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How does Obama keep his staffers on their toes?
He raises the urinals up a couple of feet.
Why wonât Obama laugh at himself?
Because it would be racist.
What do Obama and Osama have in common?
They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
He thought Barry sounded too American.
Why is Barack Obama so thin?
If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.
What is the difference between Biden after Obama picked him and a dead Kennedy supporter?
One was a merry Joe and the other was Mary Jo.
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Quote:What do Obama and Osama have in common?
They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
He thought Barry sounded too American.
...
I didn't realize Republican talking points were "jokes" in that sense.
-Jester
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Hi,
Quote:How does Obama keep his staffers on their toes?
He raises the urinals up a couple of feet.
Why wonât Obama laugh at himself?
Because it would be racist.
What do Obama and Osama have in common?
They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
He thought Barry sounded too American.
Why is Barack Obama so thin?
If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.
What is the difference between Biden after Obama picked him and a dead Kennedy supporter?
One was a merry Joe and the other was Mary Jo.
Yawn. Know any *funny* ones?
--Pete
How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?
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The problem with Obama jokes is that his supporters don't like them and other people can't tell that they are jokes.
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I'll be honest, I don't get any of those.
Delgorasha of <The Basin> on Tichondrius Un-re-retired
Delcanan of <First File> on Runetotem
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Oh I got one:
Q: When Obama heard his friend had been arrested, what was Obama's response?
A: He said his friend was under the Weather. (see below to get joke)
LINK
Quote:Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Local pays for Obama attack ads
BY COLBY FRAZIER
DAILY SOUND STAFF WRITER
Part-time Montecito billionaire Harold Simmons, who contributed millions in 2004 to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth attacks on then-presidential candidate John Kerry, has reportedly spent $2.87 million on ads in Ohio and Pennsylvania that attack Democratic Presidential Candidate Sen. Barack Obama, according to the blog Huffingtonpost.com.
The ads, which are described as âominous-soundingâ by the blog, apparently point out Obamaâs relationship with William Ayers, an Illinois professor who once served on a charityâs board with the presidential nominee and hosted a fundraiser for him 13 years ago.
Ayers was co-founder of the group Weather Underground, which participated in a series of bombings in the late 1960s. According to the blog story, Obama said Ayers, âengaged in detestable acts 40-years ago, when I was eight years old.â
Simmons has a colorful past in Montecito. During a severe water shortage in the area in the late 1980s, the Montecito Water District levied a series of restrictions on water use.
While other Montecitan's adopted conservation practices, the water meter at Simmonsâ sprawling estate continued to quickly spin, despite spending only 10 days a month at the home, the blog said. As a result, water district officials were forced to restrict the flow going into the manâs home and Simmons received a $25,000 fine.
According to the blog, Simmons wasnât deterred by the restrictions, and along with paying to have water trucked onto the property, applied for permits to drill his own well.
"The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self." -Albert Einsetin
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09-03-2008, 03:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-03-2008, 03:21 AM by Taem.)
A Muslim, Christian, and Politician are in a room with senator Obama. First the Muslim asks Obama, "So what do you believe." Obama responds by saying, "I grew up Muslim," so the Muslim smiles, then leaves. Next the Christian goes up to Obama and says, "So what do you believe." Obama responds by saying, "I believe in good, strong Christian values," so the Christian smiles, then leaves. Finally the Politician asks, "So, what do you really believe?" To which Obama responds, "whatever the voters want me to be."
EDIT: My wife just told me a better ending: Instead of a politician, its a non-denomination voter, to which Obama responds: "whatever you want me to be." I like them both.
"The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self." -Albert Einsetin
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09-03-2008, 07:33 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-03-2008, 07:38 AM by FireIceTalon.)
Quote:How does Obama keep his staffers on their toes?
He raises the urinals up a couple of feet.
Why wonât Obama laugh at himself?
Because it would be racist.
What do Obama and Osama have in common?
They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
He thought Barry sounded too American.
Why is Barack Obama so thin?
If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.
What is the difference between Biden after Obama picked him and a dead Kennedy supporter?
One was a merry Joe and the other was Mary Jo.
Pretty lame.
And you can crack all the jokes you want about him, but come Nov. 4th he will more then likely get the last laugh (and yes, I do support him).
https://www.youtube.com/user/FireIceTalon
"Your very ideas are but the outgrowth of conditions of your bourgeois production and bourgeois property, just as your jurisprudence is but the will of your class, made into law for all, a will whose essential character and direction are determined by the economic conditions of the existence of your class." - Marx (on capitalist laws and institutions)
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If Obama does get elected, be prepared for the onslaught of a host of jokes about him.
OK, anyway, We will make the liberals here happy with a McCain joke.
The reason McCain appointed Sarah Palin as his running mate is that he didn't want to ever have to get CPR from Mitt Romney.
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Quote:If Obama does get elected, be prepared for the onslaught of a host of jokes about him.
OK, anyway, We will make the liberals here happy with a McCain joke.
The reason McCain appointed Sarah Palin as his running mate is that he didn't want to ever have to get CPR from Mitt Romney.
It's still not funny.
Trade yourself in for the perfect one. No one needs to know that you feel you've been ruined!
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Every time I look at McCain, I'm waiting for the chest burster trapped in the side of his face to come out and take over.
