If Healers Treated Tanks...

[Bolty]

This post cracked me up hardcore on the Blizzard general forum. I know, I know, "a funny post on the Blizzard forums OMGWTFBBQ Bolty is nuts." Borrowed horribly from the original poster, Snowfox, here's the leadoff:

If Healers Treated Tanks the same way Tanks Treated Healers...

We'd...
* Pull when the tank was eating and health was at 10%.
* Spam "omg tank" anytime the mob's health was above 80%.
* Spam "r u tanking?" while we are still alive.
* Refer to tanks as "the tank" instead of by their name.
* Ask for tanks to pull or buff while they were eating.
* Say "omg u r the worst tank evar" everytime they lost aggro.
* Ask the tank to bandage us while everyone was resting up.
* Request a damagemeters report of healing done every minute.
* Reach level 60 faster than them - by soloing the whole way.
* Spam ">> Healing %t, everyone assist now! <<" every pull.
* Think we are doing our job if we are the last one alive.
* Just assume the healer will be the puller.
* DPS with our 2 hander instead of healing.
* Say "use last stand!" or "use divine shield!" anytime they needed a heal.
* Pull by running up to a mob and smacking it with our staff.
* Wave our epeens around saying "my spirit and healing ownz!"
* Say "sigh... can't we skip it?" when they want to kill The Beast or Kirtonos for set items.
* We'd expect Benediction to drop as a book in Dire Maul.
* Constantly whine about how tanks are stuck-ups and how we can't find any.
* Post lists about If Tanks Treated Healers like Healers Treated Tanks. (anyone? anyone?)

Anyone who's ever played in pickup groups (and for those who never do, they can be a way to develop your playing skills, ironically enough) should get at least a chuckle out of this.

Read the whole thread, if you're into that sort of thing, at http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.a...p=1#post3892741

My personal addition to the list:

* Randomly whisper tanks constantly asking them to group, then telling them they're pricks when they say no.
* Immediately kick the tank out of the party if they aren't 100% Protection spec.

Feel free to come up with your own such lists. I can imagine some of you would have interesting ones... :)

-Bolty

[Kevin]

My personal addition to the list:

* Randomly whisper tanks constantly asking them to group, then telling them they're pricks when they say no.

[right][snapback]82500[/snapback][/right]

LOL at the list. :D

However, tanks do get that. Well Gnolack does at least, and I'm not a pick-up group guy. I've been in a few raids with pick-ups but I don't see how I have a reputation outside of Lurkers/CA as a tank. I've gotten whispers that are "R U prot spec? Wanna tank <insert name here>?" as well. I get "we need tank for xxxx wanna come?" and been called names for saying no.

It isn't as bad as a healer (I see what Treesh gets and what I get on Taranna too), but they do happen already. :)

[Gregorius]

My brother was about to go on a LBRS run the other night when the group asked if he was Protection spec (59 human warrior). They turned him down because he was Arms (though he had just gotten MS at level 56 :blink: I should have told him earlier). He said they spent at least two more hours looking for a Protection warrior, and presumably never found one...

I don't know why people treat healers so poorly. I haven't had many such experiences with my druid, but that's because my last three instances were all really weird situations (BFD with 3 priests and a warrior, Stockades with 3 mages and a rogue). But it's much more obvious when a tank is doing his job than when a priest is healing well. When they mess up it's all too obvious. :lol:

[Drasca]

When they mess up it's all too obvious.
[right][snapback]82541[/snapback][/right]

Not when dps is high and mob health is low. Sloppy healing & tanking is overlooked when mobs are dead and you're not the one taking 10% equip loss.

[Gregorius]

Not when dps is high and mob health is low. Sloppy healing & tanking is overlooked when mobs are dead and you're not the one taking 10% equip loss.
[right][snapback]82580[/snapback][/right]

I'm not going to claim experience I don't have, but I don't know of many instances where you can gun down everything. Certainly this was my experience with the Stockades, and given the difficulty of boss fights in RFK it's probably possible, but without coordinated tanking and healing then Archadeus and Herod (who I saw my brother fight. The healer stood up where he was either out of range or out of sight, and couldn't heal the tank) will be horrible.

In low-level instances a good tank will make a healer's job easy. I haven't played in anything higher than Gnomeregan. It rarely occurs to rogues, much less mages/warlocks that the healer is doing their job right because the healer isn't healing them (or if the tank is bad, maybe they are). I'm sick especially of Warlocks putting their life on the line just so they can put out damage a little longer.

