Tips for beards?

[DeeBye]

I've been growing a beard since November. I have always wanted a full-fledged beard, but I've never made it passed the itchy stage. I've always wussed when it got itchy and shaved it off, but not this time. This time I prevailed. Now I am into the definite BEARD stage and not the "hey you should shave you look like a hobo" stage. What I am sporting on my face is a good 1" of solid beard growth, and it is not patchy in any way (patchy wannabe-beards are the worst).

Now I need the advice of the elder beardsmen of the lounge. Just how do I keep care of this mass of follicles around my face? And how do I eat soup without dousing my mustache in my spoon of soup?

I find that using my wife's very expensive hair conditioner on my beard makes it feel soft and silky. Is that okay? She leaves it in the shower so I figure it's up for grabs.

[--Pete]

Hi,

Now I need the advice of the elder beardsmen of the lounge. Just how do I keep care of this mass of follicles around my face? And how do I eat soup without dousing my mustache in my spoon of soup?

I last completely shaved on December 22, 1967 (which, by an amazing coincidence, was also the day I got out of the Army :whistling:). I did get down to about three whiskers a few years ago during chemo, but Magi and I have agreed that that is enough to constitute a beard (although it was kinda patchy). So, I'd guess, that both by age and age of beard I qualify as an 'elder beardsman'. OTOH, when it comes to beards, I've stuck to the KISS principle, so this may not fit your plans or desires.:)

Basically, about once a month, I trim the whole thing down to about 1/2 inch using a pair of regular scissors and my fingers as a gage. I simply hold the beard between my index and middle fingers with the back of my hand facing out, and I trim it level with the fingers. I like to keep my cheeks, lower lip, and neck shaved. I just use a common disposable razor and shaving cream. I like to shave in the shower in front of a suction cup mirror. I also trim my mustache with the razor and pass a corner of it under the mustache to eliminate the stubble next to the lips.

And that is about all I do. When I couldn't use a common razor and scissors (because I didn't have an immune system), I used an electric razor with a trimmer tool. And, recently, Magi bought me a Norelco All in One Trimming System, but I've only used it once and the jury is still out.

I've never had my beard professionally blocked (I think that's the correct term).

I find that using my wife's very expensive hair conditioner on my beard makes it feel soft and silky. Is that okay? She leaves it in the shower so I figure it's up for grabs.

You looking for a job or for a girlfriend? I guess if it's OK with your wife, it's good with me. :P

--Pete

[Kevin]

I can't help much. I can't do a full beard, it's patchy, my hair is thin, scraggly and red/blond so it doesn't show up well anyway. Not a good look for me.

When I was sick I did end up with a fuller one, looked like crap though. I tend to have a goatee most of the time though. Shampoo and conditioner helped me a lot with the longer goatee and fuller beard, tried to keep the regular body soap out of it.

The mustache, I just keep it trimmed back some or get it long enough that you can style the hair away from the mouth. Keeping the lower lip cleaner can actually help with it too as some me (myself included) will unconsciously raise the utensil a little higher to avoid it and hence be more likely to "dip the mustache".

[Sir_Die_alot]

I was going to grow a beard but after it got about a half to 3/5 inches long I was at frys looking at buying a new video card. As I was there 2 fat middle aged men with long hair and scruffy beards walked up on either side of me and also were looking at video cards. I looked right and looked left and realized I looked exactly like them but 20 years younger and 60 pounds lighter. I shaved the next morning and got a haircut that same week. I haven't even gotten to the itchy stage since. :ph34r:

[Zarathustra]

Just what are you aiming for? When you say "beard" are we talking ZZ Top? The ol' Sheriff of Nottingham goatee?

When I grow mine out, I have to let it get to about an inch and then trim it back to about half... just to even things out and let the slower hairs catch up. After that, it's all good. When I first grew it out, I measured against my thumb and used scissors to trim, but a good electric trimmer with an adjustable length is the way to go.

Shampoo and conditioner? Yes. It's hair. Treat it as such.

As for the soup issue, are you going for legnth on the mustache and sweeping it ot the sides? The alternative is to trim it along the lip and let it fill out ot that level, avoiding the food problem alltogether. I've found I actually spilled more on my chin than anywhere else.

Granted, I never grew it out THAT long. I had more of the Ewan McGregor version of Obi-wan Kenobi going on. YMMV.

[krishta]

I used to grow a good beard. When my son was born I stopped shaving and grew a big bushy beard. Kept it for 2 years. I trained the little guy to grab on and pull my beard. Why, you ask? Well, my brother grows a better beard than me (once in a while), and so when he finally showed up with facial hair he got the shock of his life when his nephew reached out with both hands and did a chin-up on the beard. :w00t: The look on my brother's face was worth it. Priceless. But I digress...

About 7 years ago it started going gray. And not a nice salt & pepper kind of gray, but more of a patch here and a patch there, and the colouring wasn't symmetrical. Awful looking mess. But this past October I tried again, and hey it grew in with a cool looking light/dark symmetry. So now I'm sporting a beard again.

As far as hair care goes, I use a conditioner on it. Makes a big difference. I have a set of clippers to trim with. Just cut it back to a #4 (1/2 inch) on Sunday. I keep the mustache cut shorter with scissors because my wife complains that the long mustache hairs go up her nose when I kiss her. Beware of spousal disapproval!

