ROFL

[TurkeyBeans]

My friend - you know him well - wrote up this guide. It's hilarious. A definite must-read, both for the truth and the humor. http://domainarun.com/writing/lurkerlounge.doc

[Artega]

Interesting. Quite amusing, too.

-Report a moderators post and say they were flaming

Considering that the Lounge is one of few forums where the moderators actually give a damn about what people do and say (by far a good thing - were the DOTA forums alive and kicking, I'd link there to show the opposite end of the spectrum), I think that'd be kinda amusing to see, though I think Lemmy, Griselda, Bolty, and the other mods are a little too intelligent for this to work on them :)

[DeeBye]

Just in case he pulls it off his website, I have preserved the text for posterity.

10/25/04: Started Document, including ‘My History with the LL’, ‘Trolling the LL; tips’, and ‘Links to my Best Work.’



Trolling the Lurker Lounge

My History with the LL

Since February something 2004, to October something 2004, I was a member of the Lurker Lounge. I used my usual account name ‘unrealshadow13’ and proceeded to troll. It was all unintentional in the beginning; I was full of enthusiasm and questions about Diablo II, the Lurker Lounges’ main attraction at the time. I would make several topics each day, and reply even more often.

The Lurker Lounge is a forum held in very high prestige. Improper grammar and internet abbreviations are frowned upon, and it is considered spamming to post more than a few times a day. As I soon learned, the Lurker Lounge is a community of lofty snobs. They look down upon the rest of us internet lamers; intensely so. This was exactly what I was.

Within the first couple weeks of being a member, I received reprimands from two moderators, and a variety of members. I was scolded for being immature and posting too much. I obeyed as much as I could. However, I would usually not go for too long without pissing somebody off accidently.

I would post only in the Diablo II section of the forum; that is to say, none of my comments were related to politics, religion, or any other hot topics. It is impressive to say the least that I UNINTENTIONALLY managed to annoy so many of these geek snobs while only talking about a game.

Eventually I grew bored with Diablo II, so I started using map hack. For easy access, I hosted the hack off my website. I linked to my website from my Lurker Lounge account, and the member named ‘Munkay’ was first to inform me that I blatantly linked to it. Hacking is a big taboo at the LL, and before I could even read Munkay’s message I found myself banned.

I didn’t know I was banned however. I made a new account, and posted under the ‘Suggestion Box’ forum and asked if something was wrong with the forum. Then my IP address was banned; no viewing or posting on any account or logged out form my computer. I couldn’t have that…

I emailed the admin ‘Griselda’ and begged for mercy. I lied like a rug, invented a friend who I claimed was responsible for the hosted map hack. She held a conference of moderators ( lol ) and within a week I found myself unbanned.

This was almost unheard of; she told me as much. She said that I had beaten amazingly high odds in being unbanned, and that should I be banned again, I would have no chance whatsoever of coming back. I had just cheated death, and I liked it…

For the next 6 months or so, I began my campaign of terror. My posts were unintelligent and reflected ignorant opinions. Some of my favorite work included the ‘Gay Marriage’ thread which lasted for many many pages, a thread regarding duped items in which I defended dupers (again went on for many pages), and a thread in September in which I stated that America deserved September 11th.

          Some of my work was less subtle however. I spent the night at the house of two friends of mine (brothers). We stayed up well into the night spamming pictures of Goatse, Tubgirl, and ‘calxing’ peoples posts. It took almost a full 24 hours for everything to be deleted.

Having pissed off a fair amount of people (evident in both their posts and their PMs) I finally found myself banned for a second time, and now there would be no return. Funny thing was, it was a mistake that got me banned; Firefox, with it’s tabbed browsing, got me confused and I accidentaly replied to the wrong topic -_-; So now I write this to help a new generation of trollers annoy pretentious nerds known as ‘Lurkers.’ Just remember not to lose sight; do it for the love, not for the hate.


Trolling the Lurker Lounge; Tips

Trolls of other forums will find themselves banned very quickly if they go about their posting as though it was the battle.net forum. ALL OF THE MODERATORS AT THE LURKER LOUNGE HAVE STICKS UP THEIR ASSES. Remember that; it’s very important. It can be hard to tell what will set a moderator off. (keep in mind that you should make all of your posts in the lounge; pissing people off the in the game sections is rather difficult).

