07-01-2004, 09:36 AM
...The Harvard School of Medicine and The Shreveport Gazette & Tribune released the long-awaited results of their joint study on Tuesday. For the last 12 months they've been trying to determine exactly which television game shows most stimulate the viewers' brains. The researchers hadn't included it in their hypothesis, "but none of us was really surprised when Richard Dawson's 'Family Fued' beat Chuck Woolery's whacky show with the 'big bucks, no whammies.' What is that anyway?"
...The Lurker Lounge is close to abandoning it's consideration of WoW as a third game, and has recently been in contact with the folks over at Compucon Productions. The comany is ready to begin alpha-testing their new Justin Timberlake first person shooter; when asked to comment, Compucon said that they were "excited about stickin' (sic) it to Blizzard," and that the newest JT FPS will definitely be out in time for Christmas.
...It turns out that two-party politics is really good idea.
...Big news from RJR, the American mega-corporation. In a rash of corporate take-overs in the late 1970s, the Board of Directors learned their key development strategy. They've announced that in 1978 they placed a precise number of NASA-trained monkeys in a room with donated Xerox typewriters, and that six weeks ago one of them had typed out a cure for nicotine addiction. The now-famous monkey is touring the nation for the next 12 months, including a stop on Wall Street to ring the closing bell. The RJR spokesperson said they're excited to release the cure, and will do so after reviewing any related environmental studies the other monkeys might develop.
...Amazingly, a transmission from the long-fairing Voyager 2 was picked up by the ISS (see related story) this morning. It seems that waaaaaay out there, the stars are simply lights on a sphere, and the probe is requesting
further instructions.
...All of these were chuck-full of hilarity and smack of someone deeply steeped in the art of wit.
Cheers.
...The Lurker Lounge is close to abandoning it's consideration of WoW as a third game, and has recently been in contact with the folks over at Compucon Productions. The comany is ready to begin alpha-testing their new Justin Timberlake first person shooter; when asked to comment, Compucon said that they were "excited about stickin' (sic) it to Blizzard," and that the newest JT FPS will definitely be out in time for Christmas.
...It turns out that two-party politics is really good idea.
...Big news from RJR, the American mega-corporation. In a rash of corporate take-overs in the late 1970s, the Board of Directors learned their key development strategy. They've announced that in 1978 they placed a precise number of NASA-trained monkeys in a room with donated Xerox typewriters, and that six weeks ago one of them had typed out a cure for nicotine addiction. The now-famous monkey is touring the nation for the next 12 months, including a stop on Wall Street to ring the closing bell. The RJR spokesperson said they're excited to release the cure, and will do so after reviewing any related environmental studies the other monkeys might develop.
...Amazingly, a transmission from the long-fairing Voyager 2 was picked up by the ISS (see related story) this morning. It seems that waaaaaay out there, the stars are simply lights on a sphere, and the probe is requesting
further instructions.
...All of these were chuck-full of hilarity and smack of someone deeply steeped in the art of wit.
Cheers.