It'll Be Anarchy!

[Doc]

With out meaning to, I have began a great scientific adventure. It has roots in the nature vs. nurture concept, as well as other topics of interest. It's been interesting to me at least, gaining some sort of insight into how much of our behaviour is hardwired and how much is learned.

I recently, as in the third of March, aquired a 4 week old dog. A Cocker Speagle. (Figure it out) A friend down at the humane society called me and said they have a special needs animal. It needed a home ASAP or death would likely result. Not knowing it was a dog, I called up a driver and went down there to check it out. Said doggy was about 4 weeks old. Mother had rejected both of her pups, and, the old lady bottle feeding them died. There was a little girl and a little boy. Little boy had already found a home with a hunter. The female, with no mother figure at all, and, after the loss of her sibling, had just given up. Refused to eat or drink, and would just lay on the bottom of her cage. She had caught pneumonia. One sick little hound. I donate a lot of money to the humane society and I found my self in a very uncomfortable situation. One sick nearly dead puppy, one friend, and several very sad people all looking at me hoping I could do something.

I had tried to explain that I was the crazy old cat hermit. I have cats. Lots of cats. I have collected a large number of cats. (And one fox) A dog in a house full of cats was insanity. Anarchy. All my words were met with terrible sad looks. With much protesting, I had the puppy stuffed into my arms. Puppy looked up at me with her droopy wrinkly face, whined, coughed, and promptly threw up on me. Nobody wanted her, and the shelter simply did not have the resources to care for such a sick animal.

Well crap. How was I going to say no to that? It was a long ride home. Setting puppy in a crate was a bad idea, as she would use what little strength and life force she had left to whine and whimper. Holding puppy was even worse, as she would puke every four minutes like clockwork. Puppy also had the Hershey Squirts. When I got home, I was unclean in the Biblical sense, truly vile.

Home is where the experiment began, with out me knowing.

Major Players.

Tomb Bomb. The Patriarch of the household. Big fat orange tabby. About 10 years old, about 30 pounds, and mean and cranky as I am. The Watcher.

Blue Meanie. A recent resident. An Old Blue Hair that I utterly hated died recently, much to my rejoicing. She was a board member and our hatred was mutual. So much to my suprise, she had left me her middle aged cat in her will along with a note saying I was the most vile beastly cantankerous animal of a man she had ever met in her life, and, being the animal I am, she knew her cat would be in good company. It's been a long time since I have been so flattered. I had no idea she cared for anything other then her selfish withered old self. It's nice to know she thinks highly of me. Blue Meanie is a Russian Blue. She has made her self The Matriarch through right of might. And of late, she had earned the title of "Mommy."

The Spazmanian Devil. A blue munchkin cat. Built like a weiner dog. Short stumpy legs, long slinky body. The Instigator. Resident Anarchist. Evil in a fur coat. Has all of the charm of a constipated wolverine. All must worship her, fear her, and loath her as a dark evil Goddess. She is truly the spawn of Satan and is Daddy's Little Precious. I dunno what all the fuss is about, she is as sweet as candy to me... Perhaps because I am the animal I appear to be and Spazzy has a "Kill all Humans!" fetish.

Ratchet Head. A brain damaged male Ragdoll type kitty. Dumb as a box of doorknobs. Crosseyed. Tongue dangles out contantly, drools large puddles, and is pretty much a stereotypical Idiot. Was hit in head by a hammer by previous owner. Rescued by shelter, then rescued by me. Despite all doubts, he has learned to use the litter box. Plays role of Teddy Bear for puppy, and, he has learned a skill to earn his keep. He licks envelopes for me. (Actually, he just sits there with his tongue hanging out and I carefully run the gum over it, don't want paper cuts. Then I pat him on the head and say what I good cat he is and he gets excited and drools some more.) Nobody seems to want to love him because of his drooling problem. He is "icky" "yucky" "nasty" or somehow undesireable because of his handicap. Company avoids him. Since owning him, I have forgotten what a dry pillow feels like.

Wobbles. My foxy friend. My constant companion. My flatulent comrade in arms. Three legs, no tail, no worries. The Alarm. Should be interesting having both a fox and hound in the house. For right now, Wobbles is the guardian angel. Wobbles yipes and makes strange undescribeable noises when puppy chokes on mucus.

Charity. The Puppy. Wife named her. One sick puppy. Still recovering, getting used to solid food, and the subject of curiousity. Starting to behave like a kitty...

There are other kitties, but they are bit players. They avoid puppy.

