Armed Dolphins Loose in the Gulf
#1
Speaks for itself.

I, for one, welcome our new dolphin overlords.
"AND THEN THE PALADIN TOOK MY EYES!"
Forever oppressed by the GOLs.
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek
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#2
If the story is actually true, what are the chances that the dolphins were wearing their "poison-dart" harnesses and were "locked and loaded" when the Hurricane struck? Even in that remote eventuality why would they go around shooting people, without direct intructions to do so? (I know I'm taking this story way too seriously) :blush:
Signature? What do you mean?
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#3
Any1,Sep 26 2005, 06:36 PM Wrote:If the story is actually true, what are the chances that the dolphins were wearing their "poison-dart" harnesses and were "locked and loaded" when the Hurricane struck?  Even in that remote eventuality why would they go around shooting people, without direct intructions to do so?  (I know I'm taking this story way too seriously)  :blush:
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Dolphins do need to eat, and people are pretty big. :)

Of course, they would probably attack sharks or whales and such before people in that case.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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#4
Ok, send out the sharks with the fricking laser beams on their heads.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
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#5
Minionman,Sep 26 2005, 06:45 PM Wrote:Dolphins do need to eat, and people are pretty big. :)

Of course, they would probably attack sharks or whales and such before people in that case.
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Humans: relatively little hair for a 200-pound land animal. Very tasty for all sorts of nasties that live in deep crevasses or snowbound mountaintops alike.

Be wary of dragons, for thou art crunchy and leeching off XP from my kill. :angry:
Political Correctness is the idea that you can foster tolerance in a diverse world through the intolerance of anything that strays from a clinical standard.
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#6
Rinnhart,Sep 26 2005, 11:59 PM Wrote:Speaks for itself.

I, for one, welcome our new dolphin overlords.
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Wasn't there a Simpsons-episode about this?
Dolphins learned to walk on land, and people were banished to the seas if I remember correctly.

Better get your trunks ready ;)
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
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#7
But the question that we all want to ask is:

How will they fare against sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads?
When in mortal danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.

BattleTag: Schrau#2386
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#8
Depends.. are they terrorist sharks? Remember that these dolphins are anti-terrorist dolphins, not anti-shark ones.

Still, I suppose the laser does give them one up on the dolphins. However, wouldn't excessive use of laserbeams underwater make the surrounding waters boil? The sharks would cook themselves.. I'm no scientist (obviously), but wouldn't be dangerous for laser-mounted sharks to attack while underwater?
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
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#9
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish. :w00t:
The Bill of No Rights
The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance. Robert A. Heinlein
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#10
[wcip]Angel,Sep 27 2005, Wrote:Depends.. are they terrorist sharks? Remember that these dolphins are anti-terrorist dolphins, not anti-shark ones.

Still, I suppose the laser does give them one up on the dolphins. However, wouldn't excessive use of laserbeams underwater make the surrounding waters boil? The sharks would cook themselves.. I'm not scientist (obviously), but wouldn't be dangerous for laser-mounted sharks to attack while underwater?
[right][snapback]90277[/snapback][/right]

Water tends to absorb light energy, and to attenuate it. Not a great underwater weapon.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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#11
Occhidiangela,Sep 27 2005, 09:26 AM Wrote:Water tends to absorb light energy, and to attenuate it.  Not a great underwater weapon.

Occhi
[right][snapback]90292[/snapback][/right]

Lasers are also pretty ineffecient in using energy, but we can ignore that for now. :)
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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#12
This is all a cover up folks. Katrina was artificially engineered by the Navy using their latest WCD (Weather Control Device) so that they could "lose" these genetically altered armed super dolphins. These super dolphins will then be washed towards the coast of Cuba due to Katrina and then proceed with their programmed mission: to kill Fidel Castro.

Once Castro is assassinated, the Navy has the ultimate excuse - "It's not our fault, we lost them during a hurricane." That is assuming that the dolphins are even implicated in the attack. Their armament of choice, the sleep dart, could easily make an assassination appear to be merely an aged old man drowning at sea. And we all know how much Fidel loves to swim. He can't help himself. He's practically dead already.

One can only ask where the bloodshed will end. After the successful assassination of Castro, one can only assume that the use of bio-augmented animal super soldiers will increase. I have just now learned of the CIA's own warrior animal project from an inside source. One cannot even imagine the destruction that an army of these hamsters could wreak on the civilized world. Able to infiltrate almost any "secure" compound due to their size, utterly evil, packing the most advanced weaponry known to humanity, and consumed with the desire to run without actually moving anywhere.

