Posts: 475
Threads: 16
Joined: Jan 2004
04-25-2005, 02:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-15-2005, 01:02 PM by Lady Vashj.)
How to play:
One person makes a wish. The next person grants that wish with a caveat that makes the wish go bad, then makes their own wish for the next person to corrupt.
Examples:
I wish I had a new Corvette.
Granted. Here's your Corvette. The license plate reads NO TAG, so all violations committed by a car with no license plate will be attributed to you, as will the associated fines and points on your license (because the cops and meter maids write NO TAG where it says "License Plate" if the car has no tag).
I wish I was out on my boat on a beautiful summer day.
Granted. You're out on Lake Superior, which is really cold even in the middle of summer. There's a hole in your boat the size of a dinner plate, you're three miles from shore, your cell phone is dead, and you have no life jacket.
Corruptions are invalid if they undo the grant. Consider this wish:
I wish I had blond hair.
An appropriate corruption would be:
Granted, but you can't write checks anymore because you don't look at all like your driver's license photo. The next time you are pulled over for speeding, you are arrested on suspicion of using a fake ID.
An INAPPROPRIATE corruption would be:
Granted, but three days later it turns back to its original color.
Hopefully you get the picture.
Anyone who uses toilet humor to corrupt wishes will die a horrible, screaming death, trapped in the tank of a Port-o-Potty throughout the month of July (how appropriate). Punishments for other crimes, such as failing to grant or make a wish or improper corruption (see above) must be creative; see previous punishments to make sure you don't repeat. Punishments for failing to make a wish may be carried out by anyone; punishments for failing to grant or improperly corrupting a wish may only be carried out by whoever made that wish.
I wish I understood calculus.
Posts: 857
Threads: 12
Joined: Feb 2003
Lady Vashj,Apr 25 2005, 06:49 AM Wrote:I wish I understood calculus.
[right][snapback]75066[/snapback][/right]
Poof! You understand calculus, unfortunately that knowledge has pushed other neccesary tidbits from your grey matter, like how to open a door. You are now trapped inside your bedroom with a graphing calculator and a calculus textbook.
I wish I had a pastrami sandwich.
The Bill of No Rights
The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance. Robert A. Heinlein
Posts: 475
Threads: 16
Joined: Jan 2004
jahcs,Apr 25 2005, 11:02 AM Wrote:I wish I had a pastrami sandwich.
[right][snapback]75072[/snapback][/right]
Granted. Before you can take a bite, an eagle swoops down and snatches it out of your hand, taking a good-sized chunk of your hand with it. On the plus side, you can make up a cool story to go with the scars and missing fingers.
I wish I could get a full scholarship, including room and board.
Posts: 857
Threads: 12
Joined: Feb 2003
Lady Vashj,Apr 25 2005, 07:07 AM Wrote:I wish I could get a full scholarship, including room and board.
[right][snapback]75074[/snapback][/right]
Your impressive knowledge of calculus has impressed the University and they have given you a full ride scholarship. Unfortunately you are still trapped in your room...
I wish I had a bandage for my hand.
The Bill of No Rights
The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance. Robert A. Heinlein
Posts: 255
Threads: 2
Joined: Feb 2003
jahcs,Apr 25 2005, 03:35 PM Wrote:I wish I had a bandage for my hand.
[right][snapback]75078[/snapback][/right]
Voila! You have a bandage for your hand. It is still attached to a mummy. The mummy is angry and wants his bandage back.
I wish that I had started on this CS program earlier.
USEAST: Werewolf (94), Werebear (87), Hunter (85), Artimentalist (78), Meleementalist (76, ret.)
USEAST HCL: Huntermentalist (72), Werewolf (27)
Single Player HC: Werewolf (61, deceased), Werewolf (24)
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
FenrisWulf,Apr 25 2005, 10:41 AM Wrote:Voila! You have a bandage for your hand. It is still attached to a mummy. The mummy is angry and wants his bandage back.
I wish that I had started on this CS program earlier.
[right][snapback]75080[/snapback][/right]
By failing to mention what CS stands for, your wish is granted. You are now finished with the most awesome Cross Stitch program ever. Millions of old greasy grannies want to be your groupies. They love you, worship you, and they throw panties.
Granny panties!
I wish all my enemies have long prosperous lives... **cackles**
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
Posts: 6,430
Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
FenrisWulf,Apr 25 2005, 09:41 AM Wrote:Voila! You have a bandage for your hand. It is still attached to a mummy. The mummy is angry and wants his bandage back.
I wish that I had started on this CS program earlier.
[right][snapback]75080[/snapback][/right]
You now have started on the program earlier, however, it has cost you the last three nights of sleep. The lack of sleep induced you to offer your hand in marriage to that 300 pound, transgender behemoth who works at the convenience store.
I wish I were taller.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 10:57 AM Wrote:I wish I were taller.
Occhi
[right][snapback]75083[/snapback][/right]
You gain hight, but loose length :blink:
I wish all spammers would get their fondest desires...
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
Posts: 512
Threads: 20
Joined: Feb 2003
All your enemies live longer than you. However, while living they torment your psychological, physical and spiritual health. Long after you die, they are still tormenting your family using economic and any other means they can think of.
