How to Guarantee a Divorce

[Jeunemaitre]

.... as evidenced by the multiple cuts, scrapes, and bruises I receive almost daily from the jewelry I bought her during our first year together. So, IMHO, it evens out. :)
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I've actually made it a point of policy that I won't by my wife any piece of jewelry that is large enough to bruise anyone. Scratches are one thing, but seriously, bruises? Time to cut back man.