An honest review of Constantine

[DeeBye]

I didn't have huge expectations going into this. I don't care much for Keanu Reeves as an actor. I enjoyed the Matrix series based purely on the eye candy. As far as I'm concerned, Keanu Reeves hit his acting peak during Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360486/

John Constantine is a cursed man. He has been to Hell, and now he's trying to buy his way into Heaven.

John Constantine has always seen the demons that walk among us. It nearly drove him insane as a youngster. He attempted suicide, and succeeded ... for a time. Two minutes after he was clinically dead, he was revived. During those brief two minutes he lived out an eternity in Hell. Suicide is a mortal sin. John Constantine knows all too well what Hell looks like, and he doesn't want to go back.

John Constantine is trying to gain favour with the big guy upstairs by excorsizing the demons on earth and sending them back to Hell, but this only makes his situation riskier. He might be gaining a pass to Heaven, but then again he might only be adding to the pissed-off denizens of Hell. Constantine knows this, and is willing to risk everything to avoid returning to Hell.

Okay, enough of the trailer. "Constantine" was a decent enough movie, but for two major flaws. Unfortunately, those two major flaws were the two main actorss -- Keanu Reaves and Rachel Weisz. They sucked. I have never seen a movie in which the actors playing the main characters sucked as much.

Constantine could've been a great film. All of the elements were there. I liked the story, the effects, and the whole theme of it. The depiction of physical Hell was the best I have ever seen. I don't want to go there. I just hated the main actors. I didn't care about them in any way. They were like cardboard cutouts.

The supporting cast was nothing short of awesome, especially the guy who played Constantine's sidekick Chas Kramer (IMDB incorrectly lists the character name as "Chas Chandler" -- it's definitely "Chas Kramer"). The actress who played Gabriel was great, and the guy who played Lucifer was awesome. Why oh why does Keanu have to suck so much as an actor while surrounded by these people?

All in all, Constantine was an okay film. It was nothing groundbreaking, but it could have been. Rent it, don't buy it.

5 stars out of 10

[Zarathustra]

I found the movie enjoyable and didn't take issue with the acting as did DeeBye. Good ol' Ted - *ahem* I mean, Keanu - filled the role of a cynical hero believably. The role didn't call for a good deal of versatility, which fits him as an actor well enough. Rachel Weisz was decent aside from the ease in her belief, but to an extent that could be attributed to the character background. I would have liked to see a more real reaction to seeing demons flying through the night, early on.

I have to agree bigtime with the praise of Peter Stormare, and have yet to see a movie where he didn't do a wonderful job.

Shia LaBeouf filled the sidekick role well, but I can't help but feel it was a typecast rehash of the role he played in I, Robot with Will Smith. Good to see he's still gettin work, though, and hopefully we'll see him stretch his wings a bit in future films.

Tilda Swinton played a deep, complex Gabriel that really drew me in. I could see forethought in her eyes (well, along with some special effects) as she delivered her lines, as if the character had been contemplating them for quite some time.

And finally, the special effects were done well. It was CG that didn't scream out, "look at me! I'm done by a computer!" and helped enrich the movie without being the big attraction.


I'd go higher than DeeBye on this one: 8/10. It was enjoyable, told quite a story, and the end was well done. If anyone does no deem this theatre-worthy, I'd still suggest grabbing it on DVD when it comes out.