09-18-2005, 10:54 PM
Instead of arguing/agreeing with the rest of these points designed to get people on edge, which would be pretty pointless in this thread, and I've argued some of this before, I'll make up my own list.
You support "family values" if:
You believe that government laws can cover every possible situation in every possible interaction between millions of parents, kids, married couples, relatives, boyfriends/girlfriends, siblings, stepparents, etc.
You think that the telepathic power of someone else's decisions on sex and marriage and such has more power on a person's own relations than anything that person themselves does.
You count family success by how much the kids kick and scream when being dragged to meals.
You assume that anything with sex is more dangerous to kids than anything with violence in it, and that fake violence is more of a problem than real violence.
If someone were to say the word "gay" into your ear at night, you would jump up, grab a knife, and stab them to death.
You do not understand that big words can have more than one definition.
Any kind of music released after 1990 is bad. Even those newer U2 Cd's are bad.
You assume that sitting around listening to relatives talk about other relatives is a much more wholesome and useful experience than, say, things with computers.
Swearing isn't as bad as sex, but comes pretty close.
You do not understand that words can have more than one meaning. "conservative" in the sense of "cautious" doesn't have anything to do with 'conservative" in the sense of "relligious nut".
You think gayness is a bad virus spread through air from vocal cord tissue infections.
(and for the really mean spirited one) You have so little self control over your own violence and sex issues that you need the government to do it for you.
You support "family values" if:
You believe that government laws can cover every possible situation in every possible interaction between millions of parents, kids, married couples, relatives, boyfriends/girlfriends, siblings, stepparents, etc.
You think that the telepathic power of someone else's decisions on sex and marriage and such has more power on a person's own relations than anything that person themselves does.
You count family success by how much the kids kick and scream when being dragged to meals.
You assume that anything with sex is more dangerous to kids than anything with violence in it, and that fake violence is more of a problem than real violence.
If someone were to say the word "gay" into your ear at night, you would jump up, grab a knife, and stab them to death.
You do not understand that big words can have more than one definition.
Any kind of music released after 1990 is bad. Even those newer U2 Cd's are bad.
You assume that sitting around listening to relatives talk about other relatives is a much more wholesome and useful experience than, say, things with computers.
Swearing isn't as bad as sex, but comes pretty close.
You do not understand that words can have more than one meaning. "conservative" in the sense of "cautious" doesn't have anything to do with 'conservative" in the sense of "relligious nut".
You think gayness is a bad virus spread through air from vocal cord tissue infections.
(and for the really mean spirited one) You have so little self control over your own violence and sex issues that you need the government to do it for you.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)