06-18-2003, 02:28 AM
Jester's Picks (after too many RPGs to count)
33: Heads I win, Tails you Lose
Jester sez: Any task you perform prior to the last third of the game will be rendered irrelevant.
54: Zeigfreid's Contradiction
Jester sez: How much damn time did YOU waste trying to figure out what he did? (Colosseum? Apparently nothing!)
56: But They Don't Take American Express
Jester sez: Even games that usually make sense follow this insane little rule. Even ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS accept your money, despite it being mysteriously dated thousands of years in the future.
117: Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Jester sez: This one should be amended to "Absolute Corruption Powers Absolutely". Note this also works in reverse (see: Golbez, Magus), explaining (among others) rule 128.
121: Last Law of Politics
Jester sez: Lucid. The most perfect of all the rules.
127: Ominous Ring of Land
Jester sez: Ever played Actraiser? Yeah, this one has been around forever.
170: Poetic Villain Principle
Jester sez: The agony, the agony! The years of crap, trying so hard to mean something, but failing so miserably! I blame this rule for an entire generation incapable of all but the most ridiculous philosophy.
172 and 173: Adam Smith's Revenge and Adam Smith's Corollary
Jester sez: These apply even if the governments theoretically backing the currencies in question have ceased to exist. Hell, it even applies if the SPECIES IN QUESTION has ceased to exist!
177: In Your Face, Jesus!
Jester sez: I'm hard pressed to think of an exception. I'm not sure one even exists.
For an RPG that manages to break 95%+ of these cliches, play Wizardry 7 (Crusaders of the Dark Savant).
For a game which puts it all into perspective, try Progress Quest.
Jester
33: Heads I win, Tails you Lose
Jester sez: Any task you perform prior to the last third of the game will be rendered irrelevant.
54: Zeigfreid's Contradiction
Jester sez: How much damn time did YOU waste trying to figure out what he did? (Colosseum? Apparently nothing!)
56: But They Don't Take American Express
Jester sez: Even games that usually make sense follow this insane little rule. Even ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS accept your money, despite it being mysteriously dated thousands of years in the future.
117: Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Jester sez: This one should be amended to "Absolute Corruption Powers Absolutely". Note this also works in reverse (see: Golbez, Magus), explaining (among others) rule 128.
121: Last Law of Politics
Jester sez: Lucid. The most perfect of all the rules.
127: Ominous Ring of Land
Jester sez: Ever played Actraiser? Yeah, this one has been around forever.
170: Poetic Villain Principle
Jester sez: The agony, the agony! The years of crap, trying so hard to mean something, but failing so miserably! I blame this rule for an entire generation incapable of all but the most ridiculous philosophy.
172 and 173: Adam Smith's Revenge and Adam Smith's Corollary
Jester sez: These apply even if the governments theoretically backing the currencies in question have ceased to exist. Hell, it even applies if the SPECIES IN QUESTION has ceased to exist!
177: In Your Face, Jesus!
Jester sez: I'm hard pressed to think of an exception. I'm not sure one even exists.
For an RPG that manages to break 95%+ of these cliches, play Wizardry 7 (Crusaders of the Dark Savant).
For a game which puts it all into perspective, try Progress Quest.
Jester