The best way to troll and not get banned is to be ignorant. Making several typos in every post you make is a sure way to set the general community on edge, but don’t go overboard, or else you’ll receive a reprimand. Just a couple per post.

As for the actual posting, make them short at first. Short, and pointless, restating what somebody else has said, but say it less intelligently. Very easy way to piss people off, because not only do the people who have to read your rehashed opinion get annoyed, but the person who posted the original opinion will also find their writing being discredited.

Also, when posting, never reply to the post in which your post pertains. The Lurker Lounge uses ‘threaded viewing’ in which each individual post on a topic is replied to. You are supposed to reply to whichever reply your comment most pertains. Do not do this; instead reply to a random reply and piss of whoever views the forum in threaded mode.

Use the methods of annoyance above to test your boundaries. Once you have a firm grip on your limitations, start making topics about hot button issues and state ‘your’ immature, insulting, but believably stupid opinions. If you don’t get any bites, bump the topic. They hate it when you do that. Note: always make a new topic when you are talking about a hot button issue, even if there is already another thread devoted to that particular issue.

When people attack your opinion, attack them back with the power of feigned ignorance and fuzzy logic. Draw conclusions from shaky details that come from a minority of a political party/religious sect. Talk as if you take certain ‘facts’ for granted. Note: Always reply to the person, not their comment. When attacking somebody, make sure you include their name, and bring in something they said in another topic.

Here is a list of tactics that I used and found most successful for easy reference:


-Make several typos per post

-Make your posts very short

-Repeat your opinion, or the opinion of somebody else who already stated their opinion in the thread

-Abuse the ‘threaded view’ and reply to other peoples comments when you are replying to an entirely different person

-Advocate immature opinions that cannot be backed up

-Make new accounts and spam nasty images/over the top text from computers at some place (libraries, school, work, LAN centers)

-Have a really long signature

-Double, and even triple post a lot

-When replying to something somebody said, be sure to quote their entire post, not just the line your comment pertains too

-Punctuate your comments with 1337 5p34k (leet speak) and common internet words (lol, wtf, etc)

-Always make new topics as opposed to replying to an existing topic

-Bump old topics from WAY back when

-Pretend you are older then you really are; although the LL has some older members most of the community seems between mid teens and up to the late twenties.

-Advocate drastic changes in the government or a common religion

-Talk about things like the Holocaust and September 11th as though they were funny

-Post large images

-Name yourself something obnoxious like ‘The One’ or ‘Black Mamba’

-Edit your posts that get people mad, but subtly, so that when they come back to quote you, you won’t look as bad

-Ask stupid questions about the forum like ‘where is the clock,’ ‘how do I read the rules,’ and ‘how do I pin a topic.’

-Report a moderators post and say they were flaming

-Treat older members like they are noobs, and reprimand them for things

-Call older, respected members of the LL trolls


Links to My Best Work
I’m always unrealshadow13

http://www.lurkerlounge.com/forums/index.p...topic=4062&st=0
a thread in which I promote duping websites

http://www.lurkerlounge.com/forums/index.p...320&hl=deserved
a thread in which I say America deserved 9/11

http://www.lurkerlounge.com/forums/index.p...nions++marriage
very long thread I started on Gay Marriage.

http://www.lurkerlounge.com/forums/index...topic=4515
My second death. A member spent his time finding everything I’ve ever said that pissed somebody off and quoting it lol.

[kandrathe]

Hmm. I guess my initial instincts were correct. He was just scum. It is a person like this that hardens the warm hearts, and turns empathy into a sick joke. This individual is truly sad, and now he can go on to a brief career cheating his company out of money, or lying to women and screwing over his friends. Good luck in the gutter my friend, you have truly earned your position.

Oh, and Mr. Beans (if that is your real name <_< ). I would get some new friends.

[TurkeyBeans]

Actually, he's updating it regularly, so quoting it may leave a very old version.

As for the friends joke....You don't know this man. He is nearly insane. Constant source of entertainment.

[Griselda]

Thanks for the read, but I'm closing this topic. A couple of trolls ago, I made it so that banned people could still read the Lounge (that way, they wouln't miss a thread that explained what had happened to them). I'm sure unreal would like nothing better than to stop by here and see people talking about him.

Let's not give him that pleasure. I know I have better things to do, and I'm sure you do too. Trolls come and go, and aren't something I tend to worry about too much. How about that weather we've been having lately? :P