How many ________does it take...
#21
How many Diablo's advocates does it take to change a lightbulb?
666 of course.

How many lifters does it take to change a lightbulb?
42. Oh look, I found out the question.

How many h4x0rs does it take to change a lightbulb?
1337.

How many smilies does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, smilies don't change lightbulbs. :shuriken:

How many nerds does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they do everything in the dark.

~Lucky
~Lukki
Reply
#22
Occhidiangela,Apr 5 2005, 06:54 PM Wrote:AH, but you see, I do not subscribe to the chicken little school of home safety.

Risk management is something I exercise.  One does not need two people to do the job if one sets the ladder up correctly, and one repositions it as work progresses.

Falling off of ladders is usually the consequence of incorrect positioning or reaching for an area you should have repositioned the ladder for in the first place.

My two lire

Occhi
[right][snapback]73096[/snapback][/right]

This is without a doubt - my comments were more along the lines of "why be afraid of heights? Its the sudden stops at the end that are unpleasant." :D

And I get yelled at constantly by the wife for not having someone hold the ladder around the house. :)
Reply
#23
How many Blizzard programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's "working as intended."

Sorry, that was mean. Oh well, so is the next one.

How many Blizzard programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, but they'll be done "soon."

How many high school students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to finally give in and one to complain about how he can't sleep anymore.
Reply
#24
How many Petes does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Pete would chide the lightbulb about it being dimwitted and none to bright, ruthlessly cutting it down in public forums.

Where is the old fart anyway? Shouldn't he be better by now?
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#25
How many novelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One thousand. While the good novelist is changing the bulb, the nine hundred and ninety-nine bad novelists are scribbling notes for a new blood-soaked bodice-ripping spy mystery chiller that begins "It was a dark and stormy night; the lighbulb had just gone out...."
Creator of "The Corrupted Wish Game": Rules revised 06/15/05
"It was a quiet day...the kind of quiet that happens just before the entire Sioux nation comes up over the ridge."
[Image: cobalt-60.jpg] Click here for a free iPod!
Reply
#26
How many Vandals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Smash! Kill!!


How many Anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Smash! Kill!!


How many Hulks does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.


:unsure: :P :o :w00t:
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
Reply
#27
Doc,Apr 6 2005, 08:54 AM Wrote:How many Petes does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Pete would chide the lightbulb about it being dimwitted and none to bright, ruthlessly cutting it down in public forums.

Where is the old fart anyway? Shouldn't he be better by now?
[right][snapback]73159[/snapback][/right]

Doc

He is out of hospital, and better, albeit leaving hospital in this day and age hardly means "I am now a full up round." (Mrs Occhi's second child delivery comes to mind as a case where she could have used a few more days to recover . . . HMO's suxors.) My last info indicates that computer and internet antics have not reached a priority trumping other things. He'll rejoin the melee in good time.

Patience, Grasshopper . . . :shuriken:

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#28
Occhidiangela,Apr 6 2005, 04:20 PM Wrote:Doc

He is out of hospital, and better, albeit leaving hospital in this day and age hardly means "I am now a full up round."  (Mrs Occhi's second child delivery comes to mind as a case where she could have used a few more days to recover . . . HMO's suxors.)  My last info indicates that computer and internet antics have not reached a priority trumping other things.  He'll rejoin the melee in good time. 

Patience, Grasshopper . . .  :shuriken:

Occhi
[right][snapback]73226[/snapback][/right]


Sorry, but I disagree - strongly. Hospitals are dirty, dangerous places. They are full of overworked albeit well meaning people. They are REALLY full of dangerous germs - surely you have heard of 'superbugs' by now? And they are dreary to boot.

The safest place to convalesce is in your own home. Pete has Magi - and she will be more vigilant than any nursing staff could possibly be in making sure he returns to full health. :)
And you may call it righteousness
When civility survives,
But I've had dinner with the Devil and
I know nice from right.

From Dinner with the Devil, by Big Rude Jake


Reply
#29

>What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

One lights up when you turn them on, the other shouts, "Don't touch me you oaf! I'm sorry honey I didn't mean that I love you so much NOW GO GET ME A PICKLE AND ICE CREAM SANDWICH!"
Reply
#30
ShadowHM,Apr 6 2005, 04:08 PM Wrote:Sorry, but I disagree - strongly.  Hospitals are dirty, dangerous places.  They are full of overworked albeit well meaning people.  They are REALLY full of dangerous germs - surely you have heard of 'superbugs' by now?  And they are dreary to boot. 

