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Coroner: Arafat Died of Tilex Poisoning
by Scott Ott
(2004-11-11) -- The coroner for the Palestinian Authority today announced that former Chairman Yassir Arafat died from "acute Tilex poisoning," and blamed the CIA and Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service.
"Infidel agents infiltrated Chairman Arafat's personal quarters and sprayed his bathtub with Tilex, a deadly toxin to certain lifeforms," said an unnamed spokesman for the coroner. "We believe the bathtub was poisoned up to two years ago, but Chairman Arafat's exposure came only recently, due to his personal hygiene schedule."
The coroner said his report "ensures Mr. Arafat's status as a martyr, which helps to overcome his shameful legacy as the man who signed a peace accord with Israel."
-A
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That happened to me once. It wasn't very pretty. Tilex is pretty harsh.
My bathroom looks pretty clean though.
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*cough* *sputter* *snicker*
See you in Town,
-Z
"cause...revealed" Those seem like strong words.
You would do well to not be so trusting.
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11-21-2004, 01:11 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-21-2004, 01:17 AM by Rinnhart.)
You must recognize that the death of such a blessed man as Arafat must have been caused by the evil machinations of the Zionist states.
That hurt to say.
"AND THEN THE PALADIN TOOK MY EYES!"
Forever oppressed by the GOLs.
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek
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My sympathies lie 100% with the Palastinian people's cause. However, that man was pretty much a self-centered swindler.
As far as his cause of death...I'm sure it would be used for more bloodshed one way or another.
Signature? What do you mean?
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Ghostiger,Nov 20 2004, 06:05 PM Wrote:"cause...revealed" Those seem like strong words.
You would do well to not be so trusting.
[right][snapback]60610[/snapback][/right]
On the other hand, you would do well to acquire a sense of humor.
-A
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"...a deadly toxin to certain lifeforms"
Sounds more like Spock than the PA. :)
Jester
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Ghostiger,Nov 20 2004, 07:05 PM Wrote:"cause...revealed" Those seem like strong words.
You would do well to not be so trusting.
[right][snapback]60610[/snapback][/right]
*blinks* Man... how many hands is that horse anyway?
See you in Town,
-Z
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Hey, if it's coming from the former Iraqi information minister, it has to be true, no? :P
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Ashkael,Nov 21 2004, 01:51 AM Wrote:Didn't he die of liver cirrhosis? :unsure:
http://dailytelegraph.news.com.au/story.js...storyid=2252003
[right][snapback]60643[/snapback][/right] That depends upon who you want to believe. There hasn't been an official public statement as to the cause of death. His widow has the medical record and will look it over before deciding to make the cause of death known or not.
Intolerant monkey.
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Treesh,Nov 21 2004, 06:50 AM Wrote:That depends upon who you want to believe. There hasn't been an official public statement as to the cause of death. His widow has the medical record and will look it over before deciding to make the cause of death known or not.
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That seems a bit... retarded.
Such an influential piece of information should be a part of public record.
"AND THEN THE PALADIN TOOK MY EYES!"
Forever oppressed by the GOLs.
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek
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11-21-2004, 10:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-22-2004, 07:20 AM by Occhidiangela.)
:P Rinnhart,Nov 21 2004, 03:38 PM Wrote:That seems a bit... retarded.
Such an influential piece of information should be a part of public record.
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Ashock: :D You familiar with the Lance Armstrong jokes running around?
Rinnhart: As I read the journal articles, according to French law, the records are only to be released to family members. What Mrs Arafat chooses to do with the information is entirely up to her. This being the information age, she is probably looking at the angle that yields her the most dough. (EDIT for bad spelling and sentence structure.)
Given the current state of play in Israel, I'd venture to say his demise and its causes has already passed into the realm of dirty politics. No chance for any dignity here.
Ashkael: FWIW, I had heard it was Liver cancer, not cirrhosis. Thanks for the link. (Thanks also for your link, Treesh.)
See Some liver Diseases by Columbia Univ
As I am a betting man, I'd bet against cirrhosis. While it is not exclusively a disease of alcoholics, it is common in that population. Given that Arafat was a Muslim, the odds of him having a heavy enough drinking problem for cirrhosis are slim, though not zero. Not all Mormons swear off tea, not all Muslims actually swear off spirits. :P
Any1: Sympathies for "the Palestinian people?" Don't waste your time. May as well have sympathy for people taken in by a carnival barker.
Dupes and saps for the entire Arab world since about . . . 1948. Sucks to have losers disease, and sucks even harder to have "friends" like the motely collection of Arab princedoms, if you are a "Palestinian" Arab. Won't say it helps to be neighbors with a nation whose daily existence is deemed heresy by a few million Muslims, and who therefore are a bit paranoid in re their existence as a nation state.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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Occhidiangela,Nov 21 2004, 03:15 PM Wrote::P
Ashock: :D You familiar with the Lance Armstrong jokes running around?
[right][snapback]60686[/snapback][/right]
No, I'm not actually. Do tell :)
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Occhidiangela,Nov 21 2004, 04:15 PM Wrote:Any1: Sympathies for "the Palestinian people?" Don't waste your time. May as well have sympathy for people taken in by a carnival barker.
Dupes and saps for the entire Arab world since about . . . 1948. Sucks to have losers disease, and sucks even harder to have "friends" like the motely collection of Arab princedoms, if you are a "Palestinian" Arab. Won't say it helps to be neighbors with a nation whose daily existence is deemed heresy by a few million Muslims, and who therefore are a bit paranoid in re their existence as a nation state.
[right][snapback]60686[/snapback][/right]
Actually, that sounds like they could use some help from somebody.
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11-22-2004, 04:23 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-22-2004, 04:25 AM by Rhydderch Hael.)
Deleted.
Reason: "...Boring conversation anyway."
*shoots console*
Political Correctness is the idea that you can foster tolerance in a diverse world through the intolerance of anything that strays from a clinical standard.
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11-22-2004, 07:14 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-22-2004, 07:16 AM by Occhidiangela.)
Ashock,Nov 21 2004, 05:51 PM Wrote:No, I'm not actually. Do tell :)
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After the recent Tour de France, Lance's sixth, French authorities were on the cusp or stripping him of his title when they found three foreign substances in his hotel room:
A bar of soap
Toothpaste
Deodorant
After the Italian judges sorted that little problem out for them, they were still confounded by two other things with which they were unfamiliar: a spine and a testicle.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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Minionman,Nov 21 2004, 08:33 PM Wrote:Actually, that sounds like they could use some help from somebody.
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True enough. Caveat: The first place to look for help is from within, as in reconsidering the path of denial and hatred for two successive generations. Any sports coach can tell you that changing a losing game plan is a good first step in making a come back.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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Occhidiangela,Nov 22 2004, 12:14 AM Wrote:After the recent Tour de France, Lance's sixth, French authorities were on the cusp or stripping him of his title when they found three foreign substances in his hotel room:
A bar of soap
Toothpaste
Deodorant
After the Italian judges sorted that little problem out for them, they were still confounded by two other things with which they were unfamiliar: a spine and a testicle.
Occhi
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:)
-A
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