I would win at myspace.com

[the Langolier]

Ok, well, as an amatuer web host, I kept getting a report of this error page: robots.txt. I thought to myself, "But I don't have a robots.txt on my webpage!". So I figured I had two options: either I can either google this, OR I can make the host happy and just PUT a robots.txt file in there. I opted to go with the second choice.

Oddly enough, the next time I checked the requested pages, ROBOTS.txt was almost the number one requested page of them all! What was going on? Well, one thing lead to another, and I becamed convinced people were actually reading this text file. So, I figured as long as they are going through the trouble, why not give em something to talk about. And thus, my unofficial blog was started!

Upon backing up my site tonight, I came across this file and had a fun time reading through it again. And yes, I do at this time know the purpose of the file "robots.txt" (as shown in the 'blog'), therefore I somewhat embarrassingly release some gems of the blog to you: the once-intended audience. Enjoy.

Code:

    08 July 2004

Congratulations, robots.txt just reached the second most requested page on the site.
What the heck.  As for the price calculator, all I have to do is make a function to calculate and
report the price (pretty easy) and fix a bug which makes the "suffix value" not become disabled
when switching the item type to unique.  I might get some time to work on it next week,
but I am out of time right now.  Soon, soon.

    1 Sep 2004

I seriously don't know what is up with this file.  For some reason back when I first
created this site it showed up as an error page quite a bit.  I got tired of seeing this
file as the ONLY error file for a while, so I created this file to get rid of it!
Really, this silly page is requested like 35 times a week.  Consistently!  I warn you,
I could turn this into a BLOG!!  Are there seriously any improvements you want?  I can't do
much with the heavy work schedule I have, but I am open to ideas that I can at least work on
slowly.  I hope the site is still useful to you anyways.

    15 Dec 2004

Holy Cow the secret is out! (that just reminded me of the secret cow level - and no, it still
doesn't exist) This file is once again the most requested page of the site.  We need some new
rules.  1.) You do not talk about robots.txt.  2.) You do NOT talk about robots.txt...lol
OK, you're right, that is way too overdone.  In all honesty, I can't figure out for the life
of me the fascination with robots.txt, but as long as there is a demand I will keep up the
supply.

So, get this little story:  I was calling someone back that had left me voicemail and got the
wrong number.  Well, actually it was the number that they gave me to call back but they had
made a mistake on the message.  But anyways, I get this wrong number and I hear, "Hey, what's
up?..."  I don't recognize the voice, but I reply, "Que Tal!".  In response I hear, "...sorry,
you're talking to an answering machine, please leave a message."  BURN!  I totally fell for it.
In my defense there a several factors that led to this disgrace.  One, I was in the car
(passenger) on a cell phone and Two, the suprise of hearing an unfamiliar voice knocked me off
my guard.  I leave a message asking for VanMeteren who left me a message.  It's in that
"I'm-not-sure-who-you-are-but-if-you-know-this-person-please-pass-a-long-this-message" tone of
voice.  Shortly thereafter, I contact my desired party and clear things up on that end.  I decide
I'd like to set the person I called at ease to, just to let 'em know all is well and they
don't have to worry over this crazy stalker as far as she knows.  I open with some pleasantries,
let her know I fell for the gag, ha ha, and "peace out".

Approximately 3 hours, 23 minutes later I get a txt message from this person who got a laugh
from the messages I left.  And, to make a short story as long as possible, we start chatting
back and forth a bit.  Two hours later I have a date with Katie.  I just thought it was fairly
interesting how it all worked out.  I never would have guessed in the morning that I would meet
someone in that way.  I don't know, I just thought it was... quaint.  Yep I did it - I just used
the word "quaint".

For those of you who don't think that is a very interesting story, just remember that it
is coming from someone who is currently reading "robots.txt" on the smallest website on the
internet about some guy who you don't even know as he writes about nothing of any importance
who deludes himself in thinking that people actually request and read this page when in
reality it is nothing more than an error page.  Just remember that...  Oh, I'm just kidding.
I kid because I love!  If you don't hear from me before the Holidays, then enjoy them!
Actually, I guess you should enjoy them too even if you don't hear from me... Merry Christmas,
Happy Chanicka... Hannukka... Haunukka... oh whatever you get the point.