The safest place to convalesce is in your own home.  Pete has Magi - and she will be more vigilant than any nursing staff could possibly be in making sure he returns to full health.  :)
[right][snapback]73232[/snapback][/right]

While it depends on the hospital, I've been in a few, you are probably right that TLC at home, even if one is not a complete "up round," is what a body needs. It's also way cheaper.

Occhi

Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#31
Obi2Kenobi,Apr 5 2005, 01:28 PM Wrote:How many annoying know-it-all students does it take to correct the proffessor by saying that it could be greatly simplified by restating that as (x^2)/2?
[right][snapback]72969[/snapback][/right]
Actually it couldn't. (Look where the parentheses are. It simpliies to 1)

Professor 1.
annoying know-it-all students 0

:P
Reply
#32
How many CEOs does it take to change a light bulb?
We have light bulbs? I don't know anything about that, but I do know that the stock's dipping because of concerns we're getting dark.

How many Division Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
One to approve the project.

How many Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten; six to decide to which organization the responsibility for changing the light bulb properly resides, one to approve development resources, one to approve QA resources, one to approve installation resources, and one to approve monitoring resources.

How many Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four; one to assign each task (after complaining that his team can't handle the extra burden without additional head count).

How many Developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three; one to write the initial light bulb code, one to fix the bugs which prevent it from working at all after the first one gets laid off, and one to fix the minor business-rule bugs that come up after the second one is re-assigned to a different project.

How many QA testers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They don't actually test it anyway; if they did, the damn thing never would have made it to production in this state.

How many Analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, since you have to cover 24/7 monitoring.

How many System Administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Look, it would only take me 2 minutes to fix this freakin' thing if you'd stop making me fill out all these tickets, send out all this e-mail, request all these moratorium exceptions, demanding I create graphs showing uptime and electricity consumption, and pestering me about whether or not we're using the appropriate wattage for our lighting needs!
Darian Redwin - just some dude now
Reply
#33
whyBish,Apr 15 2005, 04:13 AM Wrote:Actually it couldn't.  (Look where the parentheses are.  It simpliies to 1)

Professor 1.
annoying know-it-all students 0

:P
[right][snapback]74032[/snapback][/right]
I don't see how you can get 1 out of that. However, I recently noticed an error, and my correct answer is now
(x^4)/2

Student: sqrt(4)/2
Professor: -|x^2|*0
Reply
#34
Obi2Kenobi,Apr 16 2005, 12:06 AM Wrote:I don't see how you can get 1 out of that. However, I recently noticed an error, and my correct answer is now
(x^4)/2
[right][snapback]74161[/snapback][/right]

It is one. The number on top is the derivative of x squared, the number on the bottom is 2x. the parentheses set off the derivative, so you're not taking to derivative of the whole thing, just the x^2.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Reply
#35
Minionman,Apr 16 2005, 08:57 AM Wrote:It is one.  The number on top is the derivative of x squared, the number on the bottom is 2x.  the parentheses set off the derivative, so you're not taking to derivative of the whole thing, just the x^2.
[right][snapback]74175[/snapback][/right]
I'm not seeing how you get one. Just substitute any number in for d and x (aside from 0). If d=4 and x=3, for example, then you get

(4/4*3*(3^2))/2*3
(1*3*(9))/2*3
27/2*3
81/2
40.5=(3^4)/2
Reply
#36
Im guessing the CALCULUS proff wont even let you in the room.
Reply
#37
Obi2Kenobi,Apr 16 2005, 02:04 PM Wrote:I'm not seeing how you get one. Just substitute any number in for d and x (aside from 0). If d=4 and x=3, for example, then you get

(4/4*3*(3^2))/2*3
(1*3*(9))/2*3
27/2*3
81/2
40.5=(3^4)/2
[right][snapback]74185[/snapback][/right]

Have you had calculus? If you haven't, d/dx is a calculus symbol for the derivative of something in terms of x. The d's and the x aren't an extras variables. d/dx x^2 means take the derivative of x squared.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Reply
#38
Q. How many middle managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. I'm not sure. But the more of them there are, the longer it takes to get the job done.
Reply
#39
Minionman,Apr 16 2005, 02:27 PM Wrote:Have you had calculus?  If you haven't, d/dx is a calculus symbol for the derivative of something in terms of x.  The d's and the x aren't an extras variables.  d/dx x^2 means take the derivative of x squared.
[right][snapback]74188[/snapback][/right]
That would be my confusion. :) *curses at notation* That's the one major problem with learning most of my math outside of school.
Reply
#40
I really doubt you understand calculus if you dont know that. The chances of you having been taught calculus(from a person or a book) with different notation are slim.

Why dont you just be honest and say - "oh I havent learned calculus yet." We know youre young so it what we all would expect that anyways.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)