The Corrupted Wish Game

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. You are now sleeping in a loft bed. As soon as you wake up, you fall out of bed - from five feet up. That's not a high enough fall to kill you, depending on what you fall on, but it will hurt.

I wish I had a credit card.

[Minionman]

Granted.  You are now sleeping in a loft bed.  As soon as you wake up, you fall out of bed - from five feet up.  That's not a high enough fall to kill you, depending on what you fall on, but it will hurt.

I wish I had a credit card.
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Granted. You run up the bills and go several thousand dollars in debt.


I wish there were no more of these stupid teen dramas that I keep hearing about getting made.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. This summer's lineup consists of From Justin to Kelly, Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, Heaven's Gate, and Ishtar. Enjoy. If you can, you must be eliminated from the gene pool immediately.

I wish my wrists didn't hurt.

[Minionman]

Granted.  This summer's lineup consists of From Justin to Kelly, Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, Heaven's Gate, and Ishtar.  Enjoy.  If you can, you must be eliminated from the gene pool immediately.

I wish my wrists didn't hurt.
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Granted. Your wrists have no nerve endings anymore, and as you can't tell when they are hurting, you break them several times over the next few years.


I wish I knewwhere everything was.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. Now your life is filled with people asking you to find things for them, like kittens and rings and Jimmy Hoffa's body. Eventually someone asks you to find something that shouldn't be found, such as the secret to the ultimate nature of reality, and your head explodes. When you get to Heaven, it turns out St. Anthony is mad at you for infringing on his turf.

I wish there were more people than just you and me on this thread.

[Lucky Barbarian]

I wish there were more people than just you and me on this thread.
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Granted. Now a troll appears on the forum and spoils The Corrupted Wishgame and other threads too. Everybody finds out you are the reason for the troll and you get banned from the Lounge.

I wish I had 10 million credits in Anarchy Online (a certain MMORPG).

~Lucky

[Jeunemaitre]

I wish I had 10 million credits in Anarchy Online (a certain MMORPG).

~Lucky
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After reviewing all of the material in your inventory (-ies) and determining the sale price for each using an online calculator, you find that your net worth is 10 M credits :w00t: . Those few pieces of equipment you had your eye on will soon be yours. One quick jaunt down to the NPC for a yard sale and... Cha-ching. One quick nekkid lap up to the other NPC for the new gear and... cha-cha-ching. Good news man, that gear you had your eye on is now yours. One problem: :o one of the pieces of your old equipment granted you an (attribute) bonus, which allowed you to meet the minimum requirements of your new uber lewt, but without that piece, sadly, your 2% shy of the threshold. Your far enough along in the game that nekkid runs are not really an option, but too far to give up without horrible mental anguish. So which is it: run around getting beaten to a digital pulp, or mentally beat yourself to a pulp. Good luck with that.

I wish that my recent house purchase had not resulted in a ridiculous list of home maintenance projects.

[Minionman]

After reviewing all of the material in your inventory (-ies) and determining the sale price for each using an online calculator, you find that your net worth is 10 M credits :w00t: .  Those few pieces of equipment you had your eye on will soon be yours.  One quick jaunt down to the NPC for a yard sale and... Cha-ching.  One quick nekkid lap up to the other NPC for the new gear and... cha-cha-ching.  Good news man, that gear you had your eye on is now yours.  One problem:  :o one of the pieces of your old equipment granted you an (attribute) bonus, which allowed you to meet the minimum requirements of your new uber lewt, but without that piece, sadly, your 2% shy of the threshold.  Your far enough along in the game that nekkid runs are not really an option, but too far to give up without horrible mental anguish.  So which is it: run around getting beaten to a digital pulp, or mentally beat yourself to a pulp.  Good luck with that.

I wish that my recent house purchase had not resulted in a ridiculous list of home maintenance projects.
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Granted. Someone else magically comes along and fixes everything for you. To pay them, you hve to sell the house. I come along and laugh at you, and mention that you should have gotten an apartment.


I wish I knew what "snapback" meant in the quote tags.

[Jeunemaitre]

I wish I knew what "snapback" meant in the quote tags.
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[over the top tone]
Ahh. Grasshopper. Now you will listen to me. The snapback item puts in that lovely little arrow in the quote that you can click on to get back to the original post that was quoted. Now also remember this my student: for every piece of information you learn, you lose one you used to know. I have just removed two of your earliest and happiest memories. [/over the top tone]

I wish that the learn to loss ratio was actually 1:2 (one learned knocks out 2 known).
(Ice cream bludgeons the back of my soul!?!)

