04-29-2004, 10:33 PM
From yet another friend of mine.
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and reads:
Panda: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.
There is also a slightly more dirty koala version:
Koala picks up a hooker one night. The koala goes down on her, gets her off a few times, then goes to put on his pants and leave.
The hooker protests this and says, "Hey! Where's my money?"
The koala looks confused and she says, "I'm a prostitute, look it up in the dictionary."
He grabs a dictionary and reads, "Prostitute: One who has sex in exchange for money."
He passes her the dictionary and says, "I'm a koala. Look it up." Then he takes off out the door.
She turns to "Koala" and reads, "Koala: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Australian origin, characterized by brown fur and large eats. Eats bush and leaves."
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and reads:
Panda: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.
There is also a slightly more dirty koala version:
Koala picks up a hooker one night. The koala goes down on her, gets her off a few times, then goes to put on his pants and leave.
The hooker protests this and says, "Hey! Where's my money?"
The koala looks confused and she says, "I'm a prostitute, look it up in the dictionary."
He grabs a dictionary and reads, "Prostitute: One who has sex in exchange for money."
He passes her the dictionary and says, "I'm a koala. Look it up." Then he takes off out the door.
She turns to "Koala" and reads, "Koala: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Australian origin, characterized by brown fur and large eats. Eats bush and leaves."