What would you think of....

[Archon_Wing]

LL-Barb woke up and polished his trusty spear. The sun was blinding and the desert heat made him feel groggy and tired. Nevertheless he had a mission to do. Seek the tomb of Tal Rasha and stop Baal from being free. He walked over the Greiz and asked for a mercenary. His new companion, Emilio, was a spearman too. Even though the two rarely talked with each other, an aura of divine power shined with them both, demonstrating the bond they had forged as they fought monster horde after monster horde.

He soon realized that he needed to recover a Horadric Staff. Alas, the staff was an ancient relic and broken at the top. It would take the power of a Horadic Cube to repair the staff.

LL-Barb and a fellow Barbarian journyed into the desert and descended into the halls of the dead. The place was dark and smelled of something that only Hell could only create. The mercenary was rather hesitant, as there were many foul demons he had never laid eyes on. Sweatdrops poured down his face and he died because he was frozen in fear (or stupidity) The Barbarians paid no heed to the eerie calls of the monsters as they coldly impaled their unforunate foes. They recovered the hidden treasures of tombs- the Hodraric Cube

His Barbarian companion had other matters, so he embarked on another journey. Cain remarked "You have a wonderful treasure." Cain began to ramble on, but the Barbarian simply ignored him and went to his vault. He grabbed some gold and went down to Atma's taven for a drink. There he met Gelgash. "I am the best warrior there ever was, I shall never be matched. Not even by a brute like you."

Obviously the very drunk Barbarian did not like this supposed veteran's snide comments and overturned the table. He walked around Gelgash with a piercing stare. He let loose a terrifying roar and the fool cowered in fear. He pointed his spear at his next victim. However, Jerhyn came along and warned the Barbrian that brandishing weapons and yelling loudly in town was forbidden. The Barbrian walked calmly (at least for a drunk) away.

Still drunk, The Barbrian saw that he had over 100,000 gold. He saw Elzix who was willing to play a game of gambling. The Barbrian, thinking his chances were good, nearly bet all his cash. In the end he had two rare items of low power, but they would suffice. Seeing he had little money left, the Barbrian was rather suprised. He went back to Atma's for yet another drink and passed out.

When he awoke, he came along a necromancer, an Amazon, and another Barbrian that had crossed the desert. They had arrived to fight the Prime Evils. LL-Barb, still suffering from a hangover decided to accompany them. He paid Greiz some money to use his satanic powers to reserruct the sad mercenary. And thus they plodded along. They fought disgusting bugs, evil vipers, and walked along the weirdest type of funky archtiecture- The Arcane Sanctuary. The summoner was rumored to have inhabited this odd place, and he had deadly powers. Indeed the glacial blasts and burning firewalls were impressive. However, a quick leap attack dispatched the mage. The summoner though, was not really the summoner. There was a book, but LL-Barb hated reading, especialy in weird languages. The necromancer read it aloud, and said a few weird things. A portal opened and warped them all to the Canyon of the Magi.

There were seven tombs, but the book had told them the correct tomb. Dozens of evil minions came from them at all sides. However, the effects of super-drugs, the red and purple potions, kept the adventures alive.

LL-Barb saw an odd orrifice. Seeing that the hordadic staff fit fairly well, he inserted it in and pressed "on." "Oh, s***" was his initial reaction. With a new blast in the wall, everyone went in.

Instead of finding Baal, they saw an ugly slug who called himself Duriel. "Looking for Baal?" The slug taunted.
"Yes. I was going to kick Baal's sorry behind. Too bad we only have you here, but you'll do fine for me to knock around."

"Die, filthy human!"
"What? You're calling me filthy?"

The slug lunged towards the Barbrian. The humans felt themselves chilled by Duriel's evilness. LL-Barb coldly walked aside and stabbed the slug. Green blood splashed all over the place. LL-Barb was not intimidated, although the Amazon complained that her plate was now stained. Emilio spent most of the battle wiping his stains off. The Necromancer offered to help the Amazon clean up, but Duriel suddenly charged at the necromancer.

The necromancer's life slowly drained away, but the other Barbarian (otherwise known as Obi-Wan) stopped Duriel right in his tracks. The Amazon pelted Duriel with arrows and LL-Barb drove his spear in the slug again. Duriel, screaming in pain unleashes a deadly smite attack, knocking them all away.

The necromancer got up and started mummering arcane chants. He used his own blood to make an oddity known as the Blood golem. Duriel was weakened by the curse, but the slug would not die.

"Use the Force, LL-Barb," said Obi-Wan.
"What, you're not Yoda."
"So?"

Ll-Barb concentrated his forces into a powerful force, colorfully named concentrate. The necromancer casted a diabolical curse increasing the fetidness of a wound. Duriel collapsed and thousands of tiny maggots flew all over the place. The heroes had fun stepping on them.

Unforunately, baal had escaped. Tyreal said he couldn't stop the Prime Evils since he smoked so much crack last night. In frustration, the heroes headed on to the Kurast forests.

But little did they know that there would be something more frustrating. Getting out of the forrest and recovering the body parts of some guy named Khalim.

To be continued