For those of you with low social confidence...
#6
My farting makes me socially confident.

I have several stomach ailments, IBS with Constipation, etc. I have ulcer type wounds in my intestines and stomach caused by a nervous disorder. They bleed. I eat a lot of delicious goat cheese and breads of all kinds. I eat a pound of oatmeal just about every morning.

When I fart, I have brought hardened proctologists to tears. I have cleared out an entire doctors office. I have loud, long, smelly farts, farts that can last in excess of 45 to 60 seconds on average. Because of my rectal rippers, I have dreams of beating the world's record for flatulence. With effort, and the right food, I can just about break 2 minutes.

Be not ashamed of your flatulence. Be proud. It's the one thing all human beings have in common. It's one thing that with a little effort, we can all be good at. Flatulence should be a celebrated art form. Stand up and be proud my brothers and sisters, and toot your own horn!!

Edited for slight typo
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply


Messages In This Thread
For those of you with low social confidence... - by Doc - 10-01-2003, 02:45 AM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)