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I am entitled to 10 sick days per year. It is nearing the end of August, and I haven't even used one.
I think tomorrow is a good time to burn a sick day. I just need a semi-plausible excuse.
I am leaning towards "I really don't feel well enough to come into work today. Sorry." Simpler is better, yes?
-DeeBye
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Call into work and say you have "Explosive Diarrhea" due to highly contagious stomach flu.
Most times, they'll pay you to stay at home with that!
BTW, speaking of the squirts... What do you call a vego with the runs?
A salad shooter...
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
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"My son broke his leg during soccer practise yesterday. I need to stay home with him tomorrow."
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08-19-2003, 12:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-19-2003, 12:35 PM by Zarathustra.)
The vague "I don't feel well enough" works well. If they REALLY want to press you on it, that's when you start explaining that you wouldn't be able to work without rushing to the bathroom ever 3 minutes. And if they STILL don't understand, it's time to go into gruesome detail.
Beauty of this is, when you're back and someone asks you if you're doing better, you can say "Yeah, I don't know WHAT I ate that did that...." and without saying the words you've called it food poisoning.
See you in Town,
-Z
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A clan of evil hypno-ninjas disguised themselves as teppan chefs and tried to assassinate me at the local Beninhana's last night. After luring all the people at my table into a trance (except for me), the chef tried to decapitate me with his boning knife and skewers. I distracted the initial attack with a well-thrown bowl of undercooked shrimp, then ran him through with my chopsticks. Other ninjas joined in on the attack, throwing ashtrays in the manner of shuriken and blowing large flaming gouts of sake from their mouths. I kicked two which sent them sliding across a heated table grill, and pulled down the hat of one who snuck up behind me, blinding him for a key moment until I slapped him down with a cooked trout.
And then I got angry... Crash. Boom. Thud. Tickle. The battle lasted a good ten minutes as I singlehandedly fended off the ninjas. Then I grabbed my still-mesmerized date by the arm and led the two of us out of the restaurant before the ninjas could regroup and redouble their attack.
The thing is, I got a paper cut when I hurriedly paid for cab fare by escaping this restaurant, and I have to tend to it for the entire day.
Political Correctness is the idea that you can foster tolerance in a diverse world through the intolerance of anything that strays from a clinical standard.
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Always go with the general "I don't feel very well." Weaken your voice audibly, as well as gradually hurry it as you talk to whomever is receiving the message. Now, if you're pressed for specifics, give a made-up symptom before (And this is the best bit) hurridly saying that you need to go and hang up without a further word.
When in mortal danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.
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Just thought I'd supply the symptom:
Unilateral nephropruritis
Translation? One of your kidneys itches.
See you in Town,
-Z
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Bad food the night before. Sound like you've been puking your guts out. For added effect, growl / clear your throat repeatedly until your voice becomse slightly hoarse. An old favorite of mine, and completely plausible. One day out, no need for a doctor's note, no complexity. Very clean, very simple, and very believable - just about everyone has, at one time or another, eaten some bad chow and felt the effects for a day.
Best of luck to ya. ;)
Roland *The Gunslinger*
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Avoid bad karma.
Stay away from things like "I got a lump in my scrotum" and you should be fine.
"A witty saying proves nothing." -- Voltaire
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Dihydrogen-Monoxide-poisoning
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*climbs the moral highground*
Well, I suppose I finally found a thread where I can boast about how I went through 3 years of junior college without skipping 1 single day of school.
When I started junior college I wasn't sure how I'd do, academically speaking, so I figured that if I had an unblemished record (absent-wise), I would have something to counterbalance the horrible horrible grades I suspected I would get.
(I know I should know this, but Junior college is age 16-18 in America, isn't it? The same thing they call "upper secondary school in the UK?)
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:lol: (I'm still laughing at Rhydd's reply ) :lol:
I wish I could get 10 sick days a year :P ! If you want to do the stomache flu call , and you can keep from cracking up , bring a pitcher of water (while still on the phone) and pour it into toilet ...... :blink: ...... // sorry if that conjured up a disturning visual :P
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Quote:*climbs the moral highground*
Well, I suppose I finally found a thread where I can boast about how I went through 3 years of junior college without skipping 1 single day of school.
But you don't get paid sickdays in school :)
Quote:(I know I should know this, but Junior college is age 16-18 in America, isn't it? The same thing they call "upper secondary school in the UK?)
Aye, sounds about right. 16-18 is the sixth form, though you could take your A-Levels in Collage rather than stayin' in school to do 'em. Either that, or you don't need any qualifications to be a vagrant.
When in mortal danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.
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08-21-2003, 06:35 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-21-2003, 06:36 PM by Rhydderch Hael.)
In America, it's not. Age 16-18 are the years for high school, 18 being the common age where one graduates from high school. From there its a matter of choice to junior college or university, but that is a matter of economics and academics rather than age. At 19, one can be in a junior college, a university, or a military academyâ on the acknowledgement that they graduated from high school, of course.
Political Correctness is the idea that you can foster tolerance in a diverse world through the intolerance of anything that strays from a clinical standard.
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Well, I am 14 and I am going into high school (most people are/turn 15 sometime in 9th grade, but my birthday is in the summer) and there are four years, so I will graduate when I am 17. But most will graduate at 18. I also haven't skipped any days. I have missed some, though. (I was out for a week once because I passed out twice in the lunch room)
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08-21-2003, 10:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-21-2003, 10:44 PM by channel1.)
Just say you're taking a Mental Health day, since you are feeling the beginnings of the urge to perform acts of extreme violence on your co-workers, and especially the management.
Oh, wait, you're in London, if I recall correctly. Guns are hard to come by. It may be more plausible to say that you have a belated hangover from guzzling all the beer before it got warm, during the blackout. Or, even guzzling beer now, in case there is another blackout. You can't be too careful. :)
-rcv-
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I ended up just calling in and saying "I'm not feeling all that hot today."
My boss said, "Hmm, maybe you'd better stay home."
-DeeBye
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Quote:It may be more plausible to say that you have a belated hangover from guzzling all the beer before it got warm, during the blackout. Or, even guzzling beer now, in case there is another blackout. You can't be too careful. :)
That wouldn't be much of an excuse. It would have been more like the truth :)
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Welll there's always the old "the voices in my head told me to stay home and clean all my guns today".
"Yog-Sothoth is the key to the gate, whereby the spheres meet. Man rules now where They ruled once, but after summer is winter, and after winter summer. They wait patient and potent, for here shall They reign again."
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Quote:If you want to do the stomache flu call , and you can keep from cracking up , bring a pitcher of water (while still on the phone) and pour it into toilet ......
To really get the sound right fill the pitcher half with water and add a jar of chunky tomato sauce.
"Yog-Sothoth is the key to the gate, whereby the spheres meet. Man rules now where They ruled once, but after summer is winter, and after winter summer. They wait patient and potent, for here shall They reign again."
- Abdul Alhazred
Warcraft characters
Stormrage:
- Naphta, 70 Warlock, 350 goblin engineer
- Xinth, 60 Warrior
Terenas
- Nezeramontias, 33 priest
- Boulderan, 13 shaman
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