03-28-2003, 05:16 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-28-2003, 08:14 PM by Rhydderch Hael.)
Some News and Notes of Previous Ventures (who said war had to be a work of sanity?)
London Times, April 2nd, 1902
Angry Puppy Forces Shutdown of Foreign Office
A small English bulldog entered the Foreign Office on Downing Street yesterday, and in a kipper-fueled fury, lay havoc upon the office of the Foreign Minister, three Ambassadorial staff rooms, and despoiled an unhung portrait of the Prime Minister. The Foreign Office will be shut down for a day as Home Guard riflemen are called in to subdue the tiny menace.
Operations are expected to resume late tomorrow or the morning after. As to whom deployed the scurrilous canine, Lord Cavendish declined to say, though he did not rule out foreign complicity.
An excerpt of the "Death Threat". Had Mycroft solve this one without interrupting his sojourn to the Digenes Club, I'm pleased to report...
Lord Cavendish,
We wish first to dissuade you of any attempt to trace the origin of this message for this might prove to be quite unpleasant for your person. Upon analysis of the ink used for this message, you would come to conclude that the subject's blood was added to a few drops of a quite virulent contact poison.
The grey vial included in the parcel is the antidote, drink it at once. It would be quite a shame if you were not to read what follows. Wash you hands -the cabinet in the back office should prove to suit your needs- and cover them. ...
...Enclosed documents are copies of letters sent by Mr. (Mean Old German Guy) and Mr. (Namby-Pamby French dude), they are under seal. You will find the envelope in the parcel. The allusion to the Czar is a lure, this fact is assured. If you wish to require our services again you will publish an article in the London Times including the written numbers : one, five, seven. We will then contact you anew. ...
... If you resign from your fonctions during this period we will make sure you will not fill any other position, ever. Additionaly, in order that you understand the secrecy of our communicaes a similar letter was sent to your wife, she will receive it at the stroke of the second hour this afternoon. There is no antidote included with this parcel. This would leave you aproximately one hour to return home and intercept the letter.
In your urgency, please do not forget to destroy this letter and all of what it contains. Do the same with future communicaes.
The Brotherhood
I have it on good authority that the ink of the letter was laced with cod liver oil, the vial a mixture of anchovy extract and cinnamon scent oil. Hopkins, our undersecretary, spent a good half hour in the India Office lavatory, washing the taste out his mouth. So calls the service of Britannia... :huh:
London Times, April 4th, 1902
Foreign Office Resumes Limited Operation
After a three day standoff between Home Guards riflemen and an overeager bulldog puppy, normal capacity operations within the Foreign Office have resumed. Efforts on part of the Home Guard bore no satisfactory results until young Emily Harols, 8 years of age, came wandering down Whitehall in search of her pet dog, Hercules. Once it was ascertained that the animal in question matched young Emily's description of her six-week old pup, she was allowed entry into the building and emerged two minutes later with the dog happily panting in her arms.
Extensive damage to the interior of the Foreign Office was recorded, but the tasks and handling of the affairs of the Foreign Minister are temporarily being conducted next door in the India Office. When asked about an assassination attempt upon the Foreign Minister, his adjuctants reported that the worst damage that little Hercules did to Lord Cavedish was effect a small tear in his trouser leg. When asked about the other attempt on his life through poison, the adjuctant dismissed the threat. "Lord Cavendish has thrown away half-cooked plates of haggis that were more deadly and potent than the ink on that letter."
Public Announcement of Germany
Dear people of Europe,
The German Nation has stood by for far too long as different factions fight for control of Europe. We declare
that Germany is about to take a more active role in Europe. We reaffirm those alliances we have already made and stuck to, in the face of unprincipled betrayals of faith, and trust that a newer, better Europe can result from this new policy of interaction in Europe.
Yours in hope,
Kaiser Wilhelm III
Public Announcement of France
People of Europe.
Despite current appearances, the French Republic has not abandoned its
commitment to peace and co-operation with the other great powers of
Europe. Our forces on the southern coast have responded to legitimate
calls from the people of Piedmonte for protection from the anarchy
appearing in neighboring Austrian (province of) Tyrolia. The armies of Italy are
occupied in African adventures and in defending more central regions of
Italy and the Piedmontese people are justifiably concerned. They have
by and large welcomed our forces and, with the exception of a few
malcontents, understand they we are there for their own protection.
As soon as order is restored to Austria and Italy is once again is a
position to defend our friends and neigbors, French forces will withdraw
from the region.
Of course until matters are more settled the action of those
aforementioned malcontents necessitate certain curfews and movement
restrictions on the civilian populace but we are sure that in
conjunction with the local plice forces, these small problems can
swiftly be brought under control.
Any concerned nations are welcome to send diplomatic missions to
observe matters "on the ground" as it were to ensure the veractiy of our
claims.
For the Republic
Louis Armand de Villiers
Department of the Exterior
Internal Note with the Commission of the Admiralty, Greenwich, England
Right, then. Enough of this diplomatic hinneytalk and soft tread dancing. Time to bash in a few skulls! Oy!
