Time for more jokes
#26
Metaphors and Similes Found in High School Essays


- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

- She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room- temperature Canadian beef.

- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

- He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

- The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't. (someone's been reading Hitchhiker's Guide maybe?)

- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

- The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

- The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

- They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

- Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

- She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

- Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
UPDATE: Spamblaster.
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Messages In This Thread
Time for more jokes - by Occhidiangela - 03-24-2003, 04:38 PM
Time for more jokes - by TaMeOlta - 03-24-2003, 05:07 PM
Time for more jokes - by Copadope - 03-24-2003, 06:48 PM
Time for more jokes - by ShadowHM - 03-24-2003, 07:35 PM
Time for more jokes - by TaMeOlta - 03-24-2003, 08:15 PM
Time for more jokes - by Erthshade - 03-24-2003, 08:27 PM
Time for more jokes - by Jonathon Spectre - 03-24-2003, 09:46 PM
Time for more jokes - by Elric of Grans - 03-25-2003, 12:05 AM
Time for more jokes - by yangman - 03-25-2003, 12:31 AM
Time for more jokes - by WarBlade - 03-25-2003, 12:35 AM
Time for more jokes - by Sheep - 03-25-2003, 03:09 AM
Time for more jokes - by Executor - 03-25-2003, 03:36 AM
Time for more jokes - by Rhydderch Hael - 03-25-2003, 04:54 AM
Time for more jokes - by Refrigerator - 03-25-2003, 05:39 AM
Time for more jokes - by Refrigerator - 03-25-2003, 05:56 AM
Time for more jokes - by Geladrius - 03-25-2003, 08:18 AM
Time for more jokes - by Roland - 03-25-2003, 03:21 PM
Time for more jokes - by NuurAbSaal - 03-25-2003, 07:01 PM
Time for more jokes - by ShadowHM - 03-25-2003, 09:31 PM
Time for more jokes - by ShadowHM - 03-25-2003, 10:01 PM
Time for more jokes - by WarBlade - 03-26-2003, 01:52 AM
Time for more jokes - by ShadowHM - 03-26-2003, 02:17 AM
Time for more jokes - by Striker - 03-27-2003, 06:45 AM
Time for more jokes - by Oomph-aak - 04-01-2003, 04:11 AM
Time for more jokes - by Occhidiangela - 04-01-2003, 07:21 PM
Time for more jokes - by Count Duckula - 04-02-2003, 06:50 AM
Time for more jokes - by --Pete - 04-24-2004, 07:45 PM
Time for more jokes - by channel1 - 04-24-2004, 08:31 PM
Time for more jokes - by TaiDaishar - 04-24-2004, 09:48 PM
Time for more jokes - by Yrrek - 04-25-2004, 04:30 AM
Time for more jokes - by Chevalis - 04-26-2004, 02:42 PM
Time for more jokes - by Lady Vashj - 04-27-2004, 01:28 PM
Time for more jokes - by swirly - 04-29-2004, 10:25 PM
Time for more jokes - by swirly - 04-29-2004, 10:33 PM
Time for more jokes - by Bun-Bun - 04-30-2004, 03:41 AM
Time for more jokes - by --Pete - 04-30-2004, 02:44 PM
Time for more jokes - by swirly - 04-30-2004, 04:17 PM
Time for more jokes - by NiteFox - 04-30-2004, 06:24 PM
Time for more jokes - by gimlisam - 04-30-2004, 07:38 PM
Time for more jokes - by SwissMercenary - 05-01-2004, 08:04 PM
Time for more jokes - by NiteFox - 05-01-2004, 08:06 PM
Time for more jokes - by Lady Vashj - 05-03-2004, 01:49 PM
Time for more jokes - by [wcip]Angel - 05-04-2004, 10:52 AM
Time for more jokes - by Lady Vashj - 05-04-2004, 08:27 PM
Time for more jokes - by [wcip]Angel - 05-04-2004, 08:29 PM
Time for more jokes - by Jeunemaitre - 05-04-2004, 08:44 PM
Time for more jokes - by [wcip]Angel - 05-04-2004, 09:02 PM
Time for more jokes - by --Pete - 05-04-2004, 09:47 PM
Time for more jokes - by kandrathe - 05-07-2004, 03:06 PM
Time for more jokes - by Fragbait - 05-09-2004, 10:04 PM
Time for more jokes - by Bob - 05-09-2004, 10:42 PM
Time for more jokes - by Bun-Bun - 05-10-2004, 03:33 AM
Time for more jokes - by Fragbait - 05-11-2004, 09:15 PM
Time for more jokes - by Obi2Kenobi - 05-12-2004, 02:03 AM
Time for more jokes - by Minionman - 05-16-2004, 03:05 AM
Time for more jokes - by Obi2Kenobi - 05-16-2004, 04:25 PM
Time for more jokes - by Jim - 05-16-2004, 06:59 PM
Time for more jokes - by Fragbait - 05-17-2004, 11:23 AM
Time for more jokes - by Jim - 05-17-2004, 01:36 PM
Time for more jokes - by Fragbait - 05-17-2004, 03:34 PM
Time for more jokes - by Jim - 05-17-2004, 05:24 PM
Time for more jokes - by Obi2Kenobi - 05-17-2004, 11:03 PM

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