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+--- Thread: "Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." (/thread-11057.html)
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - WarLocke - 06-17-2003
The Grand List of Console Roleplaying Game Cliches
Quite an interesting read. :blink:
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - BobThePumpkin - 06-17-2003
That was great! Well worth a read :D
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - kandrathe - 06-17-2003
ROFL, "The Chocobo Rule" - imagine me doing the Mt. Dew spitake...
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - Elric of Grans - 06-17-2003
Hail WarBlade,
There's a few of them floating about, but it is pretty funny when you think about them: they are sooo true ;)
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - Mirajj - 06-18-2003
...I've often wondered about this one...
"Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - [wcip]Angel - 06-18-2003
Oh man! I wanted to quote the best ones, but I'd end up quoting 90% of the material. That was hilarious. I've only played the Final fantasu-games out of the ones they mentioned, and I recognised almost every single point in it. Brilliant stuff!!
I'm still laughing from some of the last ones. :lol:
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - Jester - 06-18-2003
Jester's Picks (after too many RPGs to count)
33: Heads I win, Tails you Lose
Jester sez: Any task you perform prior to the last third of the game will be rendered irrelevant.
54: Zeigfreid's Contradiction
Jester sez: How much damn time did YOU waste trying to figure out what he did? (Colosseum? Apparently nothing!)
56: But They Don't Take American Express
Jester sez: Even games that usually make sense follow this insane little rule. Even ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS accept your money, despite it being mysteriously dated thousands of years in the future.
117: Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Jester sez: This one should be amended to "Absolute Corruption Powers Absolutely". Note this also works in reverse (see: Golbez, Magus), explaining (among others) rule 128.
121: Last Law of Politics
Jester sez: Lucid. The most perfect of all the rules.
127: Ominous Ring of Land
Jester sez: Ever played Actraiser? Yeah, this one has been around forever.
170: Poetic Villain Principle
Jester sez: The agony, the agony! The years of crap, trying so hard to mean something, but failing so miserably! I blame this rule for an entire generation incapable of all but the most ridiculous philosophy.
172 and 173: Adam Smith's Revenge and Adam Smith's Corollary
Jester sez: These apply even if the governments theoretically backing the currencies in question have ceased to exist. Hell, it even applies if the SPECIES IN QUESTION has ceased to exist!
177: In Your Face, Jesus!
Jester sez: I'm hard pressed to think of an exception. I'm not sure one even exists.
For an RPG that manages to break 95%+ of these cliches, play Wizardry 7 (Crusaders of the Dark Savant).
For a game which puts it all into perspective, try Progress Quest.
Jester
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - WarLocke - 06-18-2003
Quote:For a game which puts it all into perspective, try Progress Quest.
Oh snap!
I need to get back to PQ -- my Greater Gnome Bastard Lunatic is only level 48 or so!
Progress Quest really is cool -- too bad it doesn't have cool particle effects for blazing weapons and stuff.
:ph34r:
- WL
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - SwissMercenary - 06-18-2003
#14 - Garrett's Principle:
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores
#19 - Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - Swarmalicious - 06-18-2003
...and delicious!
Thanks Warlocke :)
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - Kryn - 06-18-2003
Hey, what about Mario! Or Serge! ;)
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - TaiDaishar - 06-18-2003
ROFL, god that was hilarious
Quote:The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - pakman - 06-18-2003
This was great! I started reading it yesterday before I went to work and then class and finished it this morning. I especially love the thief rule. A lot of these are present in the NWN modules that come with the tool set. A lot rings true with Morrowind too (which, btw, is my new favorite game :)). I love walking into peoples houses and pickpocketing their valuables and leaving whilst telling them to have a pleasant evening.
"Cliches, you can't live with 'em..." - Walkiry - 06-18-2003
171. Compression of Time.
Gosh, is that my spleen? Did I ever laugh with that list :lol::lol::lol: