034
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TaiDaishar,May 6 2005, 06:39 PM Wrote:Granted, you are now a summoner necromancer, although not a very good one, in fact, you downright suck, while trying to raise a mere Clay Golem you somehow managed to create a clone of Rossane Bar which will make your life a living hell with idiotic jokes from her thankfully DEAD sitcom.
I wish I didn't feel so... yucky right now.
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Granted. You now feel burnt out, which is a vry different feeling.
I wish for 20 more wishes.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 6,430
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Minionman,May 6 2005, 08:46 PM Wrote:Granted. You now feel burnt out, which is a vry different feeling.
I wish for 20 more wishes.
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Granted, but the British Labour party just taxed you for 19 of them, and donated them to the Make a Wish Foundation in a PR blitz to win American support for the Blair government.
I wish I understood Ukranian politics.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
Occhidiangela,May 6 2005, 09:30 PM Wrote:Granted, but the British Labour party just taxed you for 19 of them, and donated them to the Make a Wish Foundation in a PR blitz to win American support for the Blair government.
I wish I understood Ukranian politics.
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You understand Ukranian politics. Than Ukraine changes its name to Penslon, and you're in the dark again.
I wish broccoli tasted good.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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Joined: May 2003
Minionman,May 7 2005, 06:25 PM Wrote:I wish broccoli tasted good.
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Granted!
But you find out it only tastes good when grown inside a cow's colon.
I wish... I wish I could hurry up and find out if I will be one of the testers for one of the new prototypes coming out of Smith & Wesson. All this waiting is farking driving me nuts. I keep hearing rumors, I have chewed my fingernails down to nubs.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
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Doc,May 7 2005, 08:00 PM Wrote:I wish... I wish I could hurry up and find out if I will be one of the testers for one of the new prototypes coming out of Smith & Wesson. All this waiting is farking driving me nuts. I keep hearing rumors, I have chewed my fingernails down to nubs.
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Granted, you find out you are not one of the testers due to a disqualification, since one of the criterion is fingernails grown well past nub length.
I wish my garden would be self weeding.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 652
Threads: 43
Joined: Feb 2003
Occhidiangela,May 8 2005, 04:50 PM Wrote:Granted, you find out you are not one of the testers due to a disqualification, since one of the criterion is fingernails grown well past nub length.
I wish my garden would be self weeding.
Occhi
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Granted, your garden is now self weeding, it is now also independent and declares itself to be a country of it's own, tresspassers would be strangled by tomatoes.
I wish I'll have fun in the army which I'm being conscripted to within 2 months
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
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TaiDaishar,May 8 2005, 09:04 AM Wrote:I wish I'll have fun in the army which I'm being conscripted to within 2 months
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Granted, you will have fun, and you'll also have the pee scared out of you more than once.
I wish pizza could be teleported to our house, fresh from the oven, when we phone in an order.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 1,034
Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
Occhidiangela,May 8 2005, 09:50 AM Wrote:Granted, you will have fun, and you'll also have the pee scared out of you more than once.
I wish pizza could be teleported to our house, fresh from the oven, when we phone in an order.
Occhi
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Granted, and it now costs $1,345.99, since those teleporter machines are expensive.
I wish I didn't have to go to any graduation ceremonies, and could just grab a dimploma and walk out.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 6,430
Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
Minionman,May 8 2005, 10:22 AM Wrote:Granted, and it now costs $1,345.99, since those teleporter machines are expensive.
I wish I didn't have to go to any graduation ceremonies, and could just grab a dimploma and walk out.
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Granted. Unfortunately, you grabbed the wrong diploma and there is now a warrant out for you arrest, midemeanor theft.
I wish resoling shoes was more commonly done.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 1,034
Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
Occhidiangela,May 8 2005, 11:24 AM Wrote:Granted. Unfortunately, you grabbed the wrong diploma and there is now a warrant out for you arrest, midemeanor theft.
I wish resoling shoes was more commonly done.
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Granted. Because other parts of shoair are less common, the top parts of your shoes fall apart faster, and you start wishing for more of those.
I wish I could use chopsticks.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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Joined: May 2003
Pity you didn't specify what you wanted to use them for. Seems like the cops are now after you...
I wish my mod had 5000 downloads in one day. :D
Nothing is impossible if you believe in it enough.
Median 2008 mod for Diablo II
<span style="color:gray">New skills, new AIs, new items, new challenges...
06.dec.2006: Median 2008 1.44
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![[Image: cobalt-60.jpg]](http://www.danasoft.com/sig/cobalt-60.jpg)