First day home. The cats form two factions. One is the Hiders. They flee from puppy. The others are The Borg. They wish to bring Charity into the Collective.

Blue Meanie and Spaz were the ones with First Contact. Spaz hates most everything. I was very worried, but, my house is much like the great plains of Africa. The drama of nature taking it's course. Much to my suprise, Spaz started to clean the puppy off along with Blue Meanie. Puppy was down in her crate with the kitties, she seemed ok, so I took a shower. (Whew) When I got out of the shower, puppy was clean! Very very black. Black black. Even her claws are black. She has webbed toes. Her coat was practially gleaming and Blue and Spaz were cleaning themselves and looking very proud. Ratchet had found a friend that did not mind the drool. (Even the other cats snub him) Charity was using him as a pillow, and he lay there, that stupid vacant look on his face. Tom had come down from my chair at the Command Centre (My desk) and looked in on the pup. He got down in the crate, poked her with his fat paw, mewed up at me for bringing another reject home, and returned to his throne. Wobbles had laid down beside the crate.

And what of the cats? Contrary to evidence of otherwise, cats are not the aloof uncaring creatures that many think of them to be. While some of my cats have secreted them selves away, the foster parents are amazing. Attentive, loving, playful, and warm. Tom moves for no man nor creature. Yet when Charity cries a little to loud for a little to long, he will go over and bump noses and rub his head against her ears. Spaz has curbed her homicidal urges for the time being, and seems to be enjoying some sort of weird sisterhood bond. Blue Meanie has focused her homicidal urges and has become the fierce protective Mommy Kitty. Anybody disturbing the puppy (Other then the wife or my self) finds themselves at the business ends of the hooks of a 20 pound Russian Blue. (That cat packs switchblades) Anybody that knows anything about Russian Blues should know what I am talking about. That cat embodies everything "Cossack." Ratchet has finally found his place in the world as a toy, teddy bear, and comforter.

And now, I have a puppy that thinks she is a kitten. She plays like a kitten, batting stuff around with her paws. She claws the scratching posts. Most amazingly, she has started using the litterbox. Everybody knows that dogs usually eat what's left behind in litterboxes, and, everybody who hears about a dog using the littlerbox is pretty freaked out. She washes like a kitty. She will come up and "mark you" like a kitty, rubbing her head and ears against you. It is both facinating and a little bit weird. The Borg Kitties are remaking Charity in their own feline image. Charity has even started to "purr" which is strange. It's a very low rumbling growling sound. Not a viscious growl. Something she does when she is happy. Charity loves to play String with the other cats. The radio controlled robo-mousie drives her crazy.

Has anybody else encounted a dog that has all of the behaviour patterns of a cat? What am I in for?

[--Pete]

Hi,

Thirty odd years ago I acquired a Great Dane puppy. At that time, due to a few recent litters, I had 22 felines (most of them of the kitten variety). Sam (the Dane) was at first fully integrated into cat society, but eventually his doggishness won out. Other than his preference for communal sleeping, and his mistaken belief that he fit on a lap, no trace of the kitten he had been remained in the 180 lb dog he became.

Not to worry, Doc. Except for possibly being cleaner than the average dog, Charity should do fine. :)

--Pete

[Phyloxerra]

Howdy,

My family had almost the opposite happen Doc. We brought in a foursome of abandoned kittens into a house full of dogs, one of which was a real nasty bitch so to say. Unfortunately one of the kittens pushed the envelope with the one mean dog, and was killed sadly enough. After that we kept the other 3 as far away from her as posible. The other 2 dogs couldn't have been more the opposite. The were the perfect surrogate mothers to the kittens. Cleaning them, watching them and even picking them up and moving them around when they wandered off was what these dogs lived for while the kittens were in our care. When they were about 8-9 months we found familys with loving homes to take them in. I hadn't even thought about them in years now, and thinking of them now brings a smile to my face. Hope you and the battle cats have a great time with the pup.


Scotty

[Mirajj]

...My brother got a Shetland Sheepdog puppy at the same time as his roomie got a kitten. The two grew up together for about a year. To this day (He's about 3 now), the dog still pounces like a cat on stuff. It's good for a laugh. Oh, and he still chases cars, too. Enjoy the chuckles while you can. *S*

[Bob]

We don't have a dog that thinks it's a cat, but we have had a cat & dog in the house for a while now

This is the dog:


and this is the cat:


What we found for the first few months was that the dog (we'd had her for several years before) would keep away from the cat, and the cat from the dog moreso.
If either made a sudden move, the other would dart away, that being a sudden move in itself would send the first one off again, and then it would gegenerate pretty fast, and someone would have to move FAST to restrain one of them (the dog, normally, she's easier to grab - since she has a collar).