I know that is probably mean and callous, and picking on someones insecurity (he is hardly ever photographed to show it), but it's all I think about when I see him.
nobody ever slaughtered an entire school with a smart phone and a twitter account – they have, however, toppled governments. - Jim Wright
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Quote:If Obama does get elected, be prepared for the onslaught of a host of jokes about him.
OK, anyway, We will make the liberals here happy with a McCain joke.
The reason McCain appointed Sarah Palin as his running mate is that he didn't want to ever have to get CPR from Mitt Romney.
I'm prepared for a host of Obama jokes - I have no problem with that. I just didn't think the ones you posted were very funny. Either that, or they were so clever that they referenced things I didn't get. The walk on water one was slightly amusing.
The McCain joke is mildly funny.
Now, the daily show does funny jokes about Obama (and everyone else, of course).
<span style="color:red">Terenas (PvE)
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09-03-2008, 07:29 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-03-2008, 08:28 PM by Jester.)
Quote:I'm prepared for a host of Obama jokes - I have no problem with that. I just didn't think the ones you posted were very funny. Either that, or they were so clever that they referenced things I didn't get. The walk on water one was slightly amusing.
The references are there in several of them. As I said earlier, they're mostly Republican talking points.
Quote:How does Obama keep his staffers on their toes?
He raises the urinals up a couple of feet.
Generic joke. Could have been said about anyone. No political message here.
Quote:Why wonât Obama laugh at himself?
Because it would be racist.
Basic laugh at political correctness. Nyuk nyuk, the left has no sense of humor, isn't it hilariously absurd.
Quote:What do Obama and Osama have in common?
They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
There appears to be no joke here. There are, however, three talking points: One, link Obama and Osama as often as possible. The one letter difference is a gift. Two, imply (but do not state) that Obama is a terrorist. Three, remind people of the (largely irrelevant) link between Obama and Bill Ayers and the Weather Underground.
Quote:Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
He thought Barry sounded too American.
There is also no joke here, just a talking point: Obama is very foreign, and not Apple-pie-American like the rest of us normal folks. Scary scary. (Edit: Also not correct, as Obama's name has always been Barack, and "Barry" was a nickname. However, the "joke" needs to imply that Obama does not *want* to be American, reinforcing the talking point.)
Quote:Why is Barack Obama so thin?
If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.
The joke is that Obama is seen as the messiah. Funny enough concept, Jon Stewart did it better.
Quote:What is the difference between Biden after Obama picked him and a dead Kennedy supporter?
One was a merry Joe and the other was Mary Jo.
Ah, Chappaquiddick. 40 year old Ted Kennedy joke. (Still) funny only if you already hate Ted Kennedy, and even then, not an Obama joke, but a repurposed (grim) Kennedy joke.
-Jester
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Quote:What is the difference between Biden after Obama picked him and a dead Kennedy supporter?
One was a merry Joe and the other was Mary Jo.
You mean dead Kennedy's fan?
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Quote:The problem with Obama jokes is that his supporters don't like them and other people can't tell that they are jokes.
Best joke so far.
With great power comes the great need to blame other people.
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09-09-2008, 07:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-09-2008, 07:02 PM by Occhidiangela.)
Quote: The references are there in several of them. As I said earlier, they're mostly Republican talking points.
Generic joke. Could have been said about anyone. No political message here.
So, Jester, what's your dog in this fight? Nobody named Harper is involved.
Quote:Ah, Chappaquiddick. 40 year old Ted Kennedy joke. (Still) funny only if you already hate Ted Kennedy, and even then, not an Obama joke, but a repurposed (grim) Kennedy joke.
If Ted Kennedy hadn't spent so much of his life and career making himself a laughing stock, maybe the Ted Kennedy jokes wouldn't grow in such fertile soil. For you to be an apologist for an elitist, filthy rich, not particularly bright American pol is curious.
So, again, what's your dog in this fight?
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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Why should Obama have picked Nader as a running mate?
Because then he could be the Obamanader!
Probably works better in person, but I laughed when I heard it.
Delgorasha of <The Basin> on Tichondrius Un-re-retired
Delcanan of <First File> on Runetotem
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Quote:Why should Obama have picked Nader as a running mate?
Because then he could be the Obamanader!
Probably works better in person, but I laughed when I heard it.
My friend (Shnuk) was telling me that there is (at least in his mind) a movement afoot to get Al Franken and Ben Stein to run for President together.
What jaded American voter wouldn't throw away his vote on the Franken-Stein ticket?
Jormuttar is Soo Fat...
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Quote:So, Jester, what's your dog in this fight? Nobody named Harper is involved.
If Ted Kennedy hadn't spent so much of his life and career making himself a laughing stock, maybe the Ted Kennedy jokes wouldn't grow in such fertile soil. For you to be an apologist for an elitist, filthy rich, not particularly bright American pol is curious.
So, again, what's your dog in this fight?
Occhi
National Lampoon did it better. Then Disco came in, and Disco went out. John Lennon got shot, the Berlin Wall came down, and then a couple decades passed. Then this joke gets posted here. What, I'm supposed to laugh uproariously? I just called a spade a spade: Dated, recycled, mean-spirited, boring.
-Jester
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Quote:My friend (Shnuk) was telling me that there is (at least in his mind) a movement afoot to get Al Franken and Ben Stein to run for President together.
What jaded American voter wouldn't throw away his vote on the Franken-Stein ticket?
It would have monstrous appeal. The only problem I see is getting two such egos to work together. Their downfall would be the pride of Franken-Stein.
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