"Cleave" is a funny word that has opposite meanings

[DeeBye]

Google definition
# separate or cut with a tool, such as a sharp instrument; "cleave the bone"
# make by cutting into; "The water is going to cleave a channel into the rock"
# come or be in close contact with; stick or hold together and resist separation;

Mirriam Webster definition number one
: to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly

Mirriam Webster defintion number two
1 : to divide by or as if by a cutting blow
2 : to separate into distinct parts and especially into groups having divergent views

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS MADNESS!

I'm about to buy a cleaver from my local hardware guy and I want to be sure it will split a body in two instead of gluing partial bodies together.

[--Pete]

Hi,

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS MADNESS!

Look up ravel and unravel;)

--Pete

[DeeBye]

Hi,
Look up ravel and unravel;)

--Pete

Goddamn you

[Griselda]

My personal theory is that it has to do with cloven hooves. A cloven hoof is a hoof that is:

-divided into two parts
-both parts are stuck tightly together

There ya go. B)

[Nystul]

I wanted to pitch my tent right next to the campfire and stay warm, but I was worried that it might be made out of flammable materials. Fortunately, it says in big red letters that it is made out of inflammable materials, so I guess I will be able to do it after all.

[Alram]

Fat chance or slim chance?

[kandrathe]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS MADNESS!

I'm about to buy a cleaver from my local hardware guy and I want to be sure it will split a body in two instead of gluing partial bodies together.

From the word maven;

"One word is from the Old English cleofian, and means 'to adhere closely and faithfully; cling', as in "to cleave to one's principles." The other word is from the Old English cleofan (with a long "e"), and means 'to split or divide by or as if by cutting blow', as in "to cleave wood," or figuratively as in "that issue will cleave the Republican party." In this case, though the two words were originally distinct, natural language changes have made their forms in Modern English identical, so they appear to be the same word. This is a common process in English, but only attracts much notice when it results in such obviously divergent meanings."

Repress? To hold back, or the press forward again?

[Alram]

To fill out a form you fill it in.

[Xukuth]

Sanction will really blow your mind.

[Doc]

Cleave is also a fancy Biblically Correct term for nookie.

Several men in the Bible cleaved unto their wives... I don't know if that means splitting her open or getting sticky stuck together with erm, glue. Whatever it is, sounds dirty.

Yes Gris, I will behave. This is as far as I go. :wub:

[--Pete]

Hi,

Cleave is also a fancy Biblically Correct term for nookie.

Several men in the Bible cleaved unto their wives... I don't know if that means splitting her open or getting sticky stuck together with erm, glue. Whatever it is, sounds dirty.

Yes Gris, I will behave. This is as far as I go. :wub:

Of course, that only works because the Bible WAS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH!!!!

Damn, for a smart person, you sure do make a lot of stupid claims.

--Pete

[Doc]

Hi,
Of course, that only works because the Bible WAS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH!!!!

Damn, for a smart person, you sure do make a lot of stupid claims.

--Pete

For a smart person, you sure do miss a lot of subtle humour and wry remarks. It is funny because of how it translates in to English. Sorry I had to sit down and hash out the joke for you. Next time, maybe I'll stick to preschool level knock knock jokes or something. Those might be more your speed.

[Griselda]

*blows whistle to stop play*

[Occhidiangela]

*blows whistle to stop play*

Old adage:

"When a woman whistles, the devil dances."

*Waits for Diablo to begin a Conga Line.*

"Don't break my stone
My achy breaky stone . . ."

Occhi

[--Pete]

Hi,

For a smart person, you sure do miss a lot of subtle humour and wry remarks.

You mean twelve year old bathroom humor? I don't miss it, it is not subtle, and I outgrew that phase about the time you were born. I was advanced for 7, more so than you seem for 54.

It is funny because of how it translates in to English.

The equivalent words in Hebrew and Aramaic do not have the double connotation that the English word has because it traces its descent from a different branch of Indo-European. Which fact completely negates the 'joke'. A person educated in linguistics, which I believe you *claim* to be, would know this.