:unsure: (My British fleets appear to be under the command of soccer hooligans. God save us all.) :huh:
London Times, April 2nd, 1902
Angry Puppy Forces Shutdown of Foreign Office
A small English bulldog entered the Foreign Office on Downing Street yesterday, and in a kipper-fueled fury, lay havoc upon the office of the Foreign Minister, three Ambassadorial staff rooms, and despoiled an unhung portrait of the Prime Minister. The Foreign Office will be shut down for a day as Home Guard riflemen are called in to subdue the tiny menace.
Operations are expected to resume late tomorrow or the morning after. As to whom deployed the scurrilous canine, Lord Cavendish declined to say, though he did not rule out foreign complicity.
An excerpt of the "Death Threat". Had Mycroft solve this one without interrupting his sojourn to the Digenes Club, I'm pleased to report...
Lord Cavendish,
We wish first to dissuade you of any attempt to trace the origin of this message for this might prove to be quite unpleasant for your person. Upon analysis of the ink used for this message, you would come to conclude that the subject's blood was added to a few drops of a quite virulent contact poison.
The grey vial included in the parcel is the antidote, drink it at once. It would be quite a shame if you were not to read what follows. Wash you hands -the cabinet in the back office should prove to suit your needs- and cover them. ...
...Enclosed documents are copies of letters sent by Mr. (Mean Old German Guy) and Mr. (Namby-Pamby French dude), they are under seal. You will find the envelope in the parcel. The allusion to the Czar is a lure, this fact is assured. If you wish to require our services again you will publish an article in the London Times including the written numbers : one, five, seven. We will then contact you anew. ...
... If you resign from your fonctions during this period we will make sure you will not fill any other position, ever. Additionaly, in order that you understand the secrecy of our communicaes a similar letter was sent to your wife, she will receive it at the stroke of the second hour this afternoon. There is no antidote included with this parcel. This would leave you aproximately one hour to return home and intercept the letter.
In your urgency, please do not forget to destroy this letter and all of what it contains. Do the same with future communicaes.
The Brotherhood
I have it on good authority that the ink of the letter was laced with cod liver oil, the vial a mixture of anchovy extract and cinnamon scent oil. Hopkins, our undersecretary, spent a good half hour in the India Office lavatory, washing the taste out his mouth. So calls the service of Britannia... :huh:
London Times, April 4th, 1902
Foreign Office Resumes Limited Operation
After a three day standoff between Home Guards riflemen and an overeager bulldog puppy, normal capacity operations within the Foreign Office have resumed. Efforts on part of the Home Guard bore no satisfactory results until young Emily Harols, 8 years of age, came wandering down Whitehall in search of her pet dog, Hercules. Once it was ascertained that the animal in question matched young Emily's description of her six-week old pup, she was allowed entry into the building and emerged two minutes later with the dog happily panting in her arms.
Extensive damage to the interior of the Foreign Office was recorded, but the tasks and handling of the affairs of the Foreign Minister are temporarily being conducted next door in the India Office. When asked about an assassination attempt upon the Foreign Minister, his adjuctants reported that the worst damage that little Hercules did to Lord Cavedish was effect a small tear in his trouser leg. When asked about the other attempt on his life through poison, the adjuctant dismissed the threat. "Lord Cavendish has thrown away half-cooked plates of haggis that were more deadly and potent than the ink on that letter."
Public Announcement of Germany
Dear people of Europe,
The German Nation has stood by for far too long as different factions fight for control of Europe. We declare
that Germany is about to take a more active role in Europe. We reaffirm those alliances we have already made and stuck to, in the face of unprincipled betrayals of faith, and trust that a newer, better Europe can result from this new policy of interaction in Europe.
Yours in hope,
Kaiser Wilhelm III
Public Announcement of France
People of Europe.
Despite current appearances, the French Republic has not abandoned its
commitment to peace and co-operation with the other great powers of
Europe. Our forces on the southern coast have responded to legitimate
calls from the people of Piedmonte for protection from the anarchy
appearing in neighboring Austrian (province of) Tyrolia. The armies of Italy are
occupied in African adventures and in defending more central regions of
Italy and the Piedmontese people are justifiably concerned. They have
by and large welcomed our forces and, with the exception of a few
malcontents, understand they we are there for their own protection.
As soon as order is restored to Austria and Italy is once again is a
position to defend our friends and neigbors, French forces will withdraw
from the region.
Of course until matters are more settled the action of those
aforementioned malcontents necessitate certain curfews and movement
restrictions on the civilian populace but we are sure that in
conjunction with the local plice forces, these small problems can
swiftly be brought under control.
Any concerned nations are welcome to send diplomatic missions to
observe matters "on the ground" as it were to ensure the veractiy of our
claims.
For the Republic
Louis Armand de Villiers
Department of the Exterior
Internal Note with the Commission of the Admiralty, Greenwich, England
Right, then. Enough of this diplomatic hinneytalk and soft tread dancing. Time to bash in a few skulls! Oy!
:unsure: (My British fleets appear to be under the command of soccer hooligans. God save us all.) :huh:
Political Correctness is the idea that you can foster tolerance in a diverse world through the intolerance of anything that strays from a clinical standard.