Answer me this.

[Premezilla]

If a tree falls in a forest, and there is nobody around, does it make a sound?

If a locker slams in an empty hallway, and there is nobody around, does it make a sound?




If a man says something, and there are no women around, is he still wrong?

[Doc]

If a tree falls in a forest, and there is nobody around, does it make a sound?

If a locker slams in an empty hallway,  and there is nobody around, does it make a sound?
If a man says something, and there are no women around, is he still wrong?
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All questions imply nobody, which leads to the assumption that God does not exist, otherwise, He would would be there to hear it. So yes, they would make a sound, assuming God exists.

As for the last question, of course. They'll find out somehow. And make us pay.

[Premezilla]

As for the last question, of course. They'll find out somehow. And make us pay.
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So very true. If not her, then one of her friends.

[Occhidiangela]

If a man says something, and there are no women around, is he still wrong?
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No, for the simple reason that he said it simply and clearly, without adornment or drama. He is right, lucky him, and at least she isn't confused and digging for more detail, since she is off yapping with other ladies about something he said yesterday. :D

[Doc]

Women have more spies than the giant burning eye floating over Mordor.

No matter what you say or do, they will find out.

[Griselda]

If a tree falls in a forest, and there is nobody around, does it make a sound?

If a locker slams in an empty hallway,  and there is nobody around, does it make a sound?
If a man says something, and there are no women around, is he still wrong?
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You know, I don't see anybody making "all men are pigs" type jokes around here. I'm feeling uncomfortable with the amount of jokes and stereotypical comments that are being made about women.

[Guest]

What a medival question.


It always confounds me why people think about that. Metaphysical issues aside - sound is a physical property that alters everything it meets to a tiny degree. For there to be no sound it would break all the laws of physics.

Its weird that people in our modern time, even find the notion of sound being some magical occuarance out side physical rules, to be fun and interesting.

[Doc]

**Hangs head in shame**

**Giggles uncontrolably**

**Regains composure**

**Straight face**

I think the thread about male procreation rights may have caused a bit of tension, and this is just a little steam blowing off.

To compensate, I shall make jokes at male expense, to make the ladies giggle. Heading deep in to PG13 Indiana Jones Thuggee tear your heart out territory.

1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.
22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law
& Sister, after #$%&ing it.
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey.
37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep
in the wet spot.
38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.
39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.
48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.
52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.
53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.
54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.
58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.
59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
61. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything.

[Doc]

You know, the real irony here is, is if Gris scolds me for that. You know, she said something about women being made fun of, and if I get razzed for making fun of the menfolk, it will only go to show that there is no pleasing, er, some folk.



For Gris, who probably has a few gray hairs after dealing with me for so long. I am sorry I remain a constant source of mischief. I am like that one bad kid that the teacher always has to look out for in school.

Please don't make me stay after class to bang the erasers. I'll be good.

[Guest]

Id rather just see a few F-bombs than put up with all these cutesy vaguely adult posts.

[Guest]

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I am sorry I remain a constant source of mischief.

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Thats not true.

[Doc]

Ghostiger, I love you man. I think you need a hug.

Come're little man.

Where you jealous that Gris got flowers and a teddybear, and you didn't? Sorry man.

[--Pete]

Hi,

What a medival question.
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Bravo! I was going to reply, but I have nothing to add to what you said.

--Pete

[Griselda]

Actually, I'd agree with Ghostiger here. If you're sorry for something, usually that means that you'll try not to do it again in the future.

Personally, I'd prefer that we try to avoid the stereotypical in discussions here, regarding men, women, and countless other things. It would be nice to see a little more depth. I'm not tense, and I don't need to blow off steam. But, I think that the overall tone that was set in the other thread made comments like the one in this thread more likely to happen, which is why I spoke up.

Also, I'm not so shallow that I can be swayed by flattery or pictures of flowers or stuffed animals. Once again, I'm trying to avoid the superficial and the stereotypical.

As far as the "problem kids" in my class, I have more than one of them, thank you very much. The difference is, they're children, so I expect that they're still learning how to get along. Adults, on the other hand, need to be responsible for their own actions.

[Rinnhart]

Hi,
Bravo!  I was going to reply, but I have nothing to add to what you said.

--Pete
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Pardon the amateur:

Doesn't observation define reality?

We don't know if the cat's dead or alive, we don't know if the tree is standing or fallen, until it's observed. How can we, with any certainty, assume that "that tree is no longer standing, it produced waves in the atomic medium as it fell" if there was no one to observe the fall or the possible resulting sound?

[[wcip]Angel]

Pardon the amateur:

Doesn't observation define reality?

We don't know if the cat's dead or alive, we don't know if the tree is standing or fallen, until it's observed. How can we, with any certainty, assume that "that tree is no longer standing, it produced waves in the atomic medium as it fell" if there was no one to observe the fall or the possible resulting sound?
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Even if that was the case, I'm sure either a metaphysical creature (God, Nature) or a physical one (the ant that got crushed by the tree) could see (and feel) the tree having fallen, and thus enforcing the notion that a sound has indeed been made.

"Observation defines reality"? What about the stuff we can't observe; aren't those things real?

[Artega]

You know, I don't see anybody making "all men are pigs" type jokes around here.  I'm feeling uncomfortable with the amount of jokes and stereotypical comments that are being made about women.
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So go ahead and let some loose :)

We know there're plenty of em out there, and I imagine there are several I've never heard or read :)

[Yrrek]

Completely off topic, and I apologize, but Artega I love your little description under your avatar. :D

[--Pete]

Hi,

Doesn't observation define reality?
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Yep. And the hypothesis was that a tree did indeed fall -- possibly based on observation after the fact. The question was, "did it make a noise?" Since noise is simply the vibration of air molecules, the answer is unconditionally, "What a stupid question."

It is the same as finding fission products in a sample of uranium. We cannot say if a particular atom of uranium has fissioned or not without looking. But if we find the products, then we know the atom did indeed fission, and we know that it gave off energy when it did.

Not everything is totally weird, even given quantum theories.

-Pete

[DeeBye]

The question was, "did it make a noise?"  Since noise is simply the vibration of air molecules, the answer is unconditionally, "What a stupid question."
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I was once told by a physics professor that vibrating air molecules cannot be described as "sound" or "noise" until they come into contact with something that can relay an auditory sensation (ie. eardrums or a microphone). The way it was described to me was that a tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it produces vibrating air molecules, but if someone is around to hear it it produces sound.

Way off base or just a matter of semantics?