I wish I had a summer internship.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation - Henry David Thoreau
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and at the rate I'm going, I'm going to be invincible.
Chicago wargaming club
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
pakman,Apr 25 2005, 11:15 AM Wrote:I wish I had a summer internship.
[right][snapback]75085[/snapback][/right]
POOF!
Your wish lands you in the White House. You have a blue dress. Be careful, it stains easy.
Right about now, I kinda wish I had a chunk of Godiva chocolate. Consequences be damned!
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
Posts: 6,430
Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 10:21 AM Wrote:POOF!
Your wish lands you in the White House. You have a blue dress. Be careful, it stains easy.
Right about now, I kinda wish I had a chunk of Godiva chocolate. Consequences be damned!
[right][snapback]75086[/snapback][/right]
You have a large chunk of Godiva chocolate, but you are pulling it out of the picnic basket on a day with 95 degree heat, 80% humidity, less than ten feet from a full beehive.
I wish I had a bottle of 18 year old Glenturret Scotch.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 11:51 AM Wrote:You have a large chunk of Godiva chocolate, but you are pulling it out of the picnic basket on a day with 95 degree heat, 80% humidity, less than ten feet from a full beehive.
I wish I had a bottle of 18 year old Glenturret Scotch.
Occhi
[right][snapback]75092[/snapback][/right]
Is that hot or something? Where I live, we hit 100 degrees easy, with 100% humidity, 115 to 125 degree heat index, and we have AFRICANIZED honey bees and fire ants.
You have your bottle. But only your bottle. It's not empty however, it's filled with bees!
I wish I had thirty two hours in a day.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
Posts: 255
Threads: 2
Joined: Feb 2003
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 05:02 PM Wrote:I wish I had thirty two hours in a day.
[right][snapback]75096[/snapback][/right] Your wish is granted! You have thirty-two hours in a day. Unfortunately, you only have 45 minutes in an hour. Even more unfortunately, you also have ten bees in each minute. Ouch. They're drunk and belligerent, no less.
I wish I could get an interview with this security/cryptography company I've been looking at.
USEAST: Werewolf (94), Werebear (87), Hunter (85), Artimentalist (78), Meleementalist (76, ret.)
USEAST HCL: Huntermentalist (72), Werewolf (27)
Single Player HC: Werewolf (61, deceased), Werewolf (24)
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
FenrisWulf,Apr 25 2005, 12:08 PM Wrote:Your wish is granted! You have thirty-two hours in a day. Unfortunately, you only have 45 minutes in an hour. Even more unfortunately, you also have ten bees in each minute. Ouch. They're drunk and belligerent, no less.
[right][snapback]75097[/snapback][/right]
Drunken belligerent Africanized honey bees?
I am getting the fark outa here...
Run away! Run away!
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
Posts: 1,063
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2003
FenrisWulf,Apr 25 2005, 10:08 AM Wrote:I wish I could get an interview with this security/cryptography company I've been looking at.
[right][snapback]75097[/snapback][/right]
Oh they'll interview you, all right. As you're dropping off your application, you are mistaken for a prowler. They take you to a windowless room, deep underground, and subject you to an intense and unpleasant "interview."
I wish I could get a teaching job.
Why can't we all just get along
--Pete
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
Griselda,Apr 25 2005, 12:14 PM Wrote:I wish I could get a teaching job.
[right][snapback]75099[/snapback][/right]
Your wish is granted. The US Edjoomakation System recognizes that 3|33t is the language of the future. You become the first school teacher of this new and wonderful language.
Pwned.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
Posts: 652
Threads: 43
Joined: Feb 2003
04-25-2005, 05:22 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-25-2005, 05:24 PM by TaiDaishar.)
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 07:17 PM Wrote:Pwned.
[right][snapback]75100[/snapback][/right]
Granted. You have Pwned Griselda but a law has passed which forces all people to learn 1337 and she's your teacher, it is also now mendatory for teachers to carry axes with which they must punish all unruly behaviour.
I wish I had a fleet of drunken belligerent Africanized honey bees to do my bidding.
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
Posts: 475
Threads: 16
Joined: Jan 2004
TaiDaishar,Apr 25 2005, 01:22 PM Wrote:Granted. You have Pwned Griselda but a law has passed which forces all people to learn 1337 and she's your teacher, it is also now mendatory for teachers to carry axes with which they must punish all unruly behaviour.
I wish I had a fleet of drunken belligerent Africanized honey bees to do my bidding.
[right][snapback]75101[/snapback][/right] Granted. But they don't want to. They'd rather sting you to death. So they do.
I wish it wouldn't snow in LATE FARKING APRIL!
Posts: 652
Threads: 43
Joined: Feb 2003
Lady Vashj,Apr 25 2005, 07:38 PM Wrote:Granted. But they don't want to. They'd rather sting you to death. So they do.
I wish it wouldn't snow in LATE FARKING APRIL!
[right][snapback]75102[/snapback][/right]
Hey... you didn't grant my wish! Cheater!
Granted. The snow has stopped falling and instead of it radioactive waste is falling all over the place mutating everything it touches.
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
I wish they would bring Flamespike the Crawler back to the Inner Cloister in DII.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
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