The barber appreciation thread

[DeeBye]

I love barbers, and I hate "unisex hair salons" with their fancy-dancy "hair stylists".

Barbers know how to cut a man's hair. The hair stylists at a salon do not.

It doesn't matter whether the hair stylist at the salon is male or female; they can't cut a man's hair. Every time I've ever had my hair cut at a unisex hair salon from a unisex hair stylist I've always regretted it. They would take about ten minutes to hack away at my hair like an Amazonian explorer with a dull machete, then charge me $87 for the process. I've never had a good haircut at a unisex hair salon from a hair stylist.

I had the day off of work today (yay! 5 day weekend!) so I figured it was a good day to get a haircut.

I was looking a little bit like


... haircut time!

I had to wait a bit in my barber shop, which gave me some time to absorb the atmosphere and consider a few things about why barbers > hair stylists.

My barber shop had great magazines for male-oriented perusal. Most of them were about fishing, golfing, cars, and other testosterone-related activities. I think I might even have spotted a couple of Playboys in the pile.

Hair salons always have a bajillion issues of Vogue and Cosmo. I'd rather read a Mars bar wrapper.

There was a tiny black and white TV in the corner tuned to whatever channel that had any amount of sports-related programming. Excellent.

There were three chairs (which looked like they were installed in the late 60's), manned by three prototypical barbers. The barbers looked like


(Stalin always did have a great head of hair)

When it was my turn to climb into the chair, all I had to say to the barber was, "number two blade on the sides and back; leave a couple inches on the top and front". And then the barber proceeded to give me the best haircut I've ever had.

The mark of a truly great barber is measured by what he does with his clippers. A good barber will trim up those errant nose and ear hairs without comment. Men sometimes sprout a disproportionate amount of hair from those two orifaces. "Hair Stylists" won't touch 'em, but barbers understand and make sure they are kept under control.

A barber ain't a barber until he pulls the straight razor out. My barber always uses a straight razor and hot shaving cream (dispensed from a 1920's era machine) to clean up my 'burns and neck.

My awesome haircut cost me $12. I tipped my barber $2. It was money well-spent, and I look forward to my next visit.

[Nicodemus Phaulkon]

Further, the barbershop I frequent also makes use of a vacuum cleaner which is hard-mounted onto the wall at the baseboard. The hose is long enough to stretch to any of the three chairs. At the conclusion of the cut, the barber will activate this blessing of machinery and literally vacuum your head, removing all those irritating snipped hairs that tend to fall into the back of your shirt. The sheer practicality of this touches the heart of any man.

Of course, salons wouldn't be caught dead doing such barbarisms; I wouldn't be caught dead in a salon. It all works out. Ditto on the simplistic approach to directions, too: "Get it above the ears, block the back and make it last a couple of months". Bingo, thanks for listening.

Straight-razor on the back, check. Heated foamed cream, check. Ample supply of periodicals and newspapers, check. 13 bucks and a toonie tip, check. Some things never change, and never should.

[Walkiry]

My grandpa would be proud of you people :lol:

Everything he told me about real haircuts has been pretty much summed up in this thread. nicely done :)

EDIT: to add something of my own, I cut my hair with the old-school line on one side of the head, the left one. It only looks right when it's been properly cut at a barber shop.

More importantly, I never get asked if I'd rather have foam or grease on the hair before I leave, because all I get and need is plain water.

[[wcip]Angel]

Didn't Al Bundy say the exact same thing, to the inane cheering of a mindless audience?

[Lady Vashj]

I have never paid anyone for doing my hair.

[Yrrek]

I used to love going to the barber shop....until I started shaving it down to a "1" all over. I love my hair! :)

[DeeBye]

13 bucks and a toonie tip, check.

I always tip my barber. While patiently waiting for my haircut, I noticed (with much dismay) that several clients failed to tip their barber.

