Ode to a Coffee Urn

[Doc]

Coffee coffee in my gut,
You make magic in my butt.
You give me gas and cause me cramps,
So bad I could destroy Al Qaeda camps.
My favourite weapon of ass destruction,
Chemical brew of deadly combustion.

Coffee coffee in the pot,
I like to drink you piping hot.
Gulp gulp gulp don't hesitate,
I think my throat is made of slate.
Just one thing before you go,
A single packet of sweet and low.

Coffee coffee in my cup,
I once had to give you up.
Now we are back and ne'er will be parted,
When I lost you I was broken hearted.
It will never be the death of me,
I like my brew with chickory.

Coffee coffee freshly perculated,
Ate a danish while I waited.
If Mr. Coffee made your brew,
I will not have a cup with you.
Perculate! Please have a heart,
I am such a picky fart.

**Bows**