    28 Dec 2004

I'm so excited!  I got some really great deals in the last week.  First I got 100 CD's for
$14.00.  That is cheaper than you can normally get 50.  I've got tons of music and data to
burn so this was just perfect.  Secondly, I was d/l "The Lord of Terror - a Diablo Campaign",
which is a NeverWinterNights mod when I saw a link that said "Free copy of NWN"...  Now, that
peaked my interest because I didn't even have NWN even though I was d/l a mod for it.  Hey! I
was planning on getting it someday, and I figured it could be a good idea to get my own copy
of the mod, just in case, y'know - I didn't want to miss out.  Well, as it turns out the deal
was totally legit.  Normally for "free" stuff you have to sign up for all this garbage.  All
I had to do was sacrafice an email and pay $6.00 for shipping.  As for the email, with this
web provider I get 50 free email accounts, and I can create/delete them as I please.  I had
no problem signing up 24fsdf5w@dpsyche.com to any company that wants it.  In fact, I can't
even be certain that they will sell it out, and I made sure not to check any of the "sign me
up for such-and-such newsletter and this-or-that promotional offer", but it would still be
foolish not to expect and be prepared for such. As for the six bucks, all they are sending
out is a CD, so I am sure they make something off of it.  All in all I thought it was a good
deal.  The funny thing is that I won't even be able to PLAY it for several months anyways,
but whatever.  I'll have it to look forward to, right?

    07 Feb 2005

Not too much has been going on over on my end.  Actually I do have a slightly humorous story
for you tonight.  I was driving around this 15-passenger van for my company - it's Ford
E-350 utility van - tonight in the rain.  Soon I realize that the cars behind me
probably can't see around me nor through my windows due to my size.  This made me wonder:
"what if I were to stop at a red light several feet back from the line, even when there were
no cars in front of me."  I totally bet that the cars behind me wouldn't know any better and
just sit there, he he.  I decide to test out my theory just as I am coming up to an intersection
with a freeway onramp (I-270).  Well, I stop 5 car lengths before the light (at a minimum).  I
was the first car to get to the intersection and I was in the middle lane.  Sure enough,
all the cars behind me stop and just sit there. LOL.  It gets better.  Shortly thereafter,
a car in the right lane starts slowing down... and STOPS right next to me.  Then, a
minivan in the left lane also stops right next to me.  I am not making this up.  I Single-
handedly stopped all three lanes of traffic FIVE car lengths before the light!  Just to
rub it in, I pulled up to the line before the light turned green.  I wonder what all the
cars behind us were thinking... But more especially, I wonder what the people next to me
were thinking!  It was so obvious how far away the light was.  I believe at that inter-
section the stop lines are quite faded, so I am sure that plus the rain were on my side
tonight.  It was just hilarious!  And I'm spent.

    06 Aug 2005

Holy Freak I'm an idiot!!  I am working on configuring a phpBB right now, and I ran into some trouble,
so I went to their forums to browse...  AND FOUND THIS RANDOM POST!!

Bobble:
[    You could also use a robots.txt file to block all (well, most) bots quickly and easily.
[
[    Just put this code in file and upload it to your root.
[
[        Code:
[        User-agent: *
[        Disallow: /phpBB2/
[
[    Just change the /phpBB2/ part to whatever you path is.

OMG I bet every web guru guy has just been Laughing and Laughing at me... LOL.  This file is actually
usefull?!  You can put CODE in it?!  Where have I been?  I MUST learn more about this "robots.txt"!

Personally, my favorite line is: "to make a short story as long as possible..."

[Munkay]

:)

Thanks for sharing Langolier, it gave me a good chuckle. I think all of us have been down a similar road before, thanks for being kind enough to share it with everyone else!

Cheers,

Munk

[kandrathe]

...
OMG I bet every web guru guy has just been Laughing and Laughing at me... LOL. This file is actually
usefull?! You can put CODE in it?! Where have I been? I MUST learn more about this "robots.txt"!
[/code]

Personally, my favorite line is: "to make a short story as long as possible..."

I've had my moments as well... This one day I freaked out while I was VNC'd into this nix box, and suddenly everything I spoke out loud was being typed into the console. I thought I was hacked by the NSA, haunted or both. I realized after about an hour that the microphone and transcription software in XP were working on this terminal program.