How to Win Friends and Influence Priests

[Bolty]

My problem is that many parties will not let the Druid play as a Druid. The tanks don't want you playing off-tank, even though in many cases I have more hit points and armor than the pally they might be using in the role, and the Priests don't want you to heal since that's a 'waste of mana'. This leaves me standing at the back of the group, doing my measly 45-60 caster DPS and wondering how to explain things to people.
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I know little of Druids. I assumed they had a little firepower in the casting department and would be of more use with their mana that way. I usually expect to see Druids in bear or cat form if I'm doing the healing.

If there is a Priest and a Druid in the party, they should almost always split the healing duties. I often pair with a holy specced Priest, and when I'm along he's free to use mind control to great advantage, since he doesn't have to worry about the healing. He'll let me use the bear form when it's needed, and move himself  into a healing role. This makes a great combo, one that along with a Mage, a Rogue and a Warrior was able to easily and quickly handle the BRD escort quest.
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The problem with this is that a Holy spec'ed Priest is very focused on healing. It's what they're made for, it's what they're good at. Having one with you *should* mean that you get to have the night off for healing duties and can concentrate on dishing out damage. Mind Control is such an iffy spell for Priests; I only use it when I'm in a non-threatening situation, like if the group is fighting mobs that are all 5 levels lower than us and not much of a problem. If you take healing away from the holy Priest, what they have left is...Shadow Word: Pain and Smite. And that ain't much.

It's also quite viable to let the Druid do the initial healing, and then have him drop into bear form to deal with the ensuing aggro. This keeps the Priest alive and at full mana later in the fight, and gives him two tanks to help him out.
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This I agree with quite a bit - a Druid can help keep aggro off a Priest this way.

But when the Priest has told you 'Don't heal', and the main tank has told you 'Don't use forms', it's simply a complete waste of my abilities. And a pet peeve, as you can probably tell. :)
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Now, my question: why would a tank tell you not to use forms? If a Priest has the healing covered, wouldn't they appreciate the extra damage you provide? Keeping you around purely for healing makes for a SLOW group, since you're down to just 3 offensive slots...

-Bolty