Star Wars Episode III

[Occhidiangela]

2)  The only thing Titanic about it is the ego of Lucas.
3)  When are titanic 2->6 coming out?  :P
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2. I gather that the budget is pretty big, titanic even. CGI costs money. :)

3. Regarding The Titanic and its possible sequels. From where I sit, SOS, . . . - - - . . . (the international distress signal) means Save Our Souls, not Soap Opera, Sappy. :P

The way I figure it, Hollywood will fund The Maine, The Andrea Doria, The Mary Rose, The Lusitania, and The Soryu as "ships that sink" II through VI. Leonardo DiCaprio, Jude Law, or a suitable beefcake will pursue a series of increasingly plump starlets as the absurdity of "it's all about me" in a shipwreck achieves its apotheosis in The Titanic Episode VI: Soryu. This massively budgeted film will be co-directed by "King of the World" Cameron and Oliver Stone. Needless to say, historical facts will be ignored.

There will be female sailors on Japanese warships, with the romantic lead played by Haidozo Sumimasen. She will star as Pokki Yummiguti, the daughter of a Geisha and a Sumo Wrestler who favors her father. The wrestling heiress is the love interest, across rank and class lines, of LCDR Tanaka of the Imperial Fleet (nephew of RADM Tanaka of the Midway Invasion Fleet) during the Battle of Midway's lead up. His assignment to Soryu as Admiral Nagumo's Combat Staff Liaison allows him to both serve his Admiral and continue in his doomed, illicit romance. All the while, he reveals the problems of the Japanese battle plan while in the evenings he accumulates considerable wealth with his nightly "Go, for serious money" matches against the hapless wardroom of Soryu. Since he is a member of the Air Fleet's combat staff, his penchant for gambling, poor eyesight and bad judgement can now be revealed as contributing causes to the Imperial Fleet's Midway debacle. )

As a sign that the Titanic series is over, and as cross genre foreshadowing, Pokky will be horribly burned on the Soryu's flight deck (where she is an ammo handler) as fuel and ammunition goes off after the attack by LCDR Leslie's SDB Dauntless dive bombers. We last see her on Soryu in the hands of a Japanes damage controlman, who wears a fireman's mask eerily similar to Darth Vader's. As he lowers her into a life boat, he mutters something in Japanese, which the subtitles will show as "At least this battle did not take place in the Sea of Okotsk, where the Icebergs float!" (What he really says is "I need to make more than scale for this crap.")

Soryu in her prime
Soryu was struck by three bombs, neatly placed from fore to aft, exploding near all elevators, destroying all planes and ammunition stored on and beside the planes, and was out of the action by 1040, ten minutes after the last Yorktown planes had pulled up. Five minutes later, abandon ship was sounded, and Captain Yanagimoto committed suicide by plunging into the raging fires. Attempts to keep her afloat were made, but shortly after 1920 (7:20 PM) she finally slid into her watery grave.

The movie closes in Hollywood, years later, in streets filled with folks wearing platform shoes and leisure suits. Pokky parks her AMC Pacer, wearing her usual Geisha kimono and a Vaderesque Kibuki mask, in front of a tall building. She enters the glass doors and walks up a flight of stairs to enter a Hollywood producer's office in hopes of landing a role. The name on the door is George Lucas.

The movie soundtracks will win many awards. Mr Cameron will insist that Celine Dione sing the lead song for each film. Even so, James Horner will salvage each sound track in spite of the skinny screamer's inclusion.

Occhi