Isn't tipping your barber (or your hairstylist, if you're a cretin) mandatory? I mean, these people pretty much determine what your head will be looking like for the next month or so. If they do a good job, they deserve a little extra gratuity.

In my experience, the two people that must ALWAYS be tipped are your pizza delivery guy (to ensure fresh hot 'za on even the busiest of nights) and your barber. It's not really tipping for "services rendered". It's more for "consideration for future services". If I tip nicely now, they will remember me in the future and go the extra mile.

[Nicodemus Phaulkon]

The thing I like about tipping people like barbers is that I know that goes straight into THEIR pocket. No divvies, no percentages to assistants. They did the service, they get the notice. I suppose Pizza-delivery is on the same page as that, but I can't be positive. God knows I'd keep it all if *I* was the one driving around and knocking on stoner-doors all Friday night.

I've also tipped Liquor store clerks when they've been informative and helpful. Also pump jockeys; if they put in the time and effort, I put in the notice and coinage. When it's -40 C outside, with windchill... and they make sure my windows are clear and my lights are clean on top of the fill... that's service with a capital S.

Waiters/Waitresses, well that's a different matter. I'll use the masculine form in my explanation to save effort...

Waiters, by and large, MUST give a percentage of their shifts' sales to the Kitchen staff (which includes the cooks, bussers and sometimes the dishwashers). Where I'm situated, this is usually 5% of the nights sales from their tables. What they're assuming here is that the Waiter is getting tips based on their orders through the night. If we assume that the average tipper gives 10% (cheapass) to 15% (acceptable) of their meal total to the waiter... then the kitchen is getting 1/2 to 1/3 of that for themselves. That amount comes straight out of the Waiter's pocket, regardless of how much in tips they actually garnered during their shift.

Now then... I usually tend to go with the 20%, 10% and 0% rule for serving staff when I eat out. It's easy to calculate on the fly, and tends to cover my "message" at the time.

20% tip is when they have been exceptionally efficient in their job. At 20%, the waiter has been attentive without being obtrusive. They've been chatty while knowing the exact moment to shut up. They make their recommendations in a subtle manner and never second-guess your own judgement calls. They seem to show up precisely when you think to yourself "I could use a X... where is the waiter?" This type of service is what makes an outing absolutely wonderful.

10% is when they've covered their bases, did their job and generally haven't spilt anything on me. The food is ordered, the food is delivered. They didn't piss me off, insult me or my party and generally did a "sufficient" effort. Neither good nor bad, I realize their time is money too... so I give enough to cover the Kitchen's percentage and a small bit for themselves.

0%. Rather self-explanatory -- they sucked. They wouldn't shut up, they were crass and rude. They couldn't get the order right if you tattooed it on their forehead for the Kitchen to read. Everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong and it was their bloody fault. Essentially at 0%, my meal just cost THEM money. 0% tips are invariably accompanied with small notes on the back of the bill addressed to the manager, urging them to attempt to save their business from the atrocity that's serving their customers. Since it is a bill, said "atrocity" cannot destroy the paperwork... and the message generally gets to someone that'll show it to someone that needs to see it.


*tips helm*

[Nicodemus Phaulkon]

Even the Lowest Common Denominator sometimes hits on a Higher Truth.

*tips helm*

[DeeBye]

I suppose Pizza-delivery is on the same page as that, but I can't be positive.  God knows I'd keep it all if *I* was the one driving around and knocking on stoner-doors all Friday night.

Pizza delivery dudes keep 100% of the tips. I know so, because I was such a delivery dude whilst in high school.

Actually, it was a great job now that I look back on it. I was paid $2 per delivery (under the table *SHHH!*) and I kept all the tips. On a slow night I'd make about $60 cash. On a busy night I'd clear well over $100. On average I guess I made about $75 per night, working a 6 hour shift.

Since I was paid per delivery and not by the hour, I was free to do whatever I wanted to when I wasn't busy. I was almost always able to do my homework.

