I just bought a loaf of bread.

[kandrathe]

Buy bread? Nay, we build and underground wheat farm. Lit by solar pipes. But, we need at least a one year supply of non-hybrid wheat for seed, and grinding into flour. It takes about 9 sq. feet to yield 4 cups of flour ( for a loaf of bread). So, figuring a loaf per day, and two yields per year, we'd need about 150 square meters, or 1620 square feet for our indoor field. 45 lbs of wheat will yield roughly 158 cups of ground flour; white wheat will yield a bit more than red wheat, or about 40 loaves. So, we'd need at least 450 lbs of wheat to get through the first year. Considering a family would eat about 1 loaf per day if it were all they'd eat. Me, I'd advocate a dairy cow for cheese, and butter, and maybe some bunnies for the occasional hasenpfeffer sandwich.

But, Water? No problem, we dig a well. And... There is a reason why our ancestors invented beer and wine. It was a way to drink the water without parasites, or bacteria. We'd need to homebrew. So, I'd switch to rye, and some hops, make a bigger field so we can eat, drink and be merry.

[Taem]

Sorry, I'll pass. My wife is gluten intolerant so no wheat for us. I don't know why you all discriminate so harshly against the gluten intolerant amongst us :weep: .

And speaking of beer, gluten free bear is truly terrible stuff :lamenting weep: !

[DeeBye]

I'm more disappointed that DeeBye didn't purchase bacon to go with his bread.

I didn't think I had to announce that. What kind of addlepate goes shopping and doesn't buy bacon? Of course I bought bacon.

[kandrathe]

Sorry, I'll pass. My wife is gluten intolerant so no wheat for us. I don't know why you all discriminate so harshly against the gluten intolerant amongst us :weep: .

And speaking of beer, gluten free bear is truly terrible stuff :lamenting weep: !

[Hammerskjold]

A mocking satirical thread to undermine me. Or I should say, a sad attempt at one. How original! NOT!1111 <---That's! How you do satire! Carbies.

Bran-kind does not live on bread alone. Even you delusional bible clutchers know that. What you all seem to hate and can't handle, is the radical truth that Brankind can and will live on flatbread alone. Forever, alone!

It is my right and resposibility, my duty and destiny, to save bran-kind from itself. It is a cereal oat that I take very cereally, because it's a very cereal batter.

Before I found yeast free Flatbreadism, or maybe it was Flatbreadism that found me. I was an angry, one note screaming, borderline socially ignorant autist, who takes himself way too seriously, and a superb word salad tosser.

Now that I am a Flatbreadist, I am still overflowing with abundance with the gifts described above, but with a mission. No, a Destiny. For every thread is bread, and I will not stop, I can not stop, and I will not stop until every bread is flat!

That is the gift and radical truth of Flatbreadism. It has given me an Identity, and a Destiny. For once in my life, I truly know, who I am. I -AM- Flatbread, and Flatbread -is- me.

Can any of you carbies say the same? Answer: LOLOLOLOLOLZ NO!11

F*&#K your yeastocracy!

PEAS OUT!

TL;DR: What time is it?



Why, it's time to smash the yeastocracy of course! DOWN WITH THE PETIT BOULANGERIE!!1111

[Occhidiangela]

I'm more disappointed that DeeBye didn't purchase bacon to go with his bread.

I was under the impression that he stole it from his greedy, capitalist, bourgeois neighbor. He did this due to his early imprinting, in school, and the playground game "Steal the Bacon" which he never won. The charges were dropped, because, as they say:

It's a fair cop, but society is to blame.

[Scrape]

I want banana bread.

I must say, banana bread beer is quite the crafty concoction.

I always knew if Orson Wells Fargo and Cole Younger teamed up it would be something else.