Distress call

[Dani]

Hello Lurkers

First of all, if this is not an appropriate post, I apologize.
It's just, I'm in a huge crisis and this is part of my virtual scream of anguish. :/

My Soulmate, SO, after 8 years of being together, 7 of which we lived together, has dumped me today. I realize my faults in the relationship, but mostly it is, or at least I feel so, a rather irrational decision made regardledd of my failings.
We've had crises before, but this time I know it is final

The problem is, that I still very much love the person, and the pain I'm going through is horrible.
I'm currently rather desperate, grasping at straws (and couple real life friends who have surprised me with the strength of their support) to cope. Coping is very hard for me because other problems, namely chronic depression, for which I will soon hopefully receive medication.

So here it is, my cry of pain to the LL community. Maybe it will help just a tiny little bit.

[Swarmalicious]

Hiya Dani,

I have fought similar battles. What I can tell you is that I'm still breathing, and manage to have some really nice times, despite how dreadful and unbearable certain patches have been. One thing that helps is reminding myself that everything in the entire universe is transient. Especially pain.

If you're prone to enjoying a good read, you may like to check out Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Robbins. I mention them because I got through a difficult time specifically because of their writing, and emereged with all kinds of insights related to how silly everything is in spite of the evils in the world. I continue to sweat their ideas to date.

K.V. said it all in 'breakfast of champions':

"Until you die, its all LIFE" :)

Hang in there, hope you feel better.

[Mithrandir]

If you're prone to enjoying a good read, you may like to check out Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Robbins.

Vonnegut is truly one of the masters of modern American literature and anyone should be encouraged to read his works. Slaughterhouse-Five and Breakfast of Champions are probably his two most profound and highly regarded novels, and thus that would most likely be a good place to start for someone wishing to get into Vonnegut.

I hesitate to recommend them to someone going through a very intense grieving process though. Most of what I have read by Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions even more so, is more of a satirical and critical social commentary rather than a story meant to uplift the spirit.

The one scene that comes to mind as the scene that people most often point to in attempt to "prove" that Breakfast of Champions is a positive book - the "unwavering band of light" - even falls under much scrutiny. Granted, different interpretations are possible, but it always seemed like an incredibly cynical and scathing monologue in actuality.

But, one of the great things about great literature is that 1000 people can read the same story and pull 1000 different meanings from it.

Dani, if you ever want to feel as though "At least my problems aren't as bad as HIM!" I would recommend The Eden Express by Vonnegut Jr. It is autobiographical in nature and should actually be in the psychology section of your local bookstore, but basically Vonnegut Jr. retreats to the middle of nowhere, falls into a paranoid/schizophrenic haze, and by the time they find him and bring him back to civilization, he's literally curled into a fetal position sucking his thumb.

*shrug* If any message can be gleaned from that book, it's that at least you have a healthy mind and can always look towards the future.

Hmm, I've got Updike on my mind right now after just reading Rabbit, Run but, truthfully, I doubt there's a worse book you could read after having a messy and emotional breakup - even though it is an incredible piece of literature.

Looking over at my bookshelf, nothing seems overly uplifting or positive (I'm a cynic at heart, bless you Morrison, Huxley, Vonnegut, et al :) ). Although I've never read it myself, Kentucky Ham by William Burroughs (son of the more famous Burroughs) is supposed to be incredibly funny and good writing to boot. The book is, in essence, recounting his experiences as his father would take him all over the world to various meetings of prestigious authors and him, then as a rather young boy, would sit there and watch them all smoke ridiculous amounts of hashish <_< A little humor could go a long way to making you feel better.

Here's hoping you manage to pull through this and try to take to heart the motto by which I have tried to live much of my life: "If it does not kill you, it only makes you stronger."