The Corrupted Wish Game

[Bob]

*BEEP* Invalid corruption: Wish not granted.  I wished for the library's selection to improve overall, not simply relative to mine.  All your paychecks are belong to me.
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ok, the library sends some ninjas around, steals your collection and adds them to it's own, it is now really, and relatively, bigger.

[Lady Vashj]

*grrr* But I suppose it does fix the problem....

However, you forgot to grant my new wish or make one of your own, so the punishment still stands.

[Minionman]

*BEEP* Invalid corruption: Wish not granted.  I wished for the library's selection to improve overall, not simply relative to mine.  All your paychecks are belong to me.

Granted.  You wished that I could get paid for attending school over the summer.  I'm getting $100 an hour just for sitting in class.  Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!

I wish the above was true.
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Granted. This is stoned philosophy 101, where your brain slowly melts away from the drug fumes and the "deep thoughts". All of your classes are this. After a whole summer, you walk out a walking vegetable.

I wish to be sure that college wil be interesting.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. Each and every one of your teachers brings their hyperactive three-year-old triplets with them for each and every class. Each week, a different part of town is undergoing major road construction, always on one of your important routes. Your roomate's obscure relatives have been dying off in droves recently, leaving him all kind of neat stuff with the price tags still on, and he's been keeping it all in your room - and you know he packs heat.

I wish my labs were more fun.

[Gurnsey]

I wish my labs were more fun.
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Granted! Your Labs are a lot more fun - they chase frisbees, dive off docks, and cuddle with you at night while you read. Woof!



I wish that the weather wouldn't perversely be nice while I am at work and then storm the second I leave.

[Bob]

granted, you weather will no longer be nice when you're at work because you no longer have a job due to your using company time to post to this thread (ok, I don't know that you did that for sure, but however it happens you no longer have a job). This also solves the problem of it getting stormy when you leave.

I wish my linux install wouldn't keep asking me for a CD whenever I set something to download in yast.

[TaiDaishar]

granted, you weather will no longer be nice when you're at work because you no longer have a job due to your using company time to post to this thread (ok, I don't know that you did that for sure, but however it happens you no longer have a job). This also solves the problem of it getting stormy when you leave.

I wish my linux install wouldn't keep asking me for a CD whenever I set something to download in yast.
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Granted. It now always asks for a CD. In addition it now demands a 10 digits long serial number as well as credit card info and bill information everytime you touch the keyboard.

Edit: I wish my edited wish will save me from the punishment deserved to those who do not make a wish

[Minionman]

Granted. It now always asks for a CD. In addition it now demands a 10 digits long serial number as well as credit card info and bill information everytime you touch the keyboard.

Edit: I wish my edited wish will save me from the punishment deserved to those who do not make a wish
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Granted. You deserve a different punishment. Getting hung upside down by me gives me a good 15 minutes of exercise.

I wish I could read minds.

[Jeunemaitre]

I wish I could read minds.
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Congratulations, you've gained the ability to read minds. However, you now realize that it's not reading minds that you really wanted to be able to do, it's seeing thoughts. As it turns out, reading minds is a lot like reading a movie script, before the movie has been made. Yeah, you get the idea of what's going on, but without direction, acting, blocking, lighting, sounds, and props, it's not really a good representation of what's really going on. In another way, it's also a lot like text only email: kind of hard to tell whether something is sarcastic, or really hurtful. As a result of your newfound ability, you take much longer to speak to people as you muct read through the transcript of their thoughts before replying, and you often get confused about intentions, and often start arguments of misunderstandings. On the bright side, as time goes by, you begin to read much faster, now that you get so much practice. Bonus dude!

I wish I could better follow my wife's pattern of loose associations.

[Minionman]

Congratulations, you've gained the ability to read minds.  However, you now realize that it's not reading minds that you really wanted to be able to do, it's seeing thoughts.  As it turns out, reading minds is a lot like reading a movie script, before the movie has been made.  Yeah, you get the idea of what's going on, but without direction, acting, blocking, lighting, sounds, and props, it's not really a good representation of what's really going on.  In another way, it's also a lot like text only email: kind of hard to tell whether something is sarcastic, or really hurtful.  As a result of your newfound ability, you take much longer to speak to people as you muct read through the transcript of their thoughts before replying, and you often get confused about intentions, and often start arguments of misunderstandings.  On the bright side, as time goes by, you begin to read much faster, now that you get so much practice.  Bonus dude!

I wish I could better follow my wife's pattern of loose associations.
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Granted. You have traded your ability to think in terms of tight asociations to get the ability to figure out loose associations. Now, when you see 4+5, instead of thinking 9, you think "eraser".

I wish I hae very good balance.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. But your coordination stinks.