Also, the local strip joint ordered pizza from time-to-time. I can honestly say that I've given hot pizza to two naked women. I can also say that naked women tip very well.

[kandrathe]

There was a little salon within walking distance of my college apartment. It was so handy and I've been going to the same stylist now for 20 years. She has moved establishments 4 or 5 times. To change now would feel like I was cheating on her.

[AtomicKitKat]

Heh. I haven't been to a barber in almost 1/2 a decade. After my military stint finished in 2k, I had one last haircut back around August that year, and it was left well alone until the following year, when I did a light trim, and left alone until the end of October LAST YEAR, when I took it ALL off(called back for military training). 18 inches, inclusive of a ponytail. Straight to cue-ball city. It's been 5 months now, and it's back to about 4 inches(getting a little long at back) I might get it cut before my cousin's wedding next week. Then again, I might not.

[Tal]

If I didn't know better I would say that you decribed my barber shop to a "T". One good thing about having a Marine Corps Barracks and an Army base in town is that barber shop has been able to avoid going under in the face of the encroaching Uni-Sex salons. I'd gladly pay the Unisex Salon price to my Barbershop to keep them around.

Does anyone else's offer to shave your face for you too? Complete with a warm moist towel before and after makes for a clean and nice shave. :)

[[wcip]Angel]

I have a phobia for that sort of thing. Going to a barbershop for a shave. You sit down and then suddenly the barber slits your throat with the blade.

Paranoia. It's not a comfortable lifestyle.

Every time I see someone getting a shave like that in a movie or a television series, I have to look away from the screen in fear of seeing what I'm afraid of. Still, Die hard II was a great movie!

[WarLocke]

Also, the local strip joint ordered pizza from time-to-time.  I can honestly say that I've given hot pizza to two naked women.  I can also say that naked women tip very well.

I am so jealous of you. :angry:

[DeeBye]

I am so jealous of you.  :angry:

Don't be. The strippers in the local dive were not the prettiest females I've ever seen :( I'd rather they were fully clothed with bags over their heads. Still, they tipped very well.

I was much more enthused about delivering pizza to 18 Bain Street. This is an address that will be forever memorized by me. The sole occupant of 18 Bain Street was a very attractive female. She ordered 'za at least once a week, and us delivery drivers used to fight over who got the privilege of knocking on her door.

You see, Ms. 18 Bain Street was a bit of an exhibitionist. Even in the depths of an icy-cold Ontarian winter, she would always answer her door wearing little more than a bra and panties. She also seemed to favour semi-transparent undergarments.

It didn't matter if was -20°C out, with a windchill into the -40° range. 18 Bain Street would always throw her front door open and present herself in minimal garb. She liked to stand there and make small talk for awhile before accepting her order. I swear, Ms. 18 Bain Street could have been a wonderful Victoria's Secret model.

[Sal Paradise]

In my experience, the two people that must ALWAYS be tipped are your pizza delivery guy (to ensure fresh hot 'za on even the busiest of nights) and your barber.  It's not really tipping for "services rendered".  It's more for "consideration for future services".  If I tip nicely now, they will remember me in the future and go the extra mile.

You had BETTER tip your pizza guy. When I was in college, seven or eight years ago, I used to deliver pizzas. Under each customer entry in the computer, there was a "comments" section. If you didn't tip, the driver would put "no tip" or "crappy tip" in the comments section. This would ensure that you would get the last delivery, and would ALWAYS get a cold pizza. Sometimes, the drivers would just leave the pizza out of the heater bag just so they could make CERTAIN that it would be cold when it arrived. Also, those people never get crushed red pepper, grated parmesan cheese, or any of the extras.

What is a good tip for a pizza driver? I always considered 10% to be a decent tip. I never liked getting less than $2, though.

[WarLocke]

I was much more enthused about delivering pizza to 18 Bain Street.

Now I'm really jealous. :blink: