Found this Amusing
#1
Found this on the WoW Beta boards and didn't want it to get lost:

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When in the Course of Game Development, it becomes necessary for testers whine and complain about the game features that they think Suxxor, and to assume that they are omnipotent in the ways of game design among the powers of the industry, that they are the one and only person to which the Game Design and Sales success is based upon, a lack of respect for the efforts of the developers requires that they should whine, cry, piss, and moan, and threaten to Cancel their Collector’s Edition Pre-Order.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all classes should be equal, that we are endowed by our subscription with Certain Unalienable Rights, that among these are Gold, Leet Skillz and the pursuit of Phat Lewt.

That to secure these rights, beta testers are chosen among Men, deriving their Infallible Opinions from the depths of their own egos, That whenever any Gameplay Feature becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Duty of the Consumers to alter or to abolish it, and to Demand new Gameplay Features laying its foundations on such principles and organizing its Skill Trees in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Testers, indeed, will dictate that Developers Vision does not matter, the game must cater to their every need: and accordingly all experience hath shown, that most testers are more disposed to criticize and complain selfishly, and without consideration of the Greater Effects of Change, while threatening to withhold money, than to justify themselves by presenting clear, examples and well thought out solutions, abolishing the forums to the flamefests to which we are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them to a single vulnerable character in a dynamic and dangerous world, it is their right, it is their duty, to threaten non subscription, and to demand changes be made, or else.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these testers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter World of Warcraft Pre-Orders. The history of the present Blizzard Entertainment is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of a hostile, miserable, Universe, completely devoid of enjoyment. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

They have refused to let us name ourselves White Company, MrFunHooves, xX1337Xx, and BritanySpears.

They have made death be worth avoiding, not a Zerg Tactic or Content Bypass.

They have made us earn our levels, rather than pressing the Lvl60kthx button on the interface.

They have not seen fit to explain their every decision, nor have they sought approval from the community to make changes to their game.

They expect us to test changes after patching rather than revert them based on poor reading comprehension of patch notes.

In every stage of these Oppressions we have petitioned for Redress by screaming "This suxxors change it!" Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Company whose character is thus marked by every act, which shows they are incompetent, is unfit to be the designer of our World of Warcraft.


We, therefore, the Bitter, Anonymous Rabble of the Internet appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of Gamers Everywhere, solemnly publish and declare, That Blizzard Entertainment create 1,000 individual games, tailored to our personal preferences. That they allow us to solo together on hardcore, RP, Factional PvP, FFA PvP, Co-op, PvE and Child safe Sesame Street servers. We further demand the simultaneous banning and implementation of Naming Restrictions, corpse camping, profanity, grouping, raiding, equal loot, equal gold, all trades, international play, instantaneous travel, unlimited mana, filters, customizations, flying, invincibility, death penalties, risk, rewards, challenge, casual gaming, lawlessness, censorship, anarchy, more character classes, more races, more factions, total chaos and complete structure. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Customer Satisfaction, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor. Unless EQ2 sucks more, then we’ll be back.
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Messages In This Thread
Found this Amusing - by Tal - 11-09-2004, 09:40 PM
Found this Amusing - by Bolty - 11-10-2004, 12:46 AM
Found this Amusing - by Artega - 11-10-2004, 01:13 AM

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