But they've gradually got used to each other and accepted each other, and now they happily brush fast each other - infact, the dog became quite protective of the the cat for a while back in the summer when the cat went for wanders into the garden - chasing away enemy cats that ours was shying away from - to the point where the cat wouldn't go out into the garden WITHOUT the dog :blink:
So basically, any friction between them now will go away in a few months (although you'll see improvement within weeks)

Though I suppose this doesn't apply to you, since your cats have accepted the dog as another kitten... anyway.

I tell you what, our dog doesn't eat the leftovers from the cats litter tray, she does help herself to the cats dinner, and then put on a very guilty look. So the cat helps herself to some dog food, and promptly throws up. - look slike we have a cat that wants to become a dog. To our knowledge she's not had much (if any) interaction with other cats, and so could well be following the role-model, er, the dog.
Both the animals are ok with having my nieces poking and prodding them, although the cat tries to flee when she gets the chance (so perhaps she isn't ok with it - she doesn't attack them at any rate)

I want piccies of this ill little doggie (and maybe the other major characters in this) - you could release a trading card game! I can see it now, all the kids trying to get a Spazmanian Devil card, especially a holo one :P

-Bob

[Wiccan]

Doc, please stop your killing me...

I am dog and cat lover to , but your story had my wife thinking i was going to croak from laughing so much about your Borg Cats discriptions.

I am glad you helped a poor soul it shows that people know you can work somthing with little nothing more then little heart.

these are my dogs currently my cats are awol from pic..., cant get the to sit still long enough

[degrak]

Great story, Doc.

Although I like all animals, my best friend was a cat. I like to call him my best friend, but I was always curious of what he thought of me.

He was killed back in 2002. I probably miss him more than anything. Often I try not to think of him, for the memories only bring pain and tears. Then that usually makes me think of other horrid things...

It feels good to have read such a heartwarming story.

[klaptonic]

wouldn't mind seeing an update on this story. wanna see how the borg puppy turned out. Mine started off thinking it was kitten, but later its dog nature finally came out (still has one or two cat trates though)

[Doc]

Update.

After much throwing up, coughing, and deeeeeescusting-ness, I finally have an actual puppy. Many many force fed doses of Clavamox. The sun has finally broke the clouds.

Charity is gaining a little much needed fat. She is recovering from cracked ribs. (Severe coughing caused her ribs to crack) She has a bruised trachea. (Also from coughing.)

She has went through this with all the quiet dignity she could muster... Behaving much like a cat. She is using the litterbox now, potty training has been a breeze. If Charity leaves a tootsie roll or a puddle on the floor, one or several cats will come over and correct her, dealing out several kitty slaps. I have never seen a cleaner or more well behaved puppy... Ever. From day one, it's been all about manners and fitting into the social order of felines. Any stepping out of bounds is met with punishment, some of it harsh. Some of it just bad enough to upset my wife who wants the mean kitties to stop beating up on puppy. Charity went through a nippy playful stage, inspite of being sick. She is cured of nippy stage. Several cats displayed their displeasure at being nipped with a slap... But Sissy Spaz actually laid down the law. Puppy nipped her right on her ass. Spaz somehow kept her claws retracted, but she brutally bitch slapped the puppy into submission with both paws, boxing Charity to the point of crying. And to prove her point on how much nipping hurts, chomped down on puppy's lip. Charity has not nipped anything or anybody I know of since. Wife cried and sniffled a bit during this episode, I had to make her stand back and watch and not step in. Charity had to learn manners some time.

Pete touched on this slightly in his post, but, Charity is the cleanest dog you will ever see. Anything on her fur, anywhere, is cause for alarm. Puke, poop, medication, food, anything on her fur will launch her into a full scale "War Against Filth." Aside from a personal dislike of dirt, she is now a supporter of communal bathing along with the rest of the Borg Kitties. Several of the Hiders have since turned coat now that puppy is behaving better.

By far the strangest of all behaviours is found in playful confrontations. When puppy play attacks, she raises her paw and waves it in the air, much as a cat would when threatening to strike.

Also, there is a overly sugary sweetness in seeing a fox and a hound playing together. Blech. To much. I am far to jaded and cynical to sit back at watch that.