03-14-2005, 08:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2005, 09:32 PM by TaiDaishar.)
This is a story of a trip I had from school to a lecture to which only 2 students from the entire school were able to go to as told to a friend of mine over MSN Messanger, hope you enjoy it, at least she said it was hillarious :D
--------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, it started by that our invitations, which were supposed to come by mail did not arrive
Well, no biggie we thought as we called them and they said they'll let us in anyway
So we plan the "trip", being careful of going out an hour earlier than what we thought would be necessary to arrive
As the time of departure comes we go to the gate of our school and to our amazement, the guard asks for a confirmation that we can indeed go out to that lecture
Which was the first time he asked such a thing EVER
Being a nice guy we thought we'll quickly get it and still have a little time to catch the bus we planned to get
Lo' and behold, NO ONE was where they should be
So we traveled across the school for that damned confirmation for half an hour until we found the danged principle that gave us the confirmation and finally, a little annoyed by the whole ordeal, we left school to the bus stop
So, already half an hour delay but we didn't think much of it as a bus quickly arrived when we got to the bus stop
The drive was relatively fine not mentioning the fact it was one bloody hour of incredible waste of time (I hate buses, I consider them a total waste of time)
o.k, we arrived half an hour late to the next bus stop and had to run and run and run trying to find the exact bus stop of our next scheduled bus
And, because that bloody place is organized in such a way you'd think they let a mad kid on crack design, we did not find it in time and had to wait ANOTHER half an hour for the next bus, which, incidentally, is much slower than the one we planned for (adding to the bus driving total hours of time wasted )
Well, we still had an hour to go to the lecture herself, we thought it's o.k as the bus was supposed to get there in half an hour and they also asked to come half an hour before the lecture
Now, you guess what went wrong
The drive did not take less than half an hour as supposed to
It took more than an hour due to a traffic jam because of some work on the road and an infantile officer who directed the traffic as a big drawing of Picasso
So, we arrived 2 minutes after the lecture has started thinking, to our optimistic stupid selves that being 5 minutes late isn't such a big deal
O.k, so where was I?
Oh yes, with our optimistic retarded selves
Anyway, we took 2 minutes to find the place the lecture was in
And then, the most annoying thing happened, due to the fact the place is a huge complex of buildings of around one square kilometers and the fact we did not get the invitation we entered and asked a very profound question
"Now, where the hell are we supposed to go?"
Okay, so we see someone with a backpack thinking she might be going to the lecture as well because she looked like a school student
My friend figured we should follow her and then we'll be there in a jiffy
Now, after 3 minutes of walking after her, we lost her somewhere in that abyss which is called the Weizmann Institute
So, not caring much for the missing unknown guide, my friend again made an excellent assumption of it being in a specific auditorium ( I might be spelling that wrong)
So we go around and directly in front of us a sign which marks the proposed building
So we go in that direction
Now, obviously, that bloody place's paths have no dang logic to them and if the bus stop we had to run through before was designed by a mad baby on crack, this one was designed by a mad and twisted (possibly even sadistic) scientist
So, we go in the road directed and find ourselves in a "snake path" which details that instituteâs progress over the years since around 1948
A bit annoyed by the twisted path when in such a hurry, we move along at a quickened space and arrive to a parking lot without any idea where the target construction is despite of the numerous buildings everywhere
Or perhaps, BECAUSE of the numerous amount of buildings everywhere
Anyway, so we go around a little asking for direction telling us to either ask the guard or check a news board which is close by
We thought a news board would have a little more information about such a thing compared to the guard at the entrance to the institute
O.k, so we walk around to the news board and find absolutely nothing except for someone searching for a roommate (not smoking)...
So there we go, going around the entire building to get to the guard, praying (preying?) he'll know something about it
Obviously, he doesn't have a clue
So he gives us (FALSE!!) directions to a group of buildings which deal with the same topic as the lecture (the Physics block)
So off we go in that path of deceit without luck
Did I mention it's now around 20 minutes after the lecture began?
So, after 5 minutes of walking we got a little tired of the lack of results and we ask another kind soul for directions to the physics block
Finally, we are on the right path to the Physics block and even recognize the stairs the loveable woman has spoken of
So off we go, checking various buildings with perhaps a slight connection to what we needed
We even saw the building of the particle accelerator, which we learnt about a day before in physics class
Anyway, a little excited about such a find (though not quite overwhelmed, remember, 25 minutes AL now, AL = After Lecture Started)
So, straight we go past the exciting accelerator to find our real destination, which, of course, we did not find there
After a quite lucky run into a building with a name that had quite a lot of connection (in our point of view) to the lecture, we asked directions from another dear angel which by pure chance saw a gathering of high school students near a building directly in front from where we entered!
So, mentally blessing her with fortune and happiness to all eternity we head off in the vague directions she gave us (because, quite frankly, we were incredibly lost by that time)
It is now 30-35 minutes AL
So. unsure about the destination we asked a kind man which, as a matter of fact, looked a little on the "high" side
But not before we saw 2 policemen in a police shirt and boxers
I swear to god, they passed us walking relatively fast but not looking in much of a hurry
Which I thought they should be, because obviously someone stole their bloody pants!
