So...

[ShadowHM]

I think children are best raised by their parents.  If it must be done by others then the State as guardians of the child should make the determination within the available pool of applicants (regardless of maritial status).  From my study of child and adolescent psychcology and experience I would say that the first choice would be to find a substitute stable family with a man, a woman and 1 or 2 children.  Both male and female children use their parental relationships as models of how to relate to others.  Boys learn about maleness from their father, and about femaleness from their mothers.  Single mothers in our society will tell you how important it is for them to find an adult male father figure for their sons.  Loving homesexual same sex couples may be able to meet all the needs of adoptive children, but I think it would be much harder for social workers to insure that the placement is in the best interest of the child.

Hi

This one has been niggling at me a bit. I am unsure of the technicality of this in other jurisdictions, but there is something I want to briefly address. I don't think you meant to imply that the State should choose strangers when family is available.

In our wills, my husband and I have stipulated a guardian for our children, should we both die at the same time. In our case, we have stipulated that the children should go to live with my brother and his wife, who already have two sons. (What's four more, eh? ;) ) Technically, there is a provincial guardian who would review the terms of the will and the suitability of my brother before this would take place. But in practice, the wishes of the parents are very very seldom overturned.

This is consistant with the belief that family is important and that a parent would choose the best family member to do the job.

Now the case of two friends: They have two daughters, aged 10 and 12 at present. Their will stipulates Don's gay brother and his 'wife' to be guardians. The alternative is Jill's single brother who is a firefighter and has extremely odd hours. Uncle Steve and Aunt Jack have been together for longer than Don and Jill, and have been a positive and consistent part of the girl's lives. So it makes sense to Don and Jill to give them custody of the girls, should they die. As noted before, it would be most unusual for the Provincial Guardian to naysay this.

If you are starting from scratch, as in with adoption of an infant, all of what you said makes sense. But in the case of children who are orphaned, it is much better to have family involved, if they are willing. In the case of my friends, even the single brother with the odd work hours would be a better choice than a family of strangers. And, in my case, should something preclude my brother from taking custody of my sons, even my husband's extremely eccentric single brother would be the better choice, because he cares about my children.