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. Now why did you want to do that?

Now I'm going to tell you everything I know. With a memory like mine, this will take a looong time. And well before I'm finished, you will forget your name, birthdate, and first language.

I wish my freezer was colder.

[Minionman]

Granted.  Now why did you want to do that?

Now I'm going to tell you everything I know.  With a memory like mine, this will take a looong time.  And well before I'm finished, you will forget your name, birthdate, and first language.

I wish my freezer was colder.
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granted. Your freezer now uses lots of liquid helium to keep things cool. You now must wait several hours for food to unfreeze, plus it will be extremely mushy from all the ice that freezes onto it from the air, plus liquid helium is expensive so you are now shelling out tons of money to keep the freezer going. Plus when opening the freezer, you get instant frostbite. I could go on and on.


Anyway, I wish the booktores were always in stock.

[jahcs]

Booktores are now always in stock. In fact, we've got booktores filling neighborhood streets, the city park, your front yard... Now if we could could figure out what all these booktores were used for we'd be on like Donkey Kong. :P

I wish we could learn the difference between semantics and pragmatics.

[Minionman]

Booktores are now always in stock.  In fact, we've got booktores filling neighborhood streets, the city park, your front yard...  Now if we could could figure out what all these booktores were used for we'd be on like Donkey Kong. :P

I wish we could learn the difference between semantics and pragmatics.
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Sure. We can learn, but don't bother to.


I wish I could get the book I need for a particular class.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. You can get the textbook required for Michigan Traffic Law (CJUS 352). And only that book. It doesn't really matter whether or not you're actually taking that class - in fact, I would bet your entire tuition, including housing and parking fees, that you're not. The only textbook you can get this semester is a complete copy of Michigan Traffic Laws (2005). It's about as fascinating as anything written in Congressional can be, just more relevant - assuming you're going to be driving in Michigan before Congress convenes again.

Actually, I think there's another textbook required for that class. You can still only get Michigan Traffic Laws (2005).

I wish that whoever is supposed to lock and unlock the west side doors would get his/her greatest desire.

[Jeunemaitre]

I wish that whoever is supposed to lock and unlock the west side doors would get his/her greatest desire.
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You've uncovered the central character in a fascinating story of youth in America. The young man (Tony) who's responsible for the (un-)locking of the west side doors is madly in love with one of your fellow students Vashj, her name is MARIA [music playing]. Have you met Maria? She's pretty, oh so pretty. However, their relative positions in life have put their forbidden love on dangerous footing. Maria's family would not understand her love for Tony, and his family and friends, though confused by his love for her, have adopted a posture of resigned acceptance. In a sudden struggle between Maria's brother and her lover, the brother is left bleeding on the steps leading to the west side doors; left there alone to die. Though appalled by his actions, Maria's love for Tony cannot be broken, and the two make plans to leave the streets for somewhere more understanding, somehow there must be a place for them. Before they can leave, Maria's brother is avenged by Tony's death at the hand of Maria's cousin, Chino. Maria is left heartbroken: from one moment when she and her lover had finally felt that thaey could be together, theit greatest desire fulfilled, to the next when her love has been destroyed by the hand of her own family. She lashes out in rage asking "how many of you can I kill and still have one [of these bullets] left for me?" But in the end, there is nothing left to do but settle upon a final solemn point: the only thing these families agree on is that Tony's body will be carried out to an appropriate place. Fulfillment and crushing, empty, heartache. Nice wish Vashj. Maybe next time you might think through what you say before someone ends up dead...

Thanks to the marvelous people who originally came up with that beautiful but painful story. If you don't get the reference, don't bother: I've just ruined it for you. And don;t you try to call me on that Vashj: you just wished the person got their desire fulfilled, and that's what I've given you.

I wish culturally enriching events (theatre, concerts and such) were less expensive to attend.