Dumbstruck we stood for around half a minute not quite getting what we just saw
It took us around a minute for the brain to digest we're even seeing these... spectacular sights
Anyway, back to the high (way... teehee) man we asked for directions
So, he rambled on about going straight forward and some gate to the right and then continued on his marry way with a small, quite silly, smile on his face
Oh goodie we thought, it's just straight ahead!
So we go straight ahead for 5 minutes and see now dang gate nowhere and start to believe the man was, in fact, stoned
Browsing around a little for the names of the buildings we made numerous zig zags BUT, before that, we saw another policeman on wheelchairs (perhaps trying to catch the shameful exhibits to the police force we saw a few good minutes earlier?)
it's now 40AL
So we go inside and as we go inside I catch a glimpse of cool drinks lying in boxes outside, remembering my deep thirst and my dry throat whom I had forgotten due to the sheer navigational skills I had to employ during the entire ordeal
O.k, we went in and the door guard in there was in a dilemma, whether to let us enter or not, on the one side, there's only around 20 minutes left for the lecture and on the same side, there's a chance we'll interrupt the lecture by going in at the middle
In case you're wondering, there's no other side
So after around 2 minutes of arguing with himself the guard told us to enter in quietly and to dare not disturb the progress of the lecture
Oh, he also entirely ignored my pleas for something to quench my thirst
TA DA!!! We entered the lecture, more than 40 minutes late after PLANNING the entire thing to get there an hour earlier
The lecture was nice and all despite of the lecturer exceeding the limit of "Eh..." one should and can say in a minute
The story ain't over though, almost but not yet!
We went outside after the lecture and for the love of all that is holy, they served (FREE!) drinks and sandwiches
The feeling of something cool and refreshing momentarily allowed my body to forget we're talking about the awful Pepsi until after I have consumed 2 cans of that foul (yet thirst quenching) liquid
We ate a little sandwiches etc' etc' and then went outside (Note - it took us 1 minute to find out the way out, which was also our way inside the complex from the start)
We sat in the bus stop, happy for somewhat being able to not complete the lecture entirely and then, like a final "Screw you!" of fate, the bus we had to take roamed ahead without even stopping because we did not see it coming and heaven forbid the driver shall waste a second of his life to check whether or not passengers wish to come aboard
And another 30 minutes went down the drain waiting for the next bus
THE END (Kinda, the story doesn't end here although the annoying and odd occurrences stopped here)
--------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, it started by that our invitations, which were supposed to come by mail did not arrive
Well, no biggie we thought as we called them and they said they'll let us in anyway
So we plan the "trip", being careful of going out an hour earlier than what we thought would be necessary to arrive
As the time of departure comes we go to the gate of our school and to our amazement, the guard asks for a confirmation that we can indeed go out to that lecture
Which was the first time he asked such a thing EVER
Being a nice guy we thought we'll quickly get it and still have a little time to catch the bus we planned to get
Lo' and behold, NO ONE was where they should be
So we traveled across the school for that damned confirmation for half an hour until we found the danged principle that gave us the confirmation and finally, a little annoyed by the whole ordeal, we left school to the bus stop
So, already half an hour delay but we didn't think much of it as a bus quickly arrived when we got to the bus stop
The drive was relatively fine not mentioning the fact it was one bloody hour of incredible waste of time (I hate buses, I consider them a total waste of time)
o.k, we arrived half an hour late to the next bus stop and had to run and run and run trying to find the exact bus stop of our next scheduled bus
And, because that bloody place is organized in such a way you'd think they let a mad kid on crack design, we did not find it in time and had to wait ANOTHER half an hour for the next bus, which, incidentally, is much slower than the one we planned for (adding to the bus driving total hours of time wasted )
Well, we still had an hour to go to the lecture herself, we thought it's o.k as the bus was supposed to get there in half an hour and they also asked to come half an hour before the lecture
Now, you guess what went wrong
The drive did not take less than half an hour as supposed to
It took more than an hour due to a traffic jam because of some work on the road and an infantile officer who directed the traffic as a big drawing of Picasso
So, we arrived 2 minutes after the lecture has started thinking, to our optimistic stupid selves that being 5 minutes late isn't such a big deal
O.k, so where was I?
Oh yes, with our optimistic retarded selves
Anyway, we took 2 minutes to find the place the lecture was in
And then, the most annoying thing happened, due to the fact the place is a huge complex of buildings of around one square kilometers and the fact we did not get the invitation we entered and asked a very profound question
"Now, where the hell are we supposed to go?"
