12-12-2005, 05:54 AM
Women are hard to shop for.
No offense.
You buy them cosmetics: "You think I am ugly. Don't you." (So totally not a question)
You by them something benign, like a package of hair scrunchies: "I knew it. You think my hair is horrible looking. Don't you. You think I should just pull it all back and not even bother styling it."
You buy them perfume: "You think I stink. Don't you."
You buy them a gift card: "You heartless bastard. You didn't even take the time to really think about what I really wanted. You took the easy way out and just tried to buy me off. You don't care about me at all." **Bursts in to tears**
You buy them expensive jewelrey: "You are only buying this to encourage me sexually."
You buy them cheap jewelry: No words. But the icy glare is terrible.
The most sucessful gift I have ever given a woman, other than my wife, was a long time ago to a secretary. I gave her a riding crop, a horse whip, wrapped nicely in some paper with a bow, something I had bought from a tack shop. With it, I included a little card mentioning that this was the perfect gift, as she could now flog me for all those times I had been heartless, or wrong, or somehow made a mistake, or simply for being a man, starting with thinking it was a good idea to buy her a riding crop for Christmas. I got my self quite a kiss, (under the mistletoe mind you) and she told me that was the most thoughtful gift that any man had ever given her.
No offense.
You buy them cosmetics: "You think I am ugly. Don't you." (So totally not a question)
You by them something benign, like a package of hair scrunchies: "I knew it. You think my hair is horrible looking. Don't you. You think I should just pull it all back and not even bother styling it."
You buy them perfume: "You think I stink. Don't you."
You buy them a gift card: "You heartless bastard. You didn't even take the time to really think about what I really wanted. You took the easy way out and just tried to buy me off. You don't care about me at all." **Bursts in to tears**
You buy them expensive jewelrey: "You are only buying this to encourage me sexually."
You buy them cheap jewelry: No words. But the icy glare is terrible.
The most sucessful gift I have ever given a woman, other than my wife, was a long time ago to a secretary. I gave her a riding crop, a horse whip, wrapped nicely in some paper with a bow, something I had bought from a tack shop. With it, I included a little card mentioning that this was the perfect gift, as she could now flog me for all those times I had been heartless, or wrong, or somehow made a mistake, or simply for being a man, starting with thinking it was a good idea to buy her a riding crop for Christmas. I got my self quite a kiss, (under the mistletoe mind you) and she told me that was the most thoughtful gift that any man had ever given her.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."