06-17-2008, 01:38 AM
Though I don't actually know how to not make this too personal, so I'll try not to be too descriptive where I shouldn't be.
I'll try to help provide enough facts to help Analise this, just what I think is needed so I don't loose focus.
In my relationship prior to this one, I was with a woman in her early twenties who was into going down to the bars, drinking, meeting people and dancing. These were never my things, but she rarely indulged herself in them during our relationship till near the final month. At this point her and another guy went downtown with some friends and ended up sleeping with each other, which I found out from someone else the next day. Even though this relationship never developed a feeling of trust, the physical aspect of it was always good. We'll call this girl Sarah.
I live in the city, and I met this girl (who we'll call Lorine) in the country years ago, but never liked her more then a friend. I decided two years ago to see how she was, and she invited me up to the country where she lived. This was a two hour bus drive and I stayed the weekend. I situation arouse, where her roommates found another place to leave and she had no where to go. I invited her down to stay with me and my friends, knowing this was a bad idea cause she was interested in me at the time, though I wanted her.
Lorine stayed with me for a few months, from May to around September, then went off on her own, in another part of the city, to an apartment.
During the winter, I quietly broke off contact with her, trying to decide if I could be just friends with her. By February, I became well involved with projects at work that boosted my confidence a lot and she ended up falling for me.
At the beginning of the relationship, she's very innocent, almost old fashioned. Just kisses, walking arm in arm, and going for walks. Though she had only one serious relationship, and it lasted for two years, I was sure she was a virgin, so I shut off the idea of getting lucky and just got to know her on the new level.
This might be important for later. Her mother is who she is closest to, her father cares mostly only about football when she visits around and falls asleep during the game. Her mother is very religious, but Lorine ended up rebelling on it and believing in evolution alone. Still, she developed modest virtues from it.
Lorine had a good job, but the stress factor was at times high and she quit. Living on her own, I knew this was going to be a problem for her, and though I protested at first, I agreed to move in with her within a month of the relationship. I had just left my job, so we were both jobless and spending a lot of time together which at first was great. We both eventually did get jobs again.
Right from the start Lorine wanted to be sure I wanted to have a child someday like she did, to make sure we would work out alright. About a month into the relationship, she admitted that 'someday' was more like soon. She wanted to 'get started' by Christmas, of that year, which by that point she told me it was summer. Against my better judgment, from the excitement of it we started looking at, and in some instances buying, different baby items and looking at baby items. I was never sure then if she just wanted me to have a baby.
I apologize if anyone is offended at this next part. One night, as she normally just kissed me goodnight and went into her own room and me in my own, she went to take a shower. Came out in a sexy nightgown and went around the corner to her room, and gave me a seductive look, to inspire me to follow her. I only knew her innocent side, and must have been slow cause I didn't get the meaning and just smiled back. She comes out later, sitting on a ledge that is elevated higher then my laying down position, and she has just the nightgown on. Tempted, I still didn't look, cause she was always so modest, she got discouraged and went to bed. She later told me she couldn't sleep that night, and the light in my head was at last turned on.
I don't want to go on and on forever so basically the chance went away for one reason or another over the months that passed. She showed interest in it in those months, but was very nervous and we had busy lives and it got put off. And with a death in her family, she dropped the need for a baby and things went more in perspective in her life. Eventually she told me her last boyfriend constantly hounded her for it when she wasn't ready, and she didn't give in. And that they got in vicious arguments because of it and he was a control freak and controlled how her paycheck was spent and stole from her. She told me she understood I wasn't him.
On the 30th I'll have been with her a year, for the last two months I have lived at home, my choice. To give myself some room. She cried a little, thinking it was permanent, but things are better in a sense. Still, though I can't get this relationship to get physically closer. Went to massage her back, but when I went to touch her else where, she got nervous and sat up.
She never used to say, I love you, but now she does. Just usually on the phone. She likes to kiss and slap and grab my butt but doesn't seem to like cuddling. I still sleep in the next room when I stay the night over there, even though in the beginning she was always trying to get me in her room.
Now she was trying to get us on a camping trip together, cause she thought it spice things up. It got canceled, unforeseen circumstances, and put off. I brought these problems up to her and she says she has no one but me to talk about her problems, and needs to go to the valley, see her mom and talk about them.