Okay, so we see someone with a backpack thinking she might be going to the lecture as well because she looked like a school student
My friend figured we should follow her and then we'll be there in a jiffy
Now, after 3 minutes of walking after her, we lost her somewhere in that abyss which is called the Weizmann Institute
So, not caring much for the missing unknown guide, my friend again made an excellent assumption of it being in a specific auditorium ( I might be spelling that wrong)
So we go around and directly in front of us a sign which marks the proposed building
So we go in that direction
Now, obviously, that bloody place's paths have no dang logic to them and if the bus stop we had to run through before was designed by a mad baby on crack, this one was designed by a mad and twisted (possibly even sadistic) scientist
So, we go in the road directed and find ourselves in a "snake path" which details that instituteâs progress over the years since around 1948
A bit annoyed by the twisted path when in such a hurry, we move along at a quickened space and arrive to a parking lot without any idea where the target construction is despite of the numerous buildings everywhere
Or perhaps, BECAUSE of the numerous amount of buildings everywhere
Anyway, so we go around a little asking for direction telling us to either ask the guard or check a news board which is close by
We thought a news board would have a little more information about such a thing compared to the guard at the entrance to the institute
O.k, so we walk around to the news board and find absolutely nothing except for someone searching for a roommate (not smoking)...
So there we go, going around the entire building to get to the guard, praying (preying?) he'll know something about it
Obviously, he doesn't have a clue
So he gives us (FALSE!!) directions to a group of buildings which deal with the same topic as the lecture (the Physics block)
So off we go in that path of deceit without luck
Did I mention it's now around 20 minutes after the lecture began?
So, after 5 minutes of walking we got a little tired of the lack of results and we ask another kind soul for directions to the physics block
Finally, we are on the right path to the Physics block and even recognize the stairs the loveable woman has spoken of
So off we go, checking various buildings with perhaps a slight connection to what we needed
We even saw the building of the particle accelerator, which we learnt about a day before in physics class
Anyway, a little excited about such a find (though not quite overwhelmed, remember, 25 minutes AL now, AL = After Lecture Started)
So, straight we go past the exciting accelerator to find our real destination, which, of course, we did not find there
After a quite lucky run into a building with a name that had quite a lot of connection (in our point of view) to the lecture, we asked directions from another dear angel which by pure chance saw a gathering of high school students near a building directly in front from where we entered!
So, mentally blessing her with fortune and happiness to all eternity we head off in the vague directions she gave us (because, quite frankly, we were incredibly lost by that time)
It is now 30-35 minutes AL
So. unsure about the destination we asked a kind man which, as a matter of fact, looked a little on the "high" side
But not before we saw 2 policemen in a police shirt and boxers
I swear to god, they passed us walking relatively fast but not looking in much of a hurry
Which I thought they should be, because obviously someone stole their bloody pants!
Dumbstruck we stood for around half a minute not quite getting what we just saw
It took us around a minute for the brain to digest we're even seeing these... spectacular sights
Anyway, back to the high (way... teehee) man we asked for directions
So, he rambled on about going straight forward and some gate to the right and then continued on his marry way with a small, quite silly, smile on his face
Oh goodie we thought, it's just straight ahead!
So we go straight ahead for 5 minutes and see now dang gate nowhere and start to believe the man was, in fact, stoned
Browsing around a little for the names of the buildings we made numerous zig zags BUT, before that, we saw another policeman on wheelchairs (perhaps trying to catch the shameful exhibits to the police force we saw a few good minutes earlier?)
it's now 40AL
So we go inside and as we go inside I catch a glimpse of cool drinks lying in boxes outside, remembering my deep thirst and my dry throat whom I had forgotten due to the sheer navigational skills I had to employ during the entire ordeal
O.k, we went in and the door guard in there was in a dilemma, whether to let us enter or not, on the one side, there's only around 20 minutes left for the lecture and on the same side, there's a chance we'll interrupt the lecture by going in at the middle
In case you're wondering, there's no other side
So after around 2 minutes of arguing with himself the guard told us to enter in quietly and to dare not disturb the progress of the lecture
Oh, he also entirely ignored my pleas for something to quench my thirst
TA DA!!! We entered the lecture, more than 40 minutes late after PLANNING the entire thing to get there an hour earlier
The lecture was nice and all despite of the lecturer exceeding the limit of "Eh..." one should and can say in a minute
The story ain't over though, almost but not yet!
We went outside after the lecture and for the love of all that is holy, they served (FREE!) drinks and sandwiches
The feeling of something cool and refreshing momentarily allowed my body to forget we're talking about the awful Pepsi until after I have consumed 2 cans of that foul (yet thirst quenching) liquid
We ate a little sandwiches etc' etc' and then went outside (Note - it took us 1 minute to find out the way out, which was also our way inside the complex from the start)
We sat in the bus stop, happy for somewhat being able to not complete the lecture entirely and then, like a final "Screw you!" of fate, the bus we had to take roamed ahead without even stopping because we did not see it coming and heaven forbid the driver shall waste a second of his life to check whether or not passengers wish to come aboard
And another 30 minutes went down the drain waiting for the next bus
THE END (Kinda, the story doesn't end here although the annoying and odd occurrences stopped here)
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"