10-24-2003, 04:13 PM
Does a driver on the road not follow the signs to his destination? Other people or things point the way, ultimately the journey depends on us.
As for the answer of what I found that night, I can't say if it would be the answer you need as a person. It's different.
(BTW, Philosophy... Not psychology. I took some of that too, but, a different kind)
I am about everything. Or nothing. Does it matter? It is part of what I am. The only thing that brings about any sort of change in a system is the random element. Chaos. The wild card. The unknown. Since my discovery, I have gone through life and left a path of confusion and disorder in my wake. I am paradoxal down to my very core of being, a chaotic element that hates change. Am I genius or am I insane? Is there a difference? Does it matter? The problem with genius is they believe there is order and logic to the world. They are often to fixated or to lost to make the right kind of changes. Insane folks tend to spend a little to much time in asylums to make the world a better place. Me? I am a hermit living in a state of seclusion. I both love and despise technology. I love my computer and in the same breath I praise the fact that I make my own bread in a stove powered by wood. I make my own butter and cheese.
No, I can't tell you exactly what to look for, and, anybody that does is selling something, some sort of package deal mayhaps, one of those self help things that spoonfeeds you crap and makes the problem worse. I can point the way. I might even be able to make a guess to what you will find along the way. But at the end of the road is you, a person. A single entity. And nobody can tell you what that might be because nobody is you. Self help books are not the answer. They ask all the wrong questions and provide answers to questions best left unsaid. (Although there are no bad questions, there are plenty of bad answers hmm) No. The best thing to do is to find things that examine what self is. Atlas Shrugged is written the way it is for a reason. In that meaningless barrage of words is a great wisdom. It's kinda like staring at those 3D magic images. You stare and stare but it is not till you go out of focus that you "Get it." Atlas Shrugged should bore you to tears or drive you to distraction sending your mind other places while you read it. That scary place your mind goes when it has nothing better to do. If you are able to read the words, you need to step back out of focus. Ooops I let the cat out of the bag on that one. Hmmph. Oh well.
So you want to know what being self aware is? Why should I tell? You may never find the answer... Then again the answer might not be what is important. What might be important is that you try to find it, and, spend the rest of your life looking for it. What's that about the journey? Perhaps it is being aware that you are taking the journey... But that is up to you. In the end, after a life time of testing, tears, pain, joy, sorrow, love, laughter, and cheese danishes, in that moment just before you die, you will make the conclusion that you as a person needs. And you might look back and realize that you had it all along, that it was little more then Dumbo's Feather. Others might see where they missed it. Others might regret they never bothered looking for it. I don't have the answers. I can only offer advice that others offered me, freely passing it along. And one day, you might do the same.
Either way, I have done my job. I have planted a few seeds. Doubt perhaps. Questions. Mayhap ridicule and there could be many a lurker turning away, mayhap laughing and discrediting me. Hopefully though, one will be reached. I managed to provoke a good conversation out of Ghostiger though, I knew he had it in him. Occhi is already on the right path... Fun is where you find it. Others, I wont say.
As for the answer of what I found that night, I can't say if it would be the answer you need as a person. It's different.
(BTW, Philosophy... Not psychology. I took some of that too, but, a different kind)
I am about everything. Or nothing. Does it matter? It is part of what I am. The only thing that brings about any sort of change in a system is the random element. Chaos. The wild card. The unknown. Since my discovery, I have gone through life and left a path of confusion and disorder in my wake. I am paradoxal down to my very core of being, a chaotic element that hates change. Am I genius or am I insane? Is there a difference? Does it matter? The problem with genius is they believe there is order and logic to the world. They are often to fixated or to lost to make the right kind of changes. Insane folks tend to spend a little to much time in asylums to make the world a better place. Me? I am a hermit living in a state of seclusion. I both love and despise technology. I love my computer and in the same breath I praise the fact that I make my own bread in a stove powered by wood. I make my own butter and cheese.
No, I can't tell you exactly what to look for, and, anybody that does is selling something, some sort of package deal mayhaps, one of those self help things that spoonfeeds you crap and makes the problem worse. I can point the way. I might even be able to make a guess to what you will find along the way. But at the end of the road is you, a person. A single entity. And nobody can tell you what that might be because nobody is you. Self help books are not the answer. They ask all the wrong questions and provide answers to questions best left unsaid. (Although there are no bad questions, there are plenty of bad answers hmm) No. The best thing to do is to find things that examine what self is. Atlas Shrugged is written the way it is for a reason. In that meaningless barrage of words is a great wisdom. It's kinda like staring at those 3D magic images. You stare and stare but it is not till you go out of focus that you "Get it." Atlas Shrugged should bore you to tears or drive you to distraction sending your mind other places while you read it. That scary place your mind goes when it has nothing better to do. If you are able to read the words, you need to step back out of focus. Ooops I let the cat out of the bag on that one. Hmmph. Oh well.
So you want to know what being self aware is? Why should I tell? You may never find the answer... Then again the answer might not be what is important. What might be important is that you try to find it, and, spend the rest of your life looking for it. What's that about the journey? Perhaps it is being aware that you are taking the journey... But that is up to you. In the end, after a life time of testing, tears, pain, joy, sorrow, love, laughter, and cheese danishes, in that moment just before you die, you will make the conclusion that you as a person needs. And you might look back and realize that you had it all along, that it was little more then Dumbo's Feather. Others might see where they missed it. Others might regret they never bothered looking for it. I don't have the answers. I can only offer advice that others offered me, freely passing it along. And one day, you might do the same.
Either way, I have done my job. I have planted a few seeds. Doubt perhaps. Questions. Mayhap ridicule and there could be many a lurker turning away, mayhap laughing and discrediting me. Hopefully though, one will be reached. I managed to provoke a good conversation out of Ghostiger though, I knew he had it in him. Occhi is already on the right path... Fun is where you find it. Others, I wont say.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."