Heh, "if healers treated warlocks like warlocks treated healers..."

[Trien]

I'm not going to claim experience I don't have, but I don't know of many instances where you can gun down everything.

I've found this more of an issue once you start hitting the high level instances (Strath, Scholo, etc.), which are pretty much balanced for 5-man groups, but which people like to raid for loot. Perhaps a few of the pulls can still cause trouble for raid groups, but for the most part, with a small amount of coordination, often things just end up getting killed before people start dying.

And, if you happen to have a really well coordinated 10-man group, with solid tanking, healing, crowd control, and damage focus... things are just way too easy...

Oh, and a pet peeve of mine:

Request a damagemeters report of healing done every minute.

I've run into healers (and others) that seem to think being at the top of the 'healing done' list means they are the best healer, and like to see the damagemeters report quite often...

[Quark]

Oh, and a pet peeve of mine:
I've run into healers (and others) that seem to think being at the top of the 'healing done' list means they are the best healer, and like to see the damagemeters report quite often...
[right][snapback]82630[/snapback][/right]

Make sure to tell those healers off :) Especially if you catch them healing fully healed targets. I know when DamageMeteres was knew we would play with the numbers that way, but of course that's just one of the times where we're not taking an overmanned place too seriously. The best healer, for my Rogue, is the cross-healing one that gets a shield off when i have under 1000 hitpoints left :). No healing done that counts in DamageMeters, but the shield gives me just enough time to live.

That said, being at the top of DamageMeters for damage certainly doesn't mean you're the best DPS either. Mages are only near the top if they've been using AoE, and I certainly wouldn't call them "bad" when they've been sheeping and removing curses the whole time. When I go all out damage, I'm sacrificing the stuns which help my party as a whole. I'm spending less time worrying about things like Blind - "let the others take care of adds, my job is to make sure the current thing dies as quickly as possible". It's a style I can live with in raids (until things go horribly wrong), but in 5mans sometimes you simply have to sacrifice something to make your party better.

[Drasca]

I'm sick especially of Warlocks putting their life on the line just so they can put out damage a little longer.
[right][snapback]82612[/snapback][/right]

Lawl. I hope you're joking, because that's blizzard's joke on warlocks. AFAIK, Hellfire is the only ability to suicide (really suicide) with at any time. Useful when you don't have a key to scholomance, but locks sacrifice themselves for power. . . and gain...

Anyway, all the health in the world won't save me if the enemy isn't dead, and soon. Heck, I life tap after I hellfire and grabbed aggro from many enemies (however, this is a sign for everyone else to stun annd or go all out on their damage and aggro abilities like aoe). I have high stamina, I can take a hit, and I trust my healers--keeps them on their toes too.

Timing does help, using single target SB's for 10 seconds, then switching to hellfire after people have grabbed some aggro. Enemies simply get mowed down. In a coordinated guild assault, its a time record-setting slaughter.

When I go all out damage, I'm sacrificing the stuns which help my party as a whole

Yep I agree, I've also made this very comment of damage vs utility in the 'where's the love' thread. Sometimes the utility is needed, and thanked, sometimes you can just blow things away because the game is easy. Quark and I have fun tearing down enemies when we can get away with it.

[bonemage]

So the thoughts that popped into my head upon reading the title were the exact opposite of what was in the body of the post.

I initially thought, well, that would be great. But I'm thinking of my main tank's (Durambar) relationship with his main healer, vor_lord's Necrali. I consider her to be "mine", and I fight with a jealous rage to ensure that no one hurts her, and that no one else needs a heal. I'm good at checking her mana and status prior to starting the next fight as well. So, with that in mind, I got the wrong idea in my head prior to reading the bulk of the post. I know she takes care of me as I take care of her, and we've pulled out wins where I didn't think possible because we work well together. Apparently, there are plenty of warriors (and probably some priests) out there who don't fully appreciate/understand how symbiotic the relationship is. I'm glad I never really do pickup groups after reading that post. Our regular group of 5 is a pretty smooth team, with everyone being careful of grabbing aggro.

So, after reading this, I'm glad I can count on my healer, and I think she can count on me. Also, if we ever need to grab random available players, they can do DPS/util roles rather than MT or MH, as being the MT is where I "get the love." I agree with Bolty, the MT and MH roles to be seem to be the core, and the DPS/util roles are more interchangable IMO, though crucial to a properly run party.

[Brista]

So, with that in mind, I got the wrong idea in my head prior to reading the bulk of the post.

Actually you have the right idea, it's the players being satirised in the quoted post who have it wrong :)