I tried to be a vandal

[DeeBye]

When I was in my teen years, I went through a phase when I thought I was invincible. I mouthed off to my parents and teachers, and I went around looking for trouble to get into. Typical 16 year old boy stuff, I guess.

One Friday night, a buddy of mine procured his mom's Ford Escort for some late-night teen angst shenanigans. We drove around town yelling at girls and ... yelling at girls.

We stopped at McDonald's for some food, and during the stop my Escort-driving friend went to get something or other from his trunk.

"Holy geez guys! I forgot I had this in here!"

He came out waving a baseball bat.

For a bunch of teenaged troublemakers, this was a goldmine. We hit the motherlode. We had a car, a bunch of time on our hands, and a baseball bat. You can guess what came next.

We decided that some mailbox baseball was in order. For those unfamiliar with the rules of mailbox baseball, it basically involves hanging out of the window of a fast-moving car whilst deftly swinging a baseball bat at a mailbox, in a valiant attempt to smash said mailbox. It's nonsensical vandalism, pure and simple.

We set out to find some stretch of semi-deserted country road with a whack of roadside mailboxes. During the trip, we argued over who got to be the first to whack some mailboxes. I somehow won the argument.

In short order, we found a suitable place for our retarded teen vandalism. It was a tiny stretch of road a few minutes out of town. It had some nice looking mailbox targets. We rolled down the passenger side window and I propped myself up on it, waggling the bat in a VERY INTIMIDATING WAY! Those mailboxes were in for a serious beatdown.

The driver gunned it. I picked out my first target.

I waggled the bat. The car picked up speed. I zeroed in on the prize. The mailbox drew closer. I told myself, "whatever you do, don't miss".

I swung. I missed. My follow-through put a hefty dent in my friend's mom's Ford Escort. Oh crap.

The driver didn't seem to notice the sound of his mom's car being dented, and I didn't tell him. The sound was likely drowned out due to the hooting and hollering of the crazy teenagers.

I said, "I missed", and we drove on.

The next target came upon us quite quickly. I readied the bat again, and was determined to hit my mark. If I missed two mailboxes in a row, my buddies would have made fun of me. I couldn't let that happen. Y'know, 'cause I was 16 and stupid.

I lined up the mailbox. I waggled the bat. The car sped up even more. The mailbox came closer and I swung with all my might!

I hit the mailbox dead-on! The mailbox was a one-piece model with the box welded securely to the post, and set in concrete. The baseball bat shattered into a million pieces. My hands, arms, and most of my upper body aborbed a signifant portion of the impact.

The driver saw what happened and said, "Dude, you owe me a new bat"

I never played mailbox baseball again.

[Guest]

Is that a true story.

Thats kind of funny.

Edit: Grammar

[Swiss Mercenary]

Whoa...

That one had to hurt. :blink:

*Crawls back in his cave*

[Taem]

When I was in my teen years, I went through a phase when I thought I was invincible.  I mouthed off to my parents and teachers, and I went around looking for trouble to get into.  Typical 16 year old boy stuff, I guess.

One Friday night, a buddy of mine procured his mom's Ford Escort for some late-night teen angst shenanigans.  We drove around town yelling at girls and ... yelling at girls.

We stopped at McDonald's for some food, and during the stop my Escort-driving friend went to get something or other from his trunk.

"Holy geez guys!  I forgot I had this in here!"

He came out waving a baseball bat.

For a bunch of teenaged troublemakers, this was a goldmine.  We hit the motherlode.  We had a car, a bunch of time on our hands, and a baseball bat.  You can guess what came next.

We decided that some mailbox baseball was in order.  For those unfamiliar with the rules of mailbox baseball, it basically involves hanging out of the window of a fast-moving car whilst deftly swinging a baseball bat at a mailbox, in a valiant attempt to smash said mailbox.  It's nonsensical vandalism, pure and simple.

We set out to find some stretch of semi-deserted country road with a whack of roadside mailboxes.  During the trip, we argued over who got to be the first to whack some mailboxes.  I somehow won the argument.