I wish I appealed more to guys who appeal to me.

[Minionman]

Granted.  But your coordination stinks.

I wish I appealed more to guys who appeal to me.
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Granted. It;s more in a slightly friendy way though, nothing past that, no dates, no "spending lots of time in the same area", no.. you get the idea. (Actually, I have a similar wish about everybody, with females in attraction terms, and everybody in terms of "fun to hang around with and happy to do so".)



I wish Ice cream was nutritious and still tasted like it does now.

[Jeunemaitre]

I wish Ice cream was nutritious and still tasted like it does now.
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No problem. Ice cream now is quite nutritious, and tastes as you would like it to. Minor drawback: like Soylent Green, ice cream is now made of people. Enjoy!!!

I wish I could go camping next week-end.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. (Oh, this is too easy...) It's thunderstorms all weekend and a bear breaks into your tent/camper/car. Not good enough? *casts Tornado*

I wish the buildings I frequent did not have their air conditioners tuned to the comfort of overweight men in heavy wool suits. I'm on a college campus. Men in wool suits are heavily outnumbered by girls in cotton T-shirts.

[Minionman]

Granted.  (Oh, this is too easy...)  It's thunderstorms all weekend and a bear breaks into your tent/camper/car.  Not good enough?  *casts Tornado*

I wish the buildings I frequent did not have their air conditioners tuned to the comfort of overweight men in heavy wool suits.  I'm on a college campus.  Men in wool suits are heavily outnumbered by girls in cotton T-shirts.
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Granted, sort of. The air conditioners are now tuned to what you think is good for the lighter dressed people, but the men in wool suits are still happy. (mind should be out of gutter by tomorrow at 10 a.m.)

I wish all movies were better.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted. All movies are now what we would currently consider Oscar material. We become jaded. We start thinking that good movies (like Finding Nemo) suck horribly, and fantastic movies (like Return of the King) are pretty decent if you have nothing better to do. No director can live up to our hideously overinflated standards. The industry collapses. Hollywood sinks into the sea, and the rest of California soon follows. :D :lol: :w00t: This makes me incredibly happy, but you are depressed because you don't think there are any movies worth going to.

I wish my brother hadn't rolled the car yesterday. The damage is not irreparable (except to his driving record), but I was intending to take that car off to college with me.

[Minionman]

Granted.  All movies are now what we would currently consider Oscar material.  We become jaded.  We start thinking that good movies (like Finding Nemo) suck horribly, and fantastic movies (like Return of the King) are pretty decent if you have nothing better to do.  No director can live up to our hideously overinflated standards.  The industry collapses.  Hollywood sinks into the sea, and the rest of California soon follows. :D  :lol:  :w00t: This makes me incredibly happy, but you are depressed because you don't think there are any movies worth going to.

I wish my brother hadn't rolled the car yesterday.  The damage is not irreparable (except to his driving record), but I was intending to take that car off to college with me.
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Granted. The car did not have an accident yesterday, giving you the chance to rear end somebody in the fall, irreparebly damaging the car and yourdriving record.

I wish the weather wasn't as hot as it is right now.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted.  The car did not have an accident yesterday, giving you the chance to rear end somebody in the fall, irreparebly damaging the car and yourdriving record.

I wish the weather wasn't as hot as it is right now.
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Granted. It's even hotter. And it's incredibly humid.

I wish someone at the tech department would change the login notice. Currently it states that the school will begin charging students for printing on Monday, June 7...but June 7, 2005 was not a Monday. It was a Tuesday. June 7 was a Monday in 2004. Gives you an idea how old this notice is.

[Minionman]

Granted.  It's even hotter.  And it's incredibly humid.

I wish someone at the tech department would change the login notice.  Currently it states that the school will begin charging students for printing on Monday, June 7...but June 7, 2005 was not a Monday.  It was a Tuesday.  June 7 was a Monday in 2004.  Gives you an idea how old this notice is.
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Granted. You did not actually say a date in the actual sentence of your wish, so the notice will now say thursday. February 22, 1964.

I wish loopholes were rarer.

[Lady Vashj]

Granted.  You did not actually say a date in the actual sentence of your wish, so the notice will now say thursday. February 22, 1964.

I wish loopholes were rarer.
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Hey, that sounds cool!

Granted. This game self-destructs due to the lack of loopholes, because without loopholes, how could we corrupt wishes while still granting them? Everybody hates you now.

I wish Mahjong Garden To Go (it's a game) did not have a critical bug that caused the computer to restart and wipe out the hard drive whenever you get three and a half minutes into level 3. Good thing these are network computers. Do not play Mahjong Garden To Go, published by Gamehouse.com.