So I feel left waiting again, but I love this girl.
I'll try to help provide enough facts to help Analise this, just what I think is needed so I don't loose focus.
In my relationship prior to this one, I was with a woman in her early twenties who was into going down to the bars, drinking, meeting people and dancing. These were never my things, but she rarely indulged herself in them during our relationship till near the final month. At this point her and another guy went downtown with some friends and ended up sleeping with each other, which I found out from someone else the next day. Even though this relationship never developed a feeling of trust, the physical aspect of it was always good. We'll call this girl Sarah.
I live in the city, and I met this girl (who we'll call Lorine) in the country years ago, but never liked her more then a friend. I decided two years ago to see how she was, and she invited me up to the country where she lived. This was a two hour bus drive and I stayed the weekend. I situation arouse, where her roommates found another place to leave and she had no where to go. I invited her down to stay with me and my friends, knowing this was a bad idea cause she was interested in me at the time, though I wanted her.
Lorine stayed with me for a few months, from May to around September, then went off on her own, in another part of the city, to an apartment.
During the winter, I quietly broke off contact with her, trying to decide if I could be just friends with her. By February, I became well involved with projects at work that boosted my confidence a lot and she ended up falling for me.
At the beginning of the relationship, she's very innocent, almost old fashioned. Just kisses, walking arm in arm, and going for walks. Though she had only one serious relationship, and it lasted for two years, I was sure she was a virgin, so I shut off the idea of getting lucky and just got to know her on the new level.
This might be important for later. Her mother is who she is closest to, her father cares mostly only about football when she visits around and falls asleep during the game. Her mother is very religious, but Lorine ended up rebelling on it and believing in evolution alone. Still, she developed modest virtues from it.
Lorine had a good job, but the stress factor was at times high and she quit. Living on her own, I knew this was going to be a problem for her, and though I protested at first, I agreed to move in with her within a month of the relationship. I had just left my job, so we were both jobless and spending a lot of time together which at first was great. We both eventually did get jobs again.
Right from the start Lorine wanted to be sure I wanted to have a child someday like she did, to make sure we would work out alright. About a month into the relationship, she admitted that 'someday' was more like soon. She wanted to 'get started' by Christmas, of that year, which by that point she told me it was summer. Against my better judgment, from the excitement of it we started looking at, and in some instances buying, different baby items and looking at baby items. I was never sure then if she just wanted me to have a baby.
I apologize if anyone is offended at this next part. One night, as she normally just kissed me goodnight and went into her own room and me in my own, she went to take a shower. Came out in a sexy nightgown and went around the corner to her room, and gave me a seductive look, to inspire me to follow her. I only knew her innocent side, and must have been slow cause I didn't get the meaning and just smiled back. She comes out later, sitting on a ledge that is elevated higher then my laying down position, and she has just the nightgown on. Tempted, I still didn't look, cause she was always so modest, she got discouraged and went to bed. She later told me she couldn't sleep that night, and the light in my head was at last turned on.
I don't want to go on and on forever so basically the chance went away for one reason or another over the months that passed. She showed interest in it in those months, but was very nervous and we had busy lives and it got put off. And with a death in her family, she dropped the need for a baby and things went more in perspective in her life. Eventually she told me her last boyfriend constantly hounded her for it when she wasn't ready, and she didn't give in. And that they got in vicious arguments because of it and he was a control freak and controlled how her paycheck was spent and stole from her. She told me she understood I wasn't him.
On the 30th I'll have been with her a year, for the last two months I have lived at home, my choice. To give myself some room. She cried a little, thinking it was permanent, but things are better in a sense. Still, though I can't get this relationship to get physically closer. Went to massage her back, but when I went to touch her else where, she got nervous and sat up.
She never used to say, I love you, but now she does. Just usually on the phone. She likes to kiss and slap and grab my butt but doesn't seem to like cuddling. I still sleep in the next room when I stay the night over there, even though in the beginning she was always trying to get me in her room.
Now she was trying to get us on a camping trip together, cause she thought it spice things up. It got canceled, unforeseen circumstances, and put off. I brought these problems up to her and she says she has no one but me to talk about her problems, and needs to go to the valley, see her mom and talk about them.
So I feel left waiting again, but I love this girl.