Sorry I had to sit down and hash out the joke for you. Next time, maybe I'll stick to preschool level knock knock jokes or something. Those might be more your speed.

Yeah, please do, since they require twice the wit to produce and to comprehend that your bathroom humor does. But do you really think you are capable of mature humor, or just the crap that passes for 'adult'?

--Pete

PS Sorry, Gris, but that braying needed an answer.

[Occhidiangela]

Hi,
You mean twelve year old bathroom humor? I don't miss it, it is not subtle, and I outgrew that phase about the time you were born. I was advanced for 7, more so than you seem for 54.
The equivalent words in Hebrew and Aramaic do not have the double connotation that the English word has because it traces its descent from a different branch of Indo-European. Which fact completely negates the 'joke'. A person educated in linguistics, which I believe you *claim* to be, would know this.
Yeah, please do, since they require twice the wit to produce and to comprehend that your bathroom humor does. But do you really think you are capable of mature humor, or just the crap that passes for 'adult'?

--Pete

PS Sorry, Gris, but that braying needed an answer.

I take this irrascability as a sign that someone is feeling much better. :D This is a Good Thing™

Occhi

[Hammerskjold]

>The equivalent words in Hebrew and Aramaic do not have the double connotation that the English word has because it traces its descent from a different branch of Indo-European. Which fact completely negates the 'joke'. A person educated in linguistics, which I believe you *claim* to be, would know this.

With all due respect, that's where you are sooooo wrong Pete. It doesn't take a cunning linguist like Doc to figure out that any language other than English is in fact, english in disguise. Sometimes more, sometimess less efficient, but they're all english basically. It's this simple fact that allows me to go to other countries that doesn't speak english, and let's me ask the natives where is the closest McDonald's. When they give me a quizzical look and pretend they don't understand, I just say it at a louder and slower pace. In english. Because sooner or later they'll drop the act and get savy with the program.

As to Doc's original post, I believe the joke was something along the lines of those old shrink vs patients, specifically this one:

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

from http://www.workjoke.com/projoke30.htm The site has animated smiley icons, so the hilarity content must be high!

[--Pete]

Hi,

I take this irrascability as a sign that someone is feeling much better. :D This is a Good Thing™

Occhi

How I wish. The vision, tremors, and strength are improving some. But the attitude, the attitude! This is one 'patient' that is getting very impatient. Both sides of the bed are wrong nowadays, and I just get pissier from there.

What's that old Jewish toast? Ah, yeah, "Next year in Las Vegas!" :w00t:

--Pete

[Vandiablo]

Hi,

Hi,
Look up ravel and unravel;)

--Pete

I found Ravel, he wrote "Bolero", a famous soundtrack. Don't know if they paid him well for it.

Couldn't find Unravel... what kind of music did s/he write? ... (songs for Devo???)

[Vandiablo]

Winner of the Timeforbed Award!!

The Timeforbed Award is given, erratically and irregularly, to the post that best allows a good chuckle so that its readers may advance to dreamland in a positive-attitude state (as opposed to a Blue State*). Unfortunately, it is always awarded Late At Night, so the humor evaluation by the already-inept judge is impaired by a dampened sense of reality, sometimes causing a different effect and perspective once the sun rises.

The Winner is: Hammerskjold!
Roll the clip!

With all due respect, that's where you are sooooo wrong Pete. It doesn't take a cunning linguist like Doc to figure out that any language other than English is in fact, english in disguise. Sometimes more, sometimess less efficient, but they're all english basically. It's this simple fact that allows me to go to other countries that doesn't speak english, and let's me ask the natives where is the closest McDonald's. When they give me a quizzical look and pretend they don't understand, I just say it at a louder and slower pace. In english. Because sooner or later they'll drop the act and get savy with the program.

Gee, why are so many linguists described as cunning???

-V
Activity Coordinator
The Forsaken Inn

p.s. watch your tongue!

*Red States are "positive", because everything there is either positive or negative, and negatives are run off.