[Minionman]

You've uncovered the central character in a fascinating story of youth in America.  The young man (Tony) who's responsible for the (un-)locking of the west side doors is madly in love with one of your fellow students Vashj, her name is MARIA [music playing].  Have you met Maria? She's pretty, oh so pretty.  However, their relative positions in life have put their forbidden love on dangerous footing.  Maria's family would not understand her love for Tony, and his family and friends, though confused by his love for her, have adopted a posture of resigned acceptance.  In a sudden struggle between Maria's brother and her lover, the brother is left bleeding on the steps leading to the west side doors; left there alone to die.  Though appalled by his actions, Maria's love for Tony cannot be broken, and the two make plans to leave the streets for somewhere more understanding, somehow there must be a place for them.  Before they can leave, Maria's brother is avenged by Tony's death at the hand of Maria's cousin, Chino.  Maria is left heartbroken: from one moment when she and her lover had finally felt that thaey could be together, theit greatest desire fulfilled, to the next when her love has been destroyed by the hand of her own family.  She lashes out in rage asking "how many of you can I kill and still have one [of these bullets] left for me?"  But in the end, there is nothing left to do but settle upon a final solemn point: the only thing these families agree on is that Tony's body will be carried out to an appropriate place.  Fulfillment and crushing, empty, heartache.  Nice wish Vashj.  Maybe next time you might think through what you say before someone ends up dead...

Thanks to the marvelous people who originally came up with that beautiful but painful story.  If you don't get the reference, don't bother: I've just ruined it for you.  And don;t you try to call me on that Vashj: you just wished the person got their desire fulfilled, and that's what I've given you.

I wish culturally enriching events (theatre, concerts and such) were less expensive to attend.
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Granted. kindergarten theater, clapping concerts, and modern art shows are now all free, plus shipping and handling.

I wish Vash had at least picked "Illinois traffic laws", in her corrupted wish granting.

[Lady Vashj]

Guess what, young master. I wished that "Tony" would get his greatest desire because I was REALLY UNHAPPY with him. His dereliction of duty got me thoroughly soaked and made me late for class because I couldn't get into the building without going 300 yards out of my way. Why else would I wish for him to get his greatest desire on this thread?

Granted. Suddenly, the traffic laws of the great state of Illinois are drastically amended. Many things that had been legal are now illegal (such as turning right on red), some things that had been illegal are now legal (did you know that hanging stuff from your rearview mirror had been illegal? Not anymore!), and many of the legal penalties have been changed - some drastically. Your copy of Illinois Traffic Law is an excellent exercise in translating Congressional, but it's not much use as a guide to Illinois traffic law anymore.

I wish this smiley was added to the list of Lounge smilies. Ain't he great?

EDIT: He may or may not be working. I can't help that.

[Minionman]

Guess what, young master.  I wished that "Tony" would get his greatest desire because I was REALLY UNHAPPY with him.  His dereliction of duty got me thoroughly soaked and made me late for class because I couldn't get into the building without going 300 yards out of my way.  Why else would I wish for him to get his greatest desire on this thread?

Granted.  Suddenly, the traffic laws of the great state of Illinois are drastically amended.  Many things that had been legal are now illegal (such as turning right on red), some things that had been illegal are now legal (did you know that hanging stuff from your rearview mirror had been illegal?  Not anymore!), and many of the legal penalties have been changed - some drastically.  Your copy of Illinois Traffic Law is an excellent exercise in translating Congressional, but it's not much use as a guide to Illinois traffic law anymore.

I wish this smiley was added to the list of Lounge smilies.  Ain't he great?

EDIT:  He may or may not be working.  I can't help that.
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Granted. After tony's death, they lock the doors and don't have [I]anyone{/I] open them anymore. They paint whatever smiley you had wanted on the door, so now you burst into a fury whenever you see the smiley.


I wish Romeo and Juliet had been quietly forgotten instead of becoming famous.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. Their families reconciled, and they got married and lived happily ever after. One of their descendants ended up killing one of your ancestors in a war (there were many wars in medieval Europe).

Error 666 Spontaneous existence failure
User {minionman} not found.

Goodbye.

I wish this smiley would always work.

[Minionman]

Granted.  Their families reconciled, and they got married and lived happily ever after.  One of their descendants ended up killing one of your ancestors in a war (there were many wars in medieval Europe).

Error 666 Spontaneous existence failure
User {minionman} not found.

Goodbye.

I wish this smiley would always work.
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Granted. It now has a job at an office and puts it's nose to the grindstone 24/7.


I wish I was more flexible.