06-14-2005, 06:09 AM
Against my better judgment, I'll bite.
While the example you provide is more extreme, this type of dilemma comes up for me frequently in my professional life. I work extensively with Mexican immigrants, and the position of women in the Mexican culture is well below that of men (and often that of male children). The rate of violence against women in these families is alarmingly high.
This is not state-sanctioned gang rape. I know that. But, when I conduct a home visit and the wife is told to serve drinks and not to speak, that's hard to accept. When a mother has no ability in the home to control her son, and her toddler has the authority to insult her and boss her around, that's hard to accept. When you know the wife is being beaten, regularly, and chooses not do anything to remedy the situation, that's hard to accept.
This isn't a problem that's limited to Mexican-American families. I have seen similar cultural attitudes towards women in other families- immigrants from other countries and non-immigrant families. There are also plenty of Mexican families in which this is not a problem- I am lucky to work with those families, too. But, there is a cultural attitude towards women that is making this experience more common in families with this cultural background.
But, does the position of women cause me to reject the entire culture? By your argument, that's what I should do. If women are regularly treated so poorly in this society, how can I accept that?
That is a question I ask myself on a regular basis.
But culture is much bigger than that issue, even if it's an issue that's hurting and even killing women. There are other aspects of the culture that can help me learn and develop as an American.
Luckily, I don't have to set public policy in this matter. I get to work with individuals. So, I do my work with individuals- meeting people where they are, and hopefully making a positive impact on those individuals in some of these challenging areas. In return, I think that the families have met me where I was, and helped me to make progress on some of my more annoying American habits.
The middle east is much more isolated from the west than Mexico is. I know that. The situation I'm describing is much less drastic than the one you're describing. But, I think it's the same issue at its core. It's just a matter of extremes. I'm not willing to dismiss an entire culture or religion based upon one aspect, even if that aspect is as findamental as the treatment of (roughly) half the population. But, that doesn't mean that I don't feel strongly about it. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to see things change. I just don't think it has to be seen in black and white.
While the example you provide is more extreme, this type of dilemma comes up for me frequently in my professional life. I work extensively with Mexican immigrants, and the position of women in the Mexican culture is well below that of men (and often that of male children). The rate of violence against women in these families is alarmingly high.
This is not state-sanctioned gang rape. I know that. But, when I conduct a home visit and the wife is told to serve drinks and not to speak, that's hard to accept. When a mother has no ability in the home to control her son, and her toddler has the authority to insult her and boss her around, that's hard to accept. When you know the wife is being beaten, regularly, and chooses not do anything to remedy the situation, that's hard to accept.
This isn't a problem that's limited to Mexican-American families. I have seen similar cultural attitudes towards women in other families- immigrants from other countries and non-immigrant families. There are also plenty of Mexican families in which this is not a problem- I am lucky to work with those families, too. But, there is a cultural attitude towards women that is making this experience more common in families with this cultural background.
But, does the position of women cause me to reject the entire culture? By your argument, that's what I should do. If women are regularly treated so poorly in this society, how can I accept that?
That is a question I ask myself on a regular basis.
But culture is much bigger than that issue, even if it's an issue that's hurting and even killing women. There are other aspects of the culture that can help me learn and develop as an American.
Luckily, I don't have to set public policy in this matter. I get to work with individuals. So, I do my work with individuals- meeting people where they are, and hopefully making a positive impact on those individuals in some of these challenging areas. In return, I think that the families have met me where I was, and helped me to make progress on some of my more annoying American habits.
The middle east is much more isolated from the west than Mexico is. I know that. The situation I'm describing is much less drastic than the one you're describing. But, I think it's the same issue at its core. It's just a matter of extremes. I'm not willing to dismiss an entire culture or religion based upon one aspect, even if that aspect is as findamental as the treatment of (roughly) half the population. But, that doesn't mean that I don't feel strongly about it. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to see things change. I just don't think it has to be seen in black and white.
Why can't we all just get along
--Pete
--Pete