The Corrupted Wish Game

[FenrisWulf]

Curses, Doc, you beat me to it again. Here's what I would have said:

I wish I had a job that paid money.  Real money, that I could walk into a store and exchange for useful stuff.  Because my current job only pays job satisfaction, and not bloody much of it.
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Granted! You have a job that pays money, except it pays all of your money to Bob Grampton, bum-of-all-trades, who lives a comfortable, idyllic life in Poheekum, Idaho, supported by the generous salary garnered by your hard work. On a plus note, this job pays a bunch more job satisfaction. On a minus note, all the job satisfaction is sent over to Bob, too.

And here's what I'll say instead:

I wish I wasn't locked in the basement of an outhouse in July.
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Done! You're now locked in the basement of an outhouse in August. The contents of the basement have been given an extra month to...mature. It is dark. You may be eaten by a grue.

I wish I weren't so tired.

EDIT: And, of course, can't leave Ashock out! Ashock, you're now James Bond. Ergo, you're a fictional character. You poof out of existence. And really, the movies about you will never be as good as when Sean Connery starred. It's all downhill from here.