In short order, we found a suitable place for our retarded teen vandalism.  It was a tiny stretch of road a few minutes out of town.  It had some nice looking mailbox targets.  We rolled down the passenger side window and I propped myself up on it, waggling the bat in a VERY INTIMIDATING WAY!  Those mailboxes were in for a serious beatdown.

The driver gunned it.  I picked out my first target.

I waggled the bat.  The car picked up speed.  I zeroed in on the prize.  The mailbox drew closer.  I told myself, "whatever you do, don't miss".

I swung.  I missed.  My follow-through put a hefty dent in my friend's mom's Ford Escort.  Oh crap.

The driver didn't seem to notice the sound of his mom's car being dented, and I didn't tell him.  The sound was likely drowned out due to the hooting and hollering of the crazy teenagers.

I said, "I missed", and we drove on.

The next target came upon us quite quickly.  I readied the bat again, and was determined to hit my mark.  If I missed two mailboxes in a row, my buddies would have made fun of me.  I couldn't let that happen.  Y'know, 'cause I was 16 and stupid.

I lined up the mailbox.  I waggled the bat.  The car sped up even more.  The mailbox came closer and I swung with all my might!

I hit the mailbox dead-on!  The mailbox was a one-piece model with the box welded securely to the post, and set in concrete.  The baseball bat shattered into a million pieces.  My hands, arms, and most of my upper body aborbed a signifant portion of the impact.

The driver saw what happened and said, "Dude, you owe me a new bat"

I never played mailbox baseball again.
[right][snapback]56942[/snapback][/right]

LOL, nice story but don't expect sympathy. As adults, we've all been vandalized in one way or another and no matter how funny the story is, it's not funny when it happens to you.

I do wonder what reminded you of that part of your life, enough to post it at least? I have a lot of teen stories myself, but I'd be afraid for my life to post them.

[Chaerophon]

You guys were such amateurs... the pros use minivans for mailbox baseball!

They're also best for eggings - everybody piles out, everybody piles in and we're off, with military precision. When I was 14, myself and five friends (who were often up to teenage mischief at the time) got together to egg this grumpy guy who lived down the street from one of the group. Like you, we were way out in the country. We had often egged him in the past. However, it seems that, this time, he was ready for us. With a shotgun. He didn't shoot us, or even at us, but he did shoot into the air.

Needless to say, we left.

Fast.

I don't doubt that he laughed himself to sleep on that night, what with the tripping, the falling, and the evident 'pants filling' that went on as we scrambled back into the van. So much for teenage bravado! :lol:

Being stupid teenagers, it wasn't the last time that we egged someone's house (or a school, for that matter), but it was the last time that we egged that guy.

Doc, you sure you're not Canadian? :D

[Nicodemus Phaulkon]

Doc, you sure you're not Canadian? :D

*blinks* Deebye is, not sure about Doc.

Mailbox Baseball is rather rampant in my rural area. The resulting counter-measures by the mailbox owners have been rather impressive, ranging from steel-clad monstrosities with projecting spikes and enough reinforcement to withstand a nuclear blast to suspended fabric mailboxes constructed of burlap and twine on a hinged support post made from re-bar.

Both seem to do the trick when it comes to avoiding damage to themselves and dissolving any related fun for the vandals.

[Doc]

I would not have shot into the air.

My personal policy is to NEVER waste ammo. If I fire, I expect to hit something. Or somebody.

I would have shot the mini van. :P

Blew out the tires, a good shot or two through the engine, and then I would have called the police to round you up.

And that's if I were in a good mood.

If I were in a bad mood...

Ever had a nurse scrub rocksalt and buckshot out of your ass with iodine and a bristlebrush? It stings a bit! :lol:

Damn. Now I am really curious what a S&W 500 would do to an engine block. I know what a .357 and a 44 magnum will do from personal experience. I need to go out and buy a junk engine and try a few tests.