In preparation for the impending destruction of the Earth as we know it due to armies of dolphins and hamsters, I am fighting fire with fire and creating my own small armed force of ultra-loyal hamster killing machines. Those evil CIA hamsters won't be taking this hombre without a fight. Now all I have to do is convince Rachael Ray to come with me so that we can repopulate the shattered husk that was once civilization after the Hamster Wars come to an end and me and my rebel force of knife-hamsters are victoious over the evil CIA-trained hamsters.
--Mith

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
Jack London
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#13
Mithrandir,Sep 27 2005, 07:09 PM Wrote:In preparation for the impending destruction of the Earth as we know it due to armies of dolphins and hamsters, I am fighting fire with fire and creating my own small armed force of ultra-loyal hamster killing machines. Those evil CIA hamsters won't be taking this hombre without a fight. Now all I have to do is convince Rachael Ray to come with me so that we can repopulate the shattered husk that was once civilization after the Hamster Wars come to an end and me and my rebel force of knife-hamsters are victoious over the evil CIA-trained hamsters.
[right][snapback]90342[/snapback][/right]

You will be PWNED by Badgers. Didn't you ever read "The Wind in the Willows?" Badgers conduct serious PWNAGE on all animal warrior pretenders.

And by the way, you completely discounted the legions of lemmings lead by our very own Lemming of Glory. Phear the phanatic Legion of Lemmings, whose battle cry "Cliff, what Cliff? This isn't a Cheers episode!" strikes fear into the hearts of hamsters the world over. :blink:

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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#14
Occhidiangela,Sep 27 2005, 09:31 PM Wrote:You will be PWNED by Badgers.  Didn't you ever read "The Wind in the Willows?"  Badgers conduct serious PWNAGE on all animal warrior pretenders.

And by the way, you completely discounted the legions of lemmings lead by our very own Lemming of Glory.  Phear the phanatic Legion of Lemmings, whose battle cry "Cliff, what Cliff?  This isn't a Cheers episode!" strikes fear into the hearts of hamsters the world over.  :blink: 

Occhi
[right][snapback]90345[/snapback][/right]

I thought Lemmy led the Legion of Greiz... Not over a cliff, but down in to that accursed PIT. Where Occhi left us high and dry.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
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#15
Doc,Sep 27 2005, 08:36 PM Wrote:I thought Lemmy led the Legion of Greiz... Not over a cliff, but down in to that accursed PIT. Where Occhi left us high and dry.
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Sgt Pygmy, aka Lemming of Glory, was a subordinate to the Legion's one and only leader, Doc, as you well know: Greiz is our leader, and we all wish to follow in his exhalted footsteps.

"For the Greater Glory of the Legion"

(and the greater profit of the Great and Glorious Greiz!)

Occhi D'Merc

(PS My Barb in 1.11 Diablo II is GreizMan_Bar. :D Who would have thunk it, eh?)

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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#16
Minionman,Sep 27 2005, 12:28 PM Wrote:Lasers are also pretty ineffecient in using energy, but we can ignore that for now. :)
[right][snapback]90317[/snapback][/right]

Eff the lasers, let's mount some ER-PPCs on those fish! They won't even need heatsinks!
"AND THEN THE PALADIN TOOK MY EYES!"
Forever oppressed by the GOLs.
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek
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#17
jahcs,Sep 27 2005, 08:14 AM Wrote:So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish. :w00t:
[right][snapback]90291[/snapback][/right]

I just saw that movie last night - Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - and when I read this in my head, I laughed so hard outloud my wife thought I had finally lost my mind! :lol:
"The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self." -Albert Einsetin
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#18
Occhidiangela,Sep 27 2005, 10:31 PM Wrote:You will be PWNED by Badgers.  Didn't you ever read "The Wind in the Willows?"  Badgers conduct serious PWNAGE on all animal warrior pretenders.

Meh. WitW reveals only a tiny bit of the all-pwning power of the Badger. Try reading the Redwall series. Since each book more or less stands on its own, you can start anywhere you feel like. I recommend Salamandastron or Lord Brocktree for some of the greatest examples of badgers conducting some pwnage.
Creator of "The Corrupted Wish Game": Rules revised 06/15/05
"It was a quiet day...the kind of quiet that happens just before the entire Sioux nation comes up over the ridge."
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#19
Killer Dolphins, Sharks with frikkin' lasers, next will be the Penguins with rockets strapped to their backs.

I thought that was only a Tim Burton fantasy, until I found this: AGM-119B Penguin Anti-Ship Missile.

It seems that in the "Specifications", the code word for "Penguin" is "helicopter".

-rcv-
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#20
channel1,Oct 1 2005, 01:07 PM Wrote:It seems that in the "Specifications", the code word for "Penguin" is "helicopter".

-rcv-
[right][snapback]90709[/snapback][/right]

Penguin: a Norwegian missile bought by the US Navy as a payback for the Norwegians buying American F-16's, during the 80's. Decent missile, if your aim is to blow up medium sized or small combatants. (Frigates, corvettes, etc.)

The picture on the top row of your link, far right, was filmed at the Patuxent River, MD, Test Range. An old friend of mine was on that shoot during the Operational Test and Eval stage of fielding the Penguin in the US Navy.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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