[DeeBye]

Just what are you aiming for? When you say "beard" are we talking ZZ Top? The ol' Sheriff of Nottingham goatee?

I want a giant bushy lumberjack beard for now, then I'll decide later.

BEARD UPDATE!

You know what sucks about this beard? Going outside into a Canadian winter after having a shower. Beardcicles are not fun. Shampoo and conditioner is one thing, but a blow dryer? I don't think my new-found beard manliness can take that. I'll have to use a little more towel I guess.

I also got my first beard compliment from a total stranger today. A little old lady came up to me and said she liked the colour of my beard (it's got a slight orange hue), and how full it was. She also said that more men should grow beards like they used to do when she was young. It made me smile and stroke my beard in satisfaction.

[DeeBye]

Beware of spousal disapproval!

My wife has so far not disapproved. I think she expects me to shave it any day now. I've always had a goatee because she hates me clean-shaven (she says it looks like she's married to a 18-year old because I have a youthful face), so the full beard isn't a big jump I guess.

My son thinks it's great. He loves to touch it. He also says it makes me look like Opa (his grandfather, and my dad). I guess that makes me feel kind of old, but I don't mind.

[--Pete]

Hi,

. . . she hates me clean-shaven (she says it looks like she's married to a 18-year old because I have a youthful face) . . .

From Much Ado About Nothing:
Leonato: You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
Beatrice: What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him.

:lol:

--Pete

[LochnarITB]

What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth... he that is more than a youth is not for me

Wow! Now I find out this thing staves off all that bothersome attention from the ladies. Here I thought I grew it because I was just lazy.;):lol:

[Vandiablo]

I want a giant bushy lumberjack

Partial quotes are fun!

I want a giant bushy lumberjack beard for now, then I'll decide later.

So yesterday, being Wednesday, you went shopping and had butter scones for tea?? Oh, you're a lumberjack and you're okay...

A little old lady came up to me and said she liked the colour of my beard (it's got a slight orange hue), and how full it was. She also said that more men should grow beards like they used to do when she was young. It made me smile and stroke my beard in satisfaction.

Whaaa... you didn't let her do it?

I've had a full beard since, lessee, 1984 or maybe early 1985.

I do just about exactly what Pete does, except I don't use his shower, and I use an electric shaver/trimmer every day rather than a blade.

I agree with the other posts that it's good to not have hair under your mouth. Even if it's short, you'll still get food on it, and I think the beard looks better without it. As for above the lip, it is best to trim that a certain distance above your lip, again for both food and appearance. (It would have to be very long to "style" it away from your lip.) I use small grooming scissors for above the lip.

As for frequency, shave every day or two (no one really notices if you miss a day), trim above your lip every week or so (or more frequently), and the full beard trim is a matter of preference. I do mine about once a month.

The full beard trim gets hairs everywhere, even when trying to be careful. I use the bathroom sink, but close the drain first, and it makes it easier if you put TP or paper towel in the basin before the trim.

And be warned, even though you remove thousands and thousands of hairs and dispose of them properly, if there's so much as two hairs in the sink when you're done, others using the sink may say that you didn't clean it up.

Once at work, while a co-worker and I were discussing beard maintenance, a female co-worker chimed in about shaving her beard. The two of us had a moment of stunned silence ("did she mean... yes she did") and then had nothing to say since anything we said at that point would be inform-HR material. She had a good laugh.

[ShadowHM]

BEARD UPDATE!

You know what sucks about this beard? Going outside into a Canadian winter after having a shower. Beardcicles are not fun. Shampoo and conditioner is one thing, but a blow dryer? I don't think my new-found beard manliness can take that.

Damn, DeeBye! :lol:

You just proved to me again that sneaking a read of LL posts at work is not a good idea. Snickering out loud at work is guaranteed to raise eyebrows. At least I hadn't just taken a gulp of coffee...

Surely your manly self-confidence can cope with using the wife's hair dryer? At least with the bathroom door closed? :whistling: Better that than beardcicles! :P

[Selby]

Some of us are unable to grow facial hair, even after all these years. My grandfather called it "winning the genetic lottery" because he had to shave every single day to avoid the shadow look and one of his business partners didn't have to.

[DeeBye]

BEARD UPDATE!

My wife does not like the shaggy beard. I trimmed it.

Damnit.

[eppie]

And how do I eat soup without dousing my mustache in my spoon of soup?

Coat your moustache with candle wax: this way anything spilled will automatically drip into your mouth.
(patent pending)

[LochnarITB]

Coat your moustache with candle wax: this way anything spilled will automatically drip into your mouth.
(patent pending)

Do a Snidely Whiplash! (am I dating myself again?:huh:)

[Lissa]

Do a Snidely Whiplash! (am I dating myself again?:huh:)

If you want, we can use carbon 14, but that's only useful for about 20,000 to 30,000 years. After that we have to look at U-235 dating :whistling:

[DeeBye]

BEARD UPDATE!

My trimmed beard is still okay. I kind of miss the shaggy one. I plan on growing it out, but keeping it neat. I think my wife just hated the shagginess of the unkempt beard. I didn't press her on the issue, but I think she'd be okay with a big beard if I keep it under control.

I really wanted to have a Hagrid beard:(

[LochnarITB]

If you want, we can use carbon 14

That would be much preferable to cutting me in half to count the rings!