[pakman]

Did you have paintball guns back in the day? :-P My friends and I used to drive around shooting random people with paintballs while the pressure was at its highest. Or we would set up beer bottles and drive by those while trying to hit them. THen we usually drank more beer so we didn't run out of bottles or cans. Bottle rockets were also another form of enjoyment.

[Nicodemus Phaulkon]

Unfortunately, said response (and precedence in the courts) would have saddled you with criminal charges and a short stint in the local lock-up. All part of that lovely "appropriate response" codicil that binds the hands of citizen and police officer alike.

[Brista]

rofl, that's hilarious Deebye

[Doc]

Unfortunately, said response (and precedence in the courts) would have saddled you with criminal charges and a short stint in the local lock-up.  All part of that lovely "appropriate response" codicil that binds the hands of citizen and police officer alike.
[right][snapback]56975[/snapback][/right]

Hmm. I could probably buy my way out. If not, blackmail works as well. Or call the media and start making a big deal about how I am denied my rights to defend my self and my property. Raise a real stink and get folks plenty angry. I don't know about other places, but here, it's a powder keg. All I would need to do is threaten to drop the match and folks would back off most likely.

Hell Night is coming again. Soon. My least favourite time of the year. Good ol boys in out in pick ups burning crosses in people's yards, raping and even killing good honest folk. Going out and slaughtering farm animals and doing profane things with the carcasses like leaving them on the steps of churches where black folks worship.

Ugh. That's all I needed today was a reminder. :(

[NiteFox]

Or call the media and start making a big deal about how I am denied my rights to defend my self and my property. Raise a real stink and get folks plenty angry. I don't know about other places, but here, it's a powder keg.

It sure as hell didn't work for Tony Martin in Britain.

[Guest]

When I was 12, I was inspired by an old Calvin and Hobbes strip to threaten my mother with a ballon filled with paint, unless she raised my allowance. She tried to push me out of the house, and the baloon exploded over both of our clothes and the computer.

[Chaerophon]

*blinks*  Deebye is, not sure about Doc.

Geez, Nico, I know! I could just picture Doc out in his lawn at 1 in the morning waiting for us :D

[Chaerophon]

That's what I thought :D

[WarLocke]

*blinks*  Deebye is, not sure about Doc.[right][snapback]56964[/snapback][/right]

Doc's a Louisianian, like me - although I grew up in some of the more metropolitan areas of the state (Denham Springs/Baton Rouge, Lafayette) so some of the stories he's related over the years shock even me. :huh:

[Doc]

Doc's a Louisianian, like me - although I grew up in some of the more metropolitan areas of the state (Denham Springs/Baton Rouge, Lafayette) so some of the stories he's related over the years shock even me.  :huh:
[right][snapback]56993[/snapback][/right]

I have lived in Loosy Anna. I am just Southern. Right now I live in South Carolina.

[WarLocke]

I have lived in Loosy Anna. I am just Southern. Right now I live in South Carolina.
[right][snapback]57010[/snapback][/right]

Ah, okay then.

Mmm, my foot tastes good.

[Yrrek]

Ah, okay then.

Mmm, my foot tastes good.
[right][snapback]57038[/snapback][/right]

Do you prefer A1, or Gates with your foot? :D

[Zingydex]

*blinks*  Deebye is, not sure about Doc.

Mailbox Baseball is rather rampant in my rural area.  The resulting counter-measures by the mailbox owners have been rather impressive, ranging from steel-clad monstrosities with projecting spikes and enough reinforcement to withstand a nuclear blast to suspended fabric mailboxes constructed of burlap and twine on a hinged support post made from re-bar. 

Both seem to do the trick when it comes to avoiding damage to themselves and dissolving any related fun for the vandals.
[right][snapback]56964[/snapback][/right]

Never seen Mailbox Baseball, but I have seen the end results of a similar game - Mailbox Picking. That's where mailboxes are hauled out of the ground and tossed in the ditch nearby. Why whack it when you can manhandle it, eh?