A joke or two
#76
An atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that evolution had created.

"What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw an 8-foot grizzly bear beginning to charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes.

He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.

"OH MY GOD! ..."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving ...

As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around,

"You Deny My Existence For All These Years, Teach Others That I Don't Exist; And Even Credit Creation To Some Cosmic Accident. Do You Expect Me To Help You Out Of This Predicament? Am I To Count You As A Believer???"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"Very Well." said The Voice.

The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed.

.... and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive..."
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply


Messages In This Thread
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 10-07-2003, 10:11 PM
A joke or two - by Doc - 10-07-2003, 10:43 PM
A joke or two - by dudearonymus_32 - 10-07-2003, 11:58 PM
A joke or two - by DeeBye - 10-08-2003, 01:02 AM
A joke or two - by ShadowHM - 10-08-2003, 01:11 AM
A joke or two - by Count Duckula - 10-08-2003, 03:52 AM
A joke or two - by Kasreyn - 10-08-2003, 04:07 AM
A joke or two - by DeeBye - 10-08-2003, 05:03 AM
A joke or two - by WarLocke - 10-08-2003, 05:10 AM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 10-08-2003, 02:45 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 10-14-2003, 08:18 PM
A joke or two - by aaa - 10-16-2003, 10:04 PM
A joke or two - by Orbert - 10-21-2003, 11:02 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 10-22-2003, 05:44 PM
A joke or two - by BlackLightning - 10-22-2003, 11:56 PM
A joke or two - by Griselda - 10-23-2003, 12:16 AM
A joke or two - by Doc - 10-23-2003, 01:17 AM
A joke or two - by NiteFox - 10-23-2003, 08:48 AM
A joke or two - by pakman - 10-23-2003, 04:15 PM
A joke or two - by Walkiry - 10-23-2003, 04:43 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 10-23-2003, 07:09 PM
A joke or two - by Crystalion - 10-27-2003, 07:51 PM
A joke or two - by Jeunemaitre - 10-27-2003, 08:31 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 10-30-2003, 10:40 PM
A joke or two - by Lelorinel - 10-31-2003, 04:23 PM
A joke or two - by TaiDaishar - 10-31-2003, 06:20 PM
A joke or two - by Lord_Olf - 11-02-2003, 07:26 PM
A joke or two - by Grayloch - 11-02-2003, 10:05 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 11-03-2003, 09:45 PM
A joke or two - by --Pete - 11-04-2003, 06:56 AM
A joke or two - by Yrrek - 11-04-2003, 06:40 PM
A joke or two - by Grayloch - 11-05-2003, 12:58 AM
A joke or two - by Grayloch - 11-05-2003, 01:04 AM
A joke or two - by Artega - 11-05-2003, 03:18 AM
A joke or two - by Bob - 11-05-2003, 09:52 PM
A joke or two - by ZatarRufus - 11-05-2003, 10:16 PM
A joke or two - by Nomad25055 - 11-08-2003, 06:27 AM
A joke or two - by NeoLunar - 11-08-2003, 11:51 AM
A joke or two - by [wcip]Angel - 11-08-2003, 01:24 PM
A joke or two - by Grayloch - 11-09-2003, 12:37 AM
A joke or two - by Obi2Kenobi - 11-09-2003, 05:21 AM
A joke or two - by Xiuhcoatl - 11-09-2003, 07:41 AM
A joke or two - by Nicodemus Phaulkon - 11-09-2003, 05:39 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 11-10-2003, 02:27 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 11-10-2003, 02:39 PM
A joke or two - by Leah_heartsword - 11-28-2003, 10:42 PM
A joke or two - by Count Duckula - 12-01-2003, 12:00 AM
A joke or two - by Baajikiil - 12-01-2003, 07:32 PM
A joke or two - by LochnarITB - 12-03-2003, 11:48 PM
A joke or two - by Little Faith - 12-06-2003, 02:01 AM
A joke or two - by Guest - 12-06-2003, 03:32 AM
A joke or two - by Guest - 12-06-2003, 03:35 AM
A joke or two - by Count Duckula - 12-18-2003, 02:22 AM
A joke or two - by Yrrek - 12-18-2003, 02:31 AM
A joke or two - by moget? - 12-18-2003, 05:06 AM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 12-18-2003, 08:46 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 12-18-2003, 09:01 PM
A joke or two - by Griselda - 12-18-2003, 11:09 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 12-19-2003, 12:58 AM
A joke or two - by moget? - 12-19-2003, 03:46 AM
A joke or two - by Obi2Kenobi - 01-16-2004, 06:19 AM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 01-25-2004, 10:33 PM
A joke or two - by NiteFox - 01-26-2004, 12:45 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 01-29-2004, 08:17 PM
A joke or two - by Dozer - 02-05-2004, 02:01 AM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 02-05-2004, 06:17 PM
A joke or two - by klaptonic - 02-09-2004, 03:16 AM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 02-10-2004, 02:20 PM
A joke or two - by --Pete - 02-12-2004, 10:10 PM
A joke or two - by Nastie_Bowie - 02-12-2004, 10:15 PM
A joke or two - by --Pete - 02-12-2004, 11:04 PM
A joke or two - by Obi2Kenobi - 02-12-2004, 11:53 PM
A joke or two - by swirly - 02-13-2004, 12:43 AM
A joke or two - by Drasca - 02-16-2004, 11:00 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 02-17-2004, 02:53 PM
A joke or two - by Doc - 02-17-2004, 04:32 PM
A joke or two - by LochnarITB - 02-17-2004, 09:29 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 02-19-2004, 08:38 PM
A joke or two - by LochnarITB - 02-19-2004, 09:21 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 02-19-2004, 09:48 PM
A joke or two - by Oomph-aak - 02-20-2004, 04:44 AM
A joke or two - by LochnarITB - 02-20-2004, 07:43 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 02-21-2004, 12:04 AM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 02-23-2004, 05:24 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 02-23-2004, 06:40 PM
A joke or two - by Refrigerator - 02-26-2004, 06:42 AM
A joke or two - by DeeBye - 02-26-2004, 06:59 AM
A joke or two - by Count Duckula - 02-26-2004, 07:56 AM
A joke or two - by NiteFox - 02-26-2004, 10:07 AM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 03-01-2004, 09:08 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-03-2004, 09:40 PM
A joke or two - by Bob - 03-03-2004, 10:56 PM
A joke or two - by swirly - 03-08-2004, 07:28 PM
A joke or two - by swirly - 03-08-2004, 08:56 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-08-2004, 10:31 PM
A joke or two - by Yrrek - 03-09-2004, 05:09 AM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-10-2004, 03:43 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-10-2004, 03:49 PM
A joke or two - by Crab~Nebula - 03-11-2004, 11:46 PM
A joke or two - by --Pete - 03-20-2004, 05:37 AM
A joke or two - by LochnarITB - 03-20-2004, 07:23 AM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-20-2004, 01:51 PM
A joke or two - by Obi2Kenobi - 03-20-2004, 06:59 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 03-22-2004, 06:31 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-22-2004, 07:55 PM
A joke or two - by jahcs - 03-24-2004, 06:33 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 03-25-2004, 06:43 PM
A joke or two - by Occhidiangela - 03-26-2004, 07:59 PM
A joke or two - by Oomph-aak - 03-27-2004, 08:42 AM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 04-06-2004, 01:20 PM
A joke or two - by Obi2Kenobi - 04-11-2004, 09:38 PM
A joke or two - by Lady Vashj - 04-13-2004, 02:08